What is appealing about having children?

[snowyowl]

Wanting children is life seeking life, love seeking love, at least in human form. Since I became a dad I've also become much more part of the community; it takes a village to raise a child.  

It's like the regular way to experience connection and dissolve the individual ego into something larger. Fall in love and become a couple. Have kids and become a family, be part of the community, see myself as just one stage of the ongoing cycle of the generations. Kinda makes me feel complete to know I can hand over to the next generation, I don't need to cling on when this work's done. 

There's other perfectly valid lifestyle choices too, other ways to be connected to the web of life, but family is a spiritual practice in itself. 

Edited June 20, 2021 by snowyowl

[Insane butterfly]

@Bob Seeker

Put in your arms a 5 minutes old human being and you will understand what creation means! 

[Thought Art]

I want children

[Breakingthewall]

because it is beautiful, it is life, love, giving, generosity

[Moksha]

Children will test you, stretch you, strengthen you, deepen you, and bring you closer to the unconditional love that is your ultimate nature.

I had brunch with my son today. He recently turned 21, and enjoyed his first mimosa. My daughter is at university; we also talked, and sincerely said, "I love you."

Want to live lucidly? Embrace the challenges and joys of life, and children are one of the greatest gifts in that regard.

[Bob Seeker]

1 hour ago, Moksha said:

and sincerely said, "I love you."

Nice! I'm sure my poor relationship with my father affects my thinking in this area.

[Neo]

Speaking as a male who had children very late in life but had a strong paternal instinct through out my life including "anxiety" that time was running out (to do so with my partner), I can honestly say that trying to figure out "why" is a bit like asking why someone loves someone or why one believes in god or why someone is gay as an example. You're not going to find someone comes up with a cost / benefit analysis of an answer, or any pure logic.

[mandyjw]

 I love living in a world where people love and want to do vastly different things with their lives. 

If everyone loved being alone in nature all the time, no one would be alone in nature ever. 

[Rajneeshpuram]

On 20/6/2021 at 9:06 AM, kai0 said:

also children generally look after their aging parents when there old

Generally they'll abandon their parents in nursing homes like a useless object.

[Aaron p]

My friend says having children is a good way to have immediate purpose if your hopeless at finding alternative purpose

Edited June 24, 2021 by Aaron p

[WaveInTheOcean]

It's beautiful and absolute divine magic in its most intense form to create an other human being, isn't it? 

I suppose you don't see the purpose of it right now, cos you're a man with a somewhat pessimistic outlook on the human society/condition; and that you yourself don't feel whole and complete (yet).

Dude, it's a proces. You will get there. You are already divine and whole; you just need to first feel captured to later feel free. You "just" need to drop your mind/ego. Have faith. ❤️????️☀️?????

The only way to love fully is through 'losing' ones mind.

Paradox of life. ? Obvious to God.

Edited June 24, 2021 by WaveInTheOcean

[Andrew John]

On 20/06/2021 at 0:42 AM, Bob Seeker said:

I honestly don’t understand this. I don’t see that I have an urge to have children, so I’m wondering what about it makes other people who are beyond blindly following norms want to have children. What makes you want to sacrifice so much for that?

If you met the right person (presuming you’re heterosexual) and we’re deeply in love, you probably wouldn’t need to ask that question.

[kai0]

On 23/06/2021 at 9:45 PM, Rajneeshpuram said:

Generally they'll abandon their parents in nursing homes like a useless object.

dont know about that, perhaps it depends on how well they were raised

[Blackhawk]

On 2021-06-24 at 0:59 PM, Aaron p said:

My friend says having children is a good way to have immediate purpose if your hopeless at finding alternative purpose

Wtf..

It's a conscious human being which you are putting into existence.

Do NOT do it because you think it will make you more happy.

ONLY do it if you truly think that he/she will be happy and be glad to be alive.

Don't think "what will it give me?"

Instead, think: "what will it give the person? Can I guarantee that he/she will get a happy life?"

And btw, the answer to the last question is no. Therefore it is wrong to get children.

Edited June 25, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Moksha]

22 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Can I guarantee that he/she will get a happy life?"

And btw, the answer to the last question is no. Therefore it is wrong to get children.

By that reasoning, the entire human species would go extinct. 

Life is a roller coaster, with inevitable ups and downs. Expecting perpetual happiness, for yourself or for your children, is the surest way to guarantee unhappiness. Enlightenment eliminates suffering, but you still come into the world bloody and screaming, and death stalks every step until it takes you.

Accepting the uncertainty, unpredictability, and transience of life is the secret to living lucidly, and realizing your ultimate nature, which is beyond happiness in the human form.

[Blackhawk]

5 minutes ago, Moksha said:

By that reasoning, the entire human species would go extinct. 

Life is a roller coaster, with inevitable ups and downs. Expecting perpetual happiness, for yourself or for your children, is the surest way to guarantee unhappiness. Enlightenment eliminates suffering, but you still come into the world bloody and screaming, and death stalks every step until it takes you.

Accepting the uncertainty, unpredictability, and transience of life is the secret to living lucidly, and realizing your ultimate nature, which is beyond happiness in the human form.

Yes, the entire human species should go extinct.

No life isn't a roller coaster, life is a constant downward descent.

[Blackhawk]

22 minutes ago, Moksha said:

By that reasoning, the entire human species would go extinct. 

Life is a roller coaster, with inevitable ups and downs. Expecting perpetual happiness, for yourself or for your children, is the surest way to guarantee unhappiness. Enlightenment eliminates suffering, but you still come into the world bloody and screaming, and death stalks every step until it takes you.

Accepting the uncertainty, unpredictability, and transience of life is the secret to living lucidly, and realizing your ultimate nature, which is beyond happiness in the human form.

 

15 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Yes, the entire human species should go extinct.

No life isn't a roller coaster, life is a constant downward descent.

You can't truly die anyway. So why cling to this shitty life on earth? Might as well try something else.

I wont write more about this..

Edited June 26, 2021 by Blackhawk

[snowyowl]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

 

You can't truly die anyway. So why cling to this shitty life on earth? Might as well try something else.

I don't get your logic sorry, maybe my ignorance.  If we don't die, then where else can we go? There's only life as a singularity. Not someone who lives lives, inside the body so to speak, who can move around inside different forms. 

[Blackhawk]

8 minutes ago, snowyowl said:

I don't get your logic sorry, maybe my ignorance.  If we don't die, then where else can we go? There's only life as a singularity. Not someone who lives lives, inside the body so to speak, who can move around inside different forms. 

I believe that the impersonal, attributeless, formless witness Consciousness "moves around inside different forms."

Edited June 26, 2021 by Blackhawk

[snowyowl]

@Blackhawk  The notion I'm contemplating at the moment is more like 'form is consciousness and consciousness is form'. The human form seems to be the most far-out in the sense of pretending to be separate and your experience of life is that it's tough so ofc your perspective is valid that you don't want to perpetuate suffering. 

Interesting isn't it that it's generally poorer people and countries which have higher birth rates; when they develop economically, women get decent careers etc, that the birth rate drops.