He called me stupid

[Shin]

17 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

It’s a rugged road that gets better, it’s not easy. 

 

There are stages after power struggle ?

[Tangerinedream]

Just now, Shin said:

There are stages after power struggle ?

Hehe. battle of the egos. But of course, This could also be incompatiblity. But this stage could be more or less skimmed over if both ppl had already did the finding of themselves and self love part. the way I see it tho is more like facing challenges along the way, but coming out stronger on the other side.  
 

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Bando said:

@Preety_India Don't be like the guys in the forum and ask for so much advice only going to get lost in theory, ts going to set you back even further.  Im pretty sure you know what to look for in a man that you would like to be with so just use that measurement.

Just as the guys here preach not to take a woman serious until she puts out I suggest you don't overinvest until you start seeing the qualities you want from this guy. You may hold sex to a higher standard than most women so instead of putting out you could flirt and possibly hint towards it if he plays his cards right.

As harsh as this might sound, the number one rule in dating is to never overinvest until the person has reached your standard, to do this properly you must have options or you'll get too caught up with the person. You can give him sex and then the next day he might ghost you, thats the risk you take in trying to find a partner, never forget dating is pretty ruthless.

I will not give him sex 

I don't have sex so easily with the men in my life. Sex only happens when they are proper boyfriend material 

And that happens when I see that the guy is emotionally attached to me and has been loving and trustworthy in general.

The problem that I faced with men in the past is that they were nice in the first 6 months. But over time they would cheat or turn out to be scamming me or betraying me.

It created a lot of frustration because I trusted them to be my future partners but they wouldn't match the standard in terms of loyalty or care/love 

So I had to break up with them 

I don't want the same pattern to keep repeating in my life. 

I have had 4 boyfriends up until now and I'm tired of dealing with men who are nice in the beginning and bad later. Just manipulative shit. 

I want a man with whom I can finally have a family  with and who wouldn't betray my trust.

It's hard because every guy is good initially.

That's why I want to know how I can know that the guy is the real guy who wants sincere relationship with me with no intent to abandon or cheat or play me for a fool. 

I'm tired of that selfishness. I just want a decent plain relationship where both the girl and the guy want each other and settle down for marriage and family and are totally loyal to each other.

No guy says bad things in the beginning because they know they will lose me instantly. So they are careful not to bring out their true Colors and keep hiding it as long as possible.

How to trust a man ? Where I know that his intentions are true and he really wants to be with me out of love and not wanting to be a boyfriend just for sex or temporary company????

It's too hard.

 

I'm tired of men who play games..

 I'm sincere and faithful and loyal in my relationships until now.

It felt like I was the only one who was always sincere and loyal and committed whereas the men weren't. I was the only one who was pushing the relationship forward.

I'm fed up to the point that this is my last effort in finding a man I can find worthy of a long term partner.

 

I'm tired of dumping men. I'm tired of going through the same disappointment in every relationship where I am the only one who wants the relationship and the other party is always trying to fool me in the name of love.

I would love to see a guy stepping up and saying things that he really means, not making fake promises, stepping up to keep my trust and make the relationship work instead of waiting till I dump him out of frustration.

I don't want to be the waiting girlfriend anymore.

 

 

[kamill]

dont make a guy priority .. find something you truly truly love a this thing will autocorrect since you wont be desperate.

[something_else]

@Preety_India I have no idea how old you are, but I get the sense it's on the younger side. I'm not that old either, 21, and frankly I don't even want to think about settling down with someone at this stage. You're looking for 'the one' but you're expecting to find them in the first few relationships you have. What would the chances be? 

Your perspective as a girl will likely be different to mine, but the general sentiment of safely and healthily exploring what's out there is a good one for both male and female, I think.

Personally, I lose attraction to girls who start talking about things really long term early in the relationship. It gives me the something like the 'ick' feeling girls apparently get when they speak to creepy dudes. There's a big difference between a co-companion to support me (and to whom I can offer support) and someone who is going to demand my attention 24/7 and distract me from everything else I want to do in life.

When you say you'll give up everything for a person, there's also a subtle implication that you'd expect the same from them. And to a guy (or at least to me) I'd read that as "she's going to demand my attention 24/7" which ultimately leads to an imbalanced life.

[Preety_India]

@something_else I'm generally not an attention seeker in a relationship but I'm high on commitment in general. I don't like people who say flippant things and don't mean what they say.

I like guys who are serious about commitment. 

I don't need attention.

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India Don't be surprised if this guy dumps you after he gets tired of playing with you. This will not have a happy ending.

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly why ?

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India Because of how invested you are so soon in the relationship. Based on what you stated he told you, he does not see you as a potential long-term relationship. 

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly he does like me and it seems genuine.

 

[Harlen Kelly]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@Harlen Kelly he does like me and it seems genuine.

That does not mean he wants to have a long-term relationship with you. You are just infatuated by him, that infatuation is warping your perspective. 

As I said, this will not have a happy ending.

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

That does not mean he wants to have a long-term relationship with you. You are just infatuated by him, that infatuation is warping your perspective. 

As I said, this will not have a happy ending.

And what would mean that he wants a long term relationship?

What signs ?

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India At least from the perspective of a man, we don't really take seriously the women who get extra needy at the beginning of the relationship.

Men tend to play for a little while with those types of women and dump them afterwards.  

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly I see him as a needy guy.

I like his neediness.

 

[something_else]

33 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@something_else I'm generally not an attention seeker in a relationship but I'm high on commitment in general. I don't like people who say flippant things and don't mean what they say.

I like guys who are serious about commitment. 

I don't need attention.

 

That's good. But my point was to offer a male perspective in terms of how this guy may interpret your actions. From his perspective, he may be thinking that you're going to demand more of his attention than he wishes to give.

From what I can tell, commitment is often a man's bargaining chip in the dating world. Don't expect him to give it up so easily, in the same way you require a lot of criteria to be met before you'll sleep with a guy.

[Preety_India]

Just now, something_else said:

That's good. But my point was to offer a male perspective in terms of how this guy may interpret your actions. From his perspective, he may be thinking that you're going to demand more of his attention than he wishes to give.

From what I can tell, commitment is often a man's bargaining chip in the dating world. Don't expect him to give it up so easily, in the same way you require a lot of criteria to be met before you'll sleep with a guy.

Yep I get that. That makes sense.

 

[Preety_India]

I want to get this one side corrected and then everything will be alright.

 

[Zeroguy]

Can you just be spontaneous without need for "fixing" anything? 

Allowing natural flow of relationship also allowing that guy to feel free too. Maybe he will start showing "better side"? 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Zeroguy said:

Can you just be spontaneous without need for "fixing" anything? 

Allowing natural flow of relationship also allowing that guy to feel free too. Maybe he will start showing "better side"? 

Hmm. You have a good point. I'll try to do that.

I should keep that in mind. 

Thanks zero

 

[Zeroguy]

Honestly with such your behaivor I will myself dump you immediatelly.