Practical Advice needed. Feeling lost and unproductive.

[PhilGR]

Hi everyone,

So I'm 19, and I'm watching Leo's videos since 16. It changed me as a person I can say , my perspective and everything, and Im so grateful that I am growing up with an open-mind and as a "more" conscious person than the typical teen. Till I graduate highschool I was a Preformance-Swimmer in Greece, lots of trainning , hard working at school etc.( although I always had problem with procrastination). Now I moved in Netherlands and study my passion Food Science in one of the greenest and most progressive Universities in the world. Wageningen UR. So from swimmer I went to a full time student, matured by living alone, trying psychedelics, met tons of inspiring ppl but also started some bad habits like habitually smoking weed, and stopped exercising . This year was life transforming from all perspectives. The problem is that I was lost in my thoughts for a big part and judging myself a lot for not being very productive in uni work. But also I felt very disconnected with ppl, I feel no one can understand me , my problems and my thoughts. Everybody has their own agenda you know... ( and yes Im pretty social). I even thought of starting writing a book in order to express myself and maybe touch some ppl that feel the same and give my perspective to the world.

The main questions are

How I fight unproductivity to the root, achieve real passion for my studies? I feel Im interested in tons of things and not focusing on food science.

How I stop being on the phone and instead build healthy habits?

Why am worrying so much that I don't connect with ppl as friends or with my partners?

Am I to young for self-actualization?

Careful , I've done big research on unproductivity through Leo, others , my therapist and a student trainining cosultant.

But still the problem is there , and that disappoints me the most. I can't trust myself anymore.

I hope someone in this forum can give me his/her personal  experience and inspire me to grow this summer and see finally a radical change.

Thanks to whoever puts the effort, peace and love.

 

 

[yetineti]

We are in a very similar spot.

Stop being lazy. 
Stop smoking weed for every occasion.

Stop worrying about others.

Do not stop caring for other.

Stop worrying about others.

Get off your fucking phone. Buy a timed lock box if you need to (this works for weed as well).

No you’re not to young to self actualize, that’s stupid, the younger the better.

If you’re thinking about how to do something, you’re not doing it.

[K VIL2]

4 hours ago, PhilGR said:

Am I to young for self-actualization?

lol.. dude, you'll be 22 and asking "am i too old now?"

If I interpret your question differently, reading that from wisdom, you might be onto something.

You could be too young to be *fully* self-actualized. That means you don't know left from right. If you want to change that, go into things with more skepticism. Do you really understand what Leo is saying? to what extent? you want to ignite that youthful probing and shift gears from passive to engaged.  Engagement is finding out for yourself. Observe yourself more closely. Beyond talking points. Until you are truly confused.

Throw away everything.

That's what comes to mind when i read your post.

 

[what doing]

I had a similar time in uni, its hard to focus on one thing these days with everything at our fingertips, but the fewer things you focus on at a time the more you'll get out of them. I wasted a lot of time down a lot of rabbit holes. There's no rush, everything in its time, try your best to give yourself fully to whats in front of you.

The energy of smoking weed is really ungrounding and demotivating. Eliminating this habit alone will allow a lot to fall into place. Get yourself some THC oil and have a weed day every once and a while. Ingestion is the way it is meant to be taken, it will take all day and you won't want to do it again for a while. Spend the day alone and in nature as best you can, limiting consumption of outside entertainment/info. 

Don't beat yourself up about productivity, this only further exacerbates the schism in your mind and fuels procrastination in my experience. Allow yourself time to be with yourself and appreciate the productivity in that. 

All the best.

[asifarahim]

Try sedona method ,visualisation and awarenesss to fight procastination.its in leos video.

The better university u go the more stress u get. I say u sonehow finish that fucking university get out , then invest 15 years on yourself on a field u like with your own pace in your own terms

[PhilGR]

Thank you all for your nice thoughts. I really appreciate that some ppl understood and put the effort to help my lost mind from the void.

 

However wants to add something please go ahead.

[PepperBlossoms]

I find that my attention goes to what is stimulating.  Things on the internet, smoking weed, and swimming can be a lot more stimulating than studying.

Depending on how the college class is taught, it could be that it is super unstimulating - especially the lecture ones where you have to read the book and memorize parts of it for a test.

School can be unstimulating, work can be unstimulating, sometimes social interactions can be too.

It is sad how society pushes us to focus on one thing for a career for our entire lives - we can do it only for so long and then some of us get burnt out and need breaks - like me

I feel disconnected from like 99% of people so you are not alone.  I guess when you say you don't connect, ask - what about it is not connecting?

Writing stuff down can help with coping and processing so if writing it in the form of a book is something you want to try - I say go for it.

Can think more about the degree/classes you are doing and ask about how that will help you with where you are trying to go (but who really knows?)

life is not perfect and we will just die anyway so it is okay to have some imperfect stuff

good luck mate

[PhilGR]

@PepperBlossoms Thanks for you answer, it was honest and compassionate. I knew that this forum could help unlike my friends and family cycle.

[Nahm]

23 hours ago, PhilGR said:

But still the problem is there , and that disappoints me the most. I can't trust myself anymore.

No self, no problem. That ‘self’ is just the thoughts. Learn to spot em, see through em, and you learn to trust in yourself. 

[PhilGR]

@Nahm This is achieved through meditation and awareness  right? 

[PhilGR]

I was also thinking that maybe I have to start with Tony Robbins style self-help, would that help?

 

[Nahm]

@PhilGR

Colloquially speaking, yes… but scrutinizing the ‘inner world’ a bit more, no. That ‘this is achieved’ implies this is not already the case, the actuality, or truth of the situation if you will. It implies there is a future which you are not right now, creating… a future in which you will feel better upon ‘achieving something’. Notice, feeling is never in a future, but is ever present always, now. 

