How do i fulfill my need to be Special, The Main Character

[Nahm]

@SageModeAustin

Yes. What are some examples of what you’ve seen people doing, having or being, which you want?

[WaveInTheOcean]

Read

https://theenneagramatwork.com/type-4-romantic

http://enneagramschoolofawakening.org/new-blog/2020/3/22/enneagram-type-4

You're welcome.

You could be a type 1 or 3 as well. But this sounds like a type 4 to me. Enneagram is great, really. A key to greater understanding & freedom from old modes of self-survival ?⚖️??️?☀️☯️??

 

Edited June 24, 2021 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

On 20.6.2021 at 6:56 AM, VeganAwake said:

The sense of self never reaches fulfillment, that's its game.

It can be recognized it isn't real though.

 

 

This is such a spiritual bypass post imo ?

Tell me something that is real, show me something that is real. Please, VEGAN! ?? ❤️❤️????????????♾️???️☔?️☀️??

[martins name]

@SageModeAustin The need for being special has two components in my experience. 

First it's the desire to be powerful. Secondly it's egotism. 

You want to cherish the desire to be powerful and you want to infuse that power with love to make it even more profound. If it's not infused with love it becomes egoic. At the same time let go of egotism. Let go of the separate self that you feel in the middle of your head and melt with the beauty of the world. Love is a great gateway to selflessness. Loving surrender. 

I think me and @snowyowl are saying the same thing in essence.

 

[WaveInTheOcean]

On 6/23/2021 at 6:04 AM, Nahm said:

There’s “letting it go” and there’s really Letting It Go / can’t even remember what it was, takes a minute to come to mind, a certain reloading of it into / as the now is experienced.  Once you got that jealousy from others… let the comparative thinking go…it served it’s purpose & was heard / felt… now you know what you want… move up the scale to passion and do / live it.  If it’s to be famous, be famous. If it’s to be really good at something, be really good at something. But do so for you so to speak, just for the direct experience of it, because you love it that much, because it lights you up, illuminates you, sets you on fire. Not for your thoughts about how you’re seen or thought of. That’d be ruminating unproductive busy work of the mind.

Allow what everyone else is doing to be a great well of jealousy… appreciation that they are doing it, resulting in inspiration & passion brought to direct experience. You can pair this with selflessness along the way, and or go full selfish too… all roads lead to unity and servitude, and you don’t even need to know that along the way. 

Top tier reply as always great Nahm ?????

On 6/23/2021 at 5:38 AM, vladorion said:

Would you want to be special if you knew with a 100% certainty that it is not going to give you love, attention, acknowledgement? 

You want to be special because you believe you need to be special to get those things.

Specialness by itself doesn't mean anything.

Now, the image of you that wants to get those things lives in your imagination, so you can give him all he wants in your imagination as well, until he is satisfied.

Also a good one.?

On 6/21/2021 at 6:40 AM, Lilia said:

In Matt Kahn's words: Love the one who wants to be special!

Could it be the case that the one who wants to be special needs more love, not less?

Edit: Even more importantly, love the one who does NOT feel special. It is Your love, God's love that this apparent one is craving.

Beautiful. Matt Kahn is some of the universe's finest juice in town ???

On 6/21/2021 at 3:16 AM, snowyowl said:

Have you been deeply in love? You can be that special, main character to your partner, your parents, your children, even your pets (i don't know which stage of life you're at). Be the best child, parent, partner you can be, that's pretty special. 

?????????

[WaveInTheOcean]

On 20.6.2021 at 10:14 PM, VeganAwake said:

Being selfless is just another attempt of the spiritual ego to try to put itself in a better position in a more sneakier or subtle way.

Pointing out that people, who are trying to be self-less, are actually acting from a place of ego/inadequacy/selfishness, is just another attempt of the spiritual ego to feel superior, one-upmanship, to try to put itself in a better position in a very, very sneaky, subtle way.

Divine Play. You can never not play. Lila. One-upmanship. 

Self-deception 101.

"On the surface level the action will appear as selflessness but deep down it's just the ego attempting to fulfil its endless requirements of needing to feel special."

Yes. But even deeper down still: it's just God playing around with Himself!

(Hide'n'Seek seems to be the favorite game in God-town at the moment.)

Love. Play. Imagination. God. Lila. Consciousness. Eternity. Infinity.

God has nothing better to do than to play infinite kind of games with Herself for eternity.

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

????☯️ ? ?️???♾️

▶️

⏯️

⏸️

▶️

☯️☯️☯️??????

???

???

?????️♾️♾️♾️? ✨

"Liberation has nothing to do with being a better person."

Hah - I don't disagree with this statement. But I don't agree fully either.

( Non-duality, bro ? Balance ???

The golden mean ? ♎ ⚖️ ☯️ ? ? )

You see; notice how you/the ego (maybe) is using this statement to justify continuing subtle forms of 'devilry'.

