He called me stupid

[MatteO22]

@Zeroguy thanks, appreciate it .

[Preety_India]

Stop derailing my thread both of you.

 

[Zeroguy]

It's blatantly obvious that guy reacted to your poor and childish behaivor. Show some class learn to behaive develop yourself and check for yourself will next guy who will have will ever call you stupid. 

Solution to all your stuff:grow up. 

[Preety_India]

@Zeroguy zero please. 

 

 

@Hulia please tell him.

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Zeroguy]

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Zeroguy zero please. 

 

 

Zero what? 

Grow up and for that as guy above said actual self reflection, taking responsability everything that adults do. 

You are grown adult woman not a 17 years old teen. 

Thank you, thank you all. 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Preety_India]

@Zeroguy I don't want to argue with you.

 

[Zeroguy]

Just now, Preety_India said:

@Zeroguy I don't want to argue with you.

 

Why? 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, dflores321 said:

@Preety_India take a mindful approach, recognize how you create the unhealthy dynamics in a relationship. 

Absolutely no one is really innocent in a toxic relationship hate to break it to you, and this is because it takes two people to make a relationship unhealthy. 

Rather than reacting to your love interest, I'd advise to see how your actions lead you to run into a guy who calls you stupid. 

Not mad or trying to hurt your feelings, but bluntness is important to snap you out of this, once you see it your love life will improve. 

I get it.

But I didn't want to hide my feelings.

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Zeroguy said:

Why? 

No idea

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, dflores321 said:

Isnt this what you really want? To heal? Rather than hurting yourself over and over again? 

I didn't get you. 

I think bottling up my feelings about that guy would have hurt me more. It's like a time bomb sitting inside.

I felt telling it the way I felt it was more healing and liberating rather than hurting.

Although I admit it might have appeared childish. 

But then who cares really.  Being my true self matters more to me than presenting myself in a socially suitable way.

I just fear that the guy might have thought I'm being stupid.

I don't wish to sound I'm stupid. I want him to know that I felt a deep trust and commitment to him and I hope he takes it that way.

On the flipside I'm glad that he took it in a mocking way and did not cut me out 

But I probably need to be careful not to scare him away like Leo said.

 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, integral said:

There is about a 100% chance a 3 to 6 month relationship will begin with that guy. It seems you just don't have enough experience. Nothing we say will help. By dating over and over you'll learn to read people and develop realistic dating expectations. 

I like that guy a lot. I'm not sure what will happen.

Till now, he has given me positive signs and he has shown tremendous interest in me.

So I don't want to lose him.

I felt extremely insecure that I might drive him away with my behavior. But he is a bit understanding . So I'm excited.

He doesn't get offended by my childishness. He seems to take it jokingly.

He acts very matured and he has been a high achiever his Life.

He has his shit together and I'm kinda proud of him for that.

I don't have my shit together so I feel a bit nervous and insecure while talking to him.

So far he never offended me even once.

I never met a guy this good 

So I don't want to blow up my chance of being with him.

 

I got hyper excited and emotional with him.

And I hope he doesn't take it the wrong way.

 

[Hulia]

1 hour ago, MatteO22 said:

But that would require the OP to take responsibility for her codependency, manipulative tendencies 

You see everywhere manupulative tendencies, right? Preety tells him, she would do anything for him - manipulation!

I tell her -  take it descretely back - again manipulation! No matter, what we both say or do, you see it as manipulation. A tendency to trace manipultaion in every single gesture tells something about you, Mister!

Further. What does Preety want in a relationship? To make her guy happy.

What do you want? An extention of your wholeness. ? Eh?

Who of you both is unhealthier?????

[Hulia]

45 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

ulia please tell him.

I don´t speak to him. He deleted his part of dialogue in MY tread without asking my permission. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Hulia said:

You see everywhere manupulative tendencies, right? Preety tells him, she would do anything for him - manipulation!

I tell her -  take it descretely back - again manipulation! No matter, what we both say or do, you see it as manipulation. A tendency to trace manipultaion in every single gesture tells something about you, Mister!

Further. What does Preety want in a relationship? To make her guy happy.

What do you want? An extention of your wholeness. ? Eh?

Who of you both is unhealthier?????

Thank you so much

You understand me so well. 

These guys are hell bent on proving that I'm manipulative when all I'm doing is just wanting to make my guy happy 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, dflores321 said:

@Preety_India ?‍♂️. 

Lol we just wanna help you. Blunt honesty is necessary at this point. 

By telling me things that are completely opposite of what I feel ?

I don't think it's called helping.

More like imposing

 

 

[MatteO22]

8 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Preety tells him, she would do anything for him - manipulation!

Yes that’s usually quite manipulative. But that’s not what I was getting at, I think preetys manipulation is way more than that as per what she says and how she tends to act on the forum. 
 

 

8 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I tell her -  take it descretely back - again manipulation! No matter, what we both say or do, you see it as manipulation. A tendency to trace manipultaion in every single gesture tells something about you, Mister!

That is untrue. I didn’t say you’re a manipulator, I said you suggesting ‘make him nervous’ is you suggesting manipulation. I mean… it’s just obvious isn’t it!  Why would anyone pretend it isn’t. Trying to gain a certain outcome indirectly with your actions is manipulation. It’s what it is.

8 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Further. What does Preety want in a relationship? To make her guy happy.

You can’t make anyone happy. If you are trying to make someone happy you’re taking responsibility for their emotional state which will probably lead you down a path of What ? You guessed it! Manipulation ??.  
sure you can be nice and supportive, but that’s far from ‘making happy’. Make happy is what we say when we are being codependent. 

 

8 minutes ago, Hulia said:

What do you want? An extention of your wholeness. ? Eh?

Who of you both is unhealthier?????

An extension of my wholeness is what I’d like a relationship to represent. It’s very far from trying to to enmesh and placate to a partner who may or may not be suited to be a good match. Who’s unhealthier ? Who gives a fuck! ? I dont.  I have nothing to prove. 
 

[Peter Miklis]

@Preety_India Just let the things develop naturally. Let the stones fall where they may. If it doesn't work out, no big deal, I'm pretty sure there will be another guy waiting for you.

But, just to be safe, don't ever say you'd die for a guy. It's not good for you, him or your potential relationship. 

[Preety_India]

19 minutes ago, Hulia said:

You see everywhere manupulative tendencies, right? Preety tells him, she would do anything for him - manipulation!

I tell her -  take it descretely back - again manipulation! No matter, what we both say or do, you see it as manipulation. A tendency to trace manipultaion in every single gesture tells something about you, Mister!

Further. What does Preety want in a relationship? To make her guy happy.

What do you want? An extention of your wholeness. ? Eh?

Who of you both is unhealthier?????

I swear he literally finds a fault in EVERYTHING .

I have never seen someone being so awfully pessimistic about everything a woman says. 

I have never come across a person who vilifies another so vehemently.

He keeps insulting me on every thread , literally every opportunity he finds , he uses it to attack me ruthlessly.

I don't even think this guy is real.

It's like whatever projections he has about me speaks more about him rather than me 

 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Zeroguy]

@Preety_India Do you have meditation habit my dear. 

Curious? 

[Preety_India]

@Zeroguy  I'm not your dear.

 

Yes I meditate. Now ?