My Math teacher

[sda]

Hi,

Since my previous journal was deleted due to a bug on the forum. I decided to make this journal again. 
When I was in grade 6, my Math teacher physically and emotionally abused me which left me in a severe state of trauma and dysfunction. So now I met with my Math teacher 6 years later and we had a short dialogue in the youtube comment section. I edited and deleted some of my comments due to personal reasons.

I decided to make a journal about it because it heals me and I want to remember my Math teacher words. 

 

 

 

Edited June 17, 2021 by sda

[sda]

Today, I had a conversation with one of my Math teacher current student in the youtube comments section. I thought I would post it here because it helps me to heal:

 

Edited June 20, 2021 by sda

[sda]

I provided feedback to my Math teacher in one of his videos. He deleted my feedback however it seems like he forgot to delete his comment. So I will jounal it here so that it can get remembered.

 

Edited June 23, 2021 by sda

[sda]

Today, I lost the support of my Math teacher current student. He left supporting me on my quest to talk to my Math teacher, which is all what I want, after replying me the below:

 

[sda]

If I can just talk to my Math teacher then I will no longer be traumatized.

Edited June 25, 2021 by sda

[sda]

Today, My Math teacher current studen reached out to me and gave me his facebook account name. I hope I can contact him my Math teacher from facebook to heal me:

[sda]

[sda]

Some of my chat with him today on facebook:

 

Then he blocked me

Edited June 26, 2021 by sda

[sda]

Throughout the day, I have been messaging my Math teacher multiple times to get in touch with him. However each time I message him with a new facebook account, he blocks me. 

[sda]

My friend message to me in regards to my Math teacher. I posted it here because my friend powerful words help me to heal a lot.

[sda]

My chat with the school in which my Math teacher teaches:

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by sda

[sda]

I have decided to stop doing lesser jihad which is stalking and creating evil to my Math teacher thus began to do greater jihad which is fighting my own ego. This is the end of my this journal. 

Edited July 8, 2021 by sda

[Emerald]

On 6/25/2021 at 0:20 AM, sda said:

If I can just talk to my Math teacher then I will no longer be traumatized.

The key to healing from trauma doesn’t exist within the person who traumatized you. He has no power over you in that way.

Trauma is something that exists within your mind/body system, and it can only be healed from within the mind/body system.

Just like, if someone cut you with a knife, you don’t need the knife’s compliance to heal from the cut. 

[Emerald]

It is a shame that the other staff members’ perspectives are that beating is valuable to do.

In fact, there has been studies done where it was found that spanking (which I’m sure is much lighter than the beatings the students have received) is ineffective at managing discipline at best and traumatic and counterproductive at worst.

That said, societies change slowly. In another generation or so, there will probably reforms. 

Mind you, most Southern schools in America technically still allow corporal punishment with parental consent. But it wouldn’t be used by anyone who didn’t want to be on the news for child abuse.

I’m sorry that you’ve gone through this.

But the best advice I can give you is that your ex-teacher needn’t play any role in your healing process. He has no power over your healing. 

[sda]

@Emerald Thanks for the advice.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, sda said:

@Emerald Thanks for the advice.

You’re welcome 

[Loving Radiance]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

In fact, there has been studies done where it was found that spanking (which I’m sure is much lighter than the beatings the students have received) is ineffective at managing discipline at best and traumatic and counterproductive at worst.

 @sda Here is a quote from The Road Less Traveled by the psychiatrist M. Scott Peck which deals with physical abuse in an attempt to teach discipline.

Quote

The Sins of the Father

It is not that the homes of these unself-disciplined children are lacking in parental discipline of a sort. More often than not these children are punished frequently and severely throughout their childhood—slapped, punched, kicked, beaten and whipped by their parents for even minor infractions. But this discipline is meaningless. Because it is undisciplined discipline.

One reason that it is meaningless, is that the parents themselves are unself-disciplined, and therefore serve as undisciplined role models for their children. They are the “Do as I say, not as I do” parents. They may frequently get drunk in front of their children. They may fight with each other infront of the children without restraint, dignity or rationality. They may be slovenly. They make promises they don’t keep. Their own lives are frequently and obviously in disorder and disarray, and their attempts to order the lives of their children seem therefore to make little sense to these children. If father beats up mother regularly, what sense does it make to a boy when his mother beats him up because he beat up his sister? Does it make sense when he’s told that he must learn to control his temper?

Since we do not have the benefit of comparison when we are young, our parents are godlike figures to our childish eyes. When parents do things a certain way, it seems to the young child the way to do them, the way they should be done. If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline, restraint, dignity and a capacity to order their own lives, then the child will come to feel in the deepest fibers of his being that this is the way to live. If a child sees his parents day in and day out living without self-restraint or self-discipline, then he will come in the deepest fibers of being to believe that that is the way to live.

Yet even more important than role modeling is love. For even in chaotic and disordered homes genuine love is occasionally present, and from such homes may come self-disciplined children. And not infrequently parents who are professional people—doctors, lawyers, club women and philanthropists—who lead lives of strict orderliness and decorum but yet lack love, send children into the world who are as undisciplined and destructive and disorganized as any child from an impoverished and chaotic home.

It is classic stage blue dogma that beatings are good because they are ingrained in the culture which is heavily influenced by Islam in your case.

[sda]

[sda]

11 hours ago, Loving Radiance said:

 @sda Here is a quote from The Road Less Traveled by the psychiatrist M. Scott Peck which deals with physical abuse in an attempt to teach discipline.

It is classic stage blue dogma that beatings are good because they are ingrained in the culture which is heavily influenced by Islam in your case.

I already read The Road Less Travelled by Scott Peck.  I will reread the section II of it again which is about love in order to get a refresher. 

[sda]

My grade 6 school:

 

Edited August 2, 2021 by sda