Still being with a little-toe in Maya.

In a subtle way. 

Not wanting to fully let go of selfishness, devilry. Still wanting to sleep a little longer. Swim a little longer around in ignorance, continuing exploiting, drinking the never-ending wine bottle of life (and of course, simultaneously inflicting pain to self & others: Self (The Self-Less Self)).

It takes immense amounts of Self-suffering to fully wake up. Suffering is the method (the way through) for God to wake Himself up. To become FULLY free of this never-ending circle of suffering (Samsara) is the ONLY carrot God has to motivate Himself to try to wake fully up from Her slumber.

One could say, that if liberation/enlightenment/spirituality/waking up has nothing to do with self-development/-actualization/becoming a better (the best) version of oneself, then what the fuck is the point of it all?

Right?

You see how you -- rather obviously I'd say -- are denying / repressing / suppressing the earthly life & your humanity by saying this? This is spiritual bypassing / spiritual ego in a very sneaky subtle form. You're a real artist, you know ;+).

????????❤️

There is but one rule in life:

Be (fucking) kind.

(And remember to breathe!)

Treat others like you yourself would like to be treated.

"It is more blessed to give than to receive."

"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

"Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap."

Your 'deeds' will *repay* you in 'kind' !

--------------

'It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble,
there lies your treasure.
The very cave you are afraid to enter
turns out to be the source of
what you are looking for. ' - Joseph Campbell

----------------

"I don’t care how spiritual you are. How long you can melt in the sweat lodge. How many peyote or ayahuasca journeys that have blown your mind, how many master plant dietas you’ve done or how well you can hold crow pose. I don’t care what planets fall in what houses on your birth chart, or how “silent” your meditation is. I don’t care how many crystals you have or how long you’ve gone without sugar, salt, spices or sex or how vegan your diet is.

I want to know how human you are. Can you sit at the feet of the dying despite the discomfort? Can you be with your grief, or mine, without trying to advise, fix or maintain it? I want to know that you can show up at the table no matter how shiny, chakra- aligned or complete you are- or not. Can you hold loving space for your beloveds in the depths of your own healing without trying to be big?

It doesn’t flatter me how many online healing trainings you have, that you live in the desert, forest or in a log cabin, or that you’ve mastered the art of tantra.

What turns me on is busy hands. Planting roots. That despite how tired you are, you make that phone call, you board that plane, you love your children, you feed your family.

I have no interest in how well you can ascend to 5D, astral travel or have out of body sex. I want to see how beautifully you integrate into ordinary reality with your unique magic, how you find beauty and gratitude in what’s surrounding you, and how present you can be in your relationships. How do you hold the ones you love in the midst of conflict? How do you take responsibility for your part? How do you make amends?

I want to know that you can show up and do the hard and holy things on this gorgeously messy Earth. I want to see that you can be sincere, grounded and compassionate as equally as you are empowered, fiery and magnetic. I want to know that even during your achievements, you can step back and be humble enough to still be a student.

What’s beautiful and sexy and authentic is how well you can continue to celebrate others no matter how advanced you’ve become. What’s truly flattering is how much you can give despite how full you’ve made yourself. What’s honestly valuable is how f***ing better of a human you can be, in a world that is high off of spiritual materialism and jumping the next escape goat for “freedom.”

At the end of the day I don’t care how brave you are. How productive, how popular, how enlightened you are. At the end of the day, I want to know that you were kind. That you were real. I want to know that you can step down from the pedestal from time to time to kiss the earth and let your hair get dirty and your feet get muddy, and join the dance with us all."

- A modern day call to shifting from spiritual consumerism to returning to human kind… heart inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s, The Invitation, by Taylor Rose Godfrey.

-----------

"Looking at a sunset, just for a second you forget your separateness: you are the sunset. That is the moment when you feel the beauty of it. But the moment you say that it is a beautiful sunset, you are no longer feeling it; you have come back to your separate, enclosed entity of the ego. Now the mind is speaking.

And this is one of the mysteries, that the mind can speak, and knows nothing; and the heart knows everything, and cannot speak.

Perhaps to know too much makes it difficult to speak; the mind knows so little, it is possible for it to speak..."

- Osho 

Love ya! ❤️

Edited June 24, 2021 by WaveInTheOcean

[WaveInTheOcean]

[WaveInTheOcean]

Breathe. Just breathe.

Between selfishness and selflessness
there is a place. 
We will meet.
Between hate and love
there is a place.
I call it Love.
Breathe.
Just breathe.

[Dodo]

On 20/06/2021 at 2:50 AM, SageModeAustin said:

this is the core of my jealousy. its a need i want on a fundamental level, but i don't know if this is fulfillable. i also dont know if i can transcend this because its such a  deep core need/want of mine ever since i was a child i remember wanting to be famous and really good at something. i notice it affecting my relationship in subtle ways. 