As an example…

“Feeling lost and unproductive.”…

If you were to employ, use, the emotional scale… you find that lost & unproductive are not emotions, but are self referential thoughts. That is, they are thoughts, about ‘you’. These thoughts ‘loop’. They arise again & again, you might say, ‘looking for truth’, ‘seeking to be resolved’ somehow. The resolve is found in feeling… and the carousel of self referential thoughts goes round & round until this is willfully acknowledged, usually as the result of ‘I’ve had enough of this suffering’, or, ‘I’m done being stuck, the desire to create the life I want is too strong to bear resisting anymore’. 

These self referential thoughts are the activity of, the appearing of, awareness. So yes, definitely meditation is the way, as meditation is fundamentally deep relaxation of the body mind, and the quieting, or settling, of the very activity of awareness, which is veiling itself, by being thoughts that it is someone, or, other than awareness. 

Through the emotional scale lens… instead of ‘I’m lost & unproductive’ (thoughts about a ‘you’)… ‘I’m experiencing…the emotion of… discouragement’. Now the experience is no longer turned away from, or veiled by self referential thought, and is instead honored, acknowledged, and feeling is invited to the party. 

There is likely a solid reason you feel discouraged. Maybe something that happened, or something you said or did, or someone else said or did, that ‘stuck’, or, is hanging around in your vibration. In expressing blame, you release the ‘stuck ness’, because instead of focusing on thoughts which are energetically oriented inward, about a ‘yourself’… a shift is felt to outward, or, your experience. 

Then things start to make sense at the deeper level of feeling, deeper than the thoughts carousel. Insight arises… when I think this way about myself, I blame, and it doesn’t feel so great, and that leads to worrying about the future. When I worry, I find I doubt myself, I doubt how my future will go, I doubt what I’m capable of, what I can create, and I feel the discord of this, and indeed, it is disappointing. The more I focus as such, the more overwhelmed I end up. Something’s got to change - it’s too frustrating, and I’ve had about enough of the irritation and impatience. 

When I experience those emotions… I find I end up experiencing pessimism, discordant outlooks on my life. Paradoxically, I got the energy, I feel the desire… but I actually end up experiencing the emotion of boredom. 

What to do?

Analogously, we are like rockets. We have dreams within us, and we want to fly high and realize these dreams. The chief desire is to create. To experience, to realize preferences, and then to experience those preferences ‘in the flesh’. The unfettered rocket, free of the resistance of self referential thoughts - is pure joy. 

Again, what to do?

Counterintuitively - no ‘doing’ will help… yet. First, as a rocket of desire, if you will - the dead weight must be dropped. The discordant thoughts and beliefs in terms of identity, ‘thoughts about myself’, can be let go as the flotsam & jetsam of living, of experiencing what you don’t want and what you do want - so that more of what you do want is focused on, and as such, manifests. To ‘drop the baggage’ is to drop the conditions. The perspectives held which are preventative to being - to feeling - the peace of now, of this moment, just as it is. This is ‘getting out of one’s own way’, by letting go, grounding, relaxing, centering, being here & now, presence. 

Without the dead weight of the baggage previously carried, you feel better. This goodness of feeling is the source of all that is. It’s quite literally appearing as the whole of experience, as ‘reality’. And when you’re connected, feeling the power of source within you, outlook changes, in the sense, perspectives align with this goodness, and you get pretty optimistic pretty quick. It becomes easier to drop what you want to drop, and focus on what you desire. Consider a hamburger & fries, and relativity. If one is feeling down, the chemically engineered short term pick me up feels relatively good. But if you’re already feeling the goodness - the last thing you want is the lethargy of a hamburger & fries. Hell no. Nothing ‘tastes’ better than clarity & the intrinsic inspiration of it. 

This goodness is enthusiasm, eagerness, happiness… this goodness is the creator, ‘who’ came to create! You came to create - that’s the whole idea, the whole point. 

This inevitably leads to discovering more unique talents, desires, abilities - life purpose. LP is very connective. Deep profound realizations ensue as to how you fit into the whole of us, how we really need you to discover this goodness & bring the very best of you into this place. It’s like a reality size puzzle which just isn’t the same without you on the path & creating, being the creator you truly are. At this point you’re tapping the grail, you’ve lit the fire of truth within you, passion. 

From there is basically a joyfest, a celebration of creation, as creation, for creation, for that goodness, of that goodness, as the goodness that is. Freedom. Love. Empowerment. 

It’s all within you, and we want it. World needs this love within you. Every bit you can muster. 

Paradigms flip in previously unimaginable ways. ‘Nobody understands me’… psh, that is a joy - my source understands me. My source loves the bejesus outta me, who cares about ‘understanding’ & being understood - they have source too. They can understand that, and you can live the joy of knowing this, and contributing to this. We can’t write enough book about that - it’s the ‘daily bread’. 

How do I fight unproductivity? I don’t create it in my mind. I don’t adorn the lens. I don’t abide there. I haven’t focused on self referential thoughts in so long… and I know & feel the guidance of emotions so profoundly…that so much momentum is at play, that I don’t even honestly remember what it feels like to focus on that. (Not me per se, speaking hypothetically here, but make of it what you will?).

Understanding & connecting with people…psh… understanding we have a source, connecting with that - we understand & connect with each other just fine. 

[PhilGR]

@Nahm damn. Really thanks a lot

[Nahm]

@PhilGR

TLDR:  Just ‘do the roar’.