Edit: the answer it to be self-less. All of the MC's in any game, story, book, movie share this quality

I second this, but also what if this is not a game/story/book/movie and it is reality? Why do we strive to be an ideal book character if we are real humans? But then I see others are sometimes so elaborately placed that they cant just be humans... And if they were all like me, they would be doing different things, they wouldnt be so amazing and working so well together... I feel different to everyone else, like they are part of some higher collective and I am a traitor or something 

I have these experiences recently where I get flashes and signs from the higher power/universe/god/ and it tells me differen things!

At one point it wants me to strive for an ideal, for infinite love, for an impossible standard, then it tells me NO, slow down, why are you just listening to what others say, you have a head of your own, use it! Then it makes the characters more assertive and I follow their words, but then I see something written on the contrary - and I don't know is God speaking through the human or through the signs on the walls and shirts and colours... Is he speaking through the numbers, through the songs, through my thoughts... Then I overhear someone say "Balance"..

Then I see someone doing something bad and I dont know if he is the good guy or the bad guy, since "the days are evil" and "the eyes are deceiving you" . Everything flips, I am in an impossible game! Then when I think im in a game, it turns to "reality" again. THERE IS NO END TO THIS. And if I stop the bad guy - oh you little rat! I dont want the divine masculine to be after me! But if I dont help the female I am not following LOVE, the divine Feminine is disappointed ...

I need to trust God, have faith in God, then I need to work, then they say "you receive the spirit by faith, not by work" what theeeee! 

 

They all appear to give me different input! This place is insane

Edited June 24, 2021 by Dodo

[Nos7algiK]

[Dodo]

Help I also want to know how can I not feel desire for females. I have had an "epiphany" that I am a man whore and I need to respect women, but I just can't stop myself looking sometimes. I am weak , give me strength. Then when I try to not look at women reality make quickly sure to show me that I am not being my authentic self.. Like WTF you just told me I am a manwhore and need to respect females -.-

Sometimes I feel like I am being toyed with by higher beings. And im scared of people who are smiling and warm to me  now, because it feels like they are luring me in, But I am also scared of rude and forceful people... I need to find my people!! Where are the silent guys and gals - Where are the MEs...? Everyone around me is talking as if they are computers and know everything, without gaps between their speech!!

Edited June 24, 2021 by Dodo

[SageModeAustin]

I read half of it, but I don't have time right now to read the rest. I just wanted to respond. I want to be like Luffy from one piece. He is self-less in ways, he is willing to die for what he loves (his friends) and his dream of becoming the pirate king. He does not care about fame, status or money. He does not care about the status quo, he questions even the highest of kings just because he's truly authentic and follows his intuition completely 24/7. He inspires all of those around him that he meets. He has great adventures, great relationships, great sense of self, enjoys to party, enjoys food. He is a light to this dark world, he is like a child with the pain tolerance and determination of a God. Yet, he is completely innocent at the core with no "ego" in the practical egoic sense. He is light-headed and just does what he wants like a child enjoying life to the fullest. He is naturally aligned with truth and therefore benefits the world even to those he defeats in battle. He is extremely intelligent, extremely intuitive, aligned with the universe in an inspiring intuitive way. I want to be the equivalent of this in real life because it seems the most fun/freedom/meaningful life. To be self-less like this and to enjoy life while doing it, whilst also inspiring others around me is epic

[Breakingthewall]

what you're talking about is the ego movie. You can try to make it a wonderful movie, where you are the best friend, the best father, the best professional, a hero to the world ... it is the same, it is all a mirage. totally unreal. empty. imagine living the rest of your life in a cave without interacting with anyone, in total silence, immobile. what would you think? a nightmare? it seems to the ego.

any need to do something, to be something for someone, is ego. the problem here is that the ego is not real, it is a scam. It promises you fullness but then it deflates, and you can see that all that movie was just imagination, a total madness. the question is whether you want to run to the beat of the ego like the rat in the wheel, or take a step back and be stunned by the emptiness of the scam, and rest in the present without further pretense. It's the only real thing

Edited June 25, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[Lilia]

On 22/06/2021 at 1:01 PM, SageModeAustin said:

self-less doesn't mean not loving yourself

Absolutely agree. Selflessness and love for yourself go hand in hand. Know thyself and love thyself - because there is no one other than thyself! 

[Lilia]

As Consciousness, we get fascinated by the concepts invented. There comes a moment when the distinction "special" is created. Now it's time to bend over backwards to embody whatever the distinction entails!

Just like you, I've also struggled with this concept. In my experience, a breakthrough occurred when I realised that I created the concept rather than learnt it. I saw it was empty, and uncreated the term. 

Although the mental component has almost dissolved, associated bodily sensations may linger. It's like with any addiction. Time will burn the remaining momentum, and it's OK. 

[SageModeAustin]

@Breakingthewall yeah that's true if you want it to be. It's what you believe so that's you're movie 

Edited June 25, 2021 by SageModeAustin