Do women hate certain men?

[Javfly33]

I've been told by users in this forum that women "despise and hate beta-doormat men". Is this true or is it a belief?

If right now my behaviour is that of a "beta" I don't think I should hate myself for it. I think I should accept it and try to change to be a confident guy. 

But I get the impression that some people in this forum try to say that I should hate myself from for it??¿¿

Am I fundamentally unattractive and hated by women ? 

I must confess before some users telling me that, I already had this belief of being hated and despised by women 

Honestly I don't know if this belief it's a side effect of my main social anxiety or that my social anxiety arised from this belief. It's probably the first but anyways...just to give you guys some context

 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Javfly33

[Roy]

People need to drop the whole "Alpha/Beta" lingo and frame/understand things in a healthier way. Those terms might be useful to a complete newbie but should be discarded pretty quickly. People are more dynamic and layered than, "He is just a beta-male. While this guy is clearly an Alpha!" It can slow down so much progress if you're neurotically tethered to fulfilling simple childish archetypes.

Center your focus on working to fix specific issues you might have. Don't get distracted by labels and narratives.

Just now, Javfly33 said:

Am I fundamentally unattractive and hated by women?

If you really want to believe that, then yes it can be "true".

Luckily for you, you don't have to.

[RendHeaven]

bruh

[Shin]

Dysfunctional women might hate you, but regular women just won't find you attractive, you'd still be able to be friends with 95% of women (just not their lover/partner/boyfriend).

Edited June 16, 2021 by Shin

[Javfly33]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

Dysfunctional women might hate you, but regular women just won't find you attractive, you'd still be able to be friends with 95% of women (just not their lover/partner/boyfriend).

And they don't find me attractive because ....

A) I'm fundamentally unattractive from being born

Or...

B) I'm behaving in a way that is not a attractive, and I can change that because it's all an act ? (And therefore be attractive)

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

And they don't find me attractive because ....

A) I'm fundamentally unattractive from being born

Or...

B) I'm behaving in a way that is not a attractive, and I can change that because it's all an act ? (And therefore be attractive)

It's definitely B.

I don't know what you mean by "it's all an act", but if you're unattractive now it's because you think (consciously and unconsciously) a certain way, which shapes how you speak, move, feel, and what you do and don't do.

There is very specific things that make a man a healthy and attractive man, and a woman a healthy and attractive woman (even though sexual attraction is way more straightforward for a man).

You just need to know what those are, and embody what you lack about your masculinity (but also your feminine side).

Everybody can do that

Edited June 16, 2021 by Shin

[Peter Miklis]

@Javfly33 What do you want to achieve by making this topic? The way you framed it, we can either:

a) agree that you are fundamentally unnatractive, therefore you should just wallow in self pitty,

b) agree that you being unatractive is simply due to your behavour, and that you can change your situation.

But either way, what's that gonna help? Who cares what some members of the forum think? They mean nothing to your real life experience. So, what you should do is just go out, be social and try to make yourself attractive. Even if it doesn't work out, it's still better than asking meaningless questions to a bunch of strangers who don't know your exact situation.

[Javfly33]

30 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

@Javfly33 What do you want to achieve by making this topic? The way you framed it, we can either:

a) agree that you are fundamentally unnatractive, therefore you should just wallow in self pitty,

b) agree that you being unatractive is simply due to your behavour, and that you can change your situation.

But either way, what's that gonna help? Who cares what some members of the forum think? They mean nothing to your real life experience. So, what you should do is just go out, be social and try to make yourself attractive. Even if it doesn't work out, it's still better than asking meaningless questions to a bunch of strangers who don't know your exact situation.

Definitely B.

I know I project my authority.

But it's all part of getting out of the trip.

The trip = social anxiety/self hate etc.

@Shin thank bro

[Preety_India]

Hate is not the word. It's lack of attraction 

 

Labels are labels whether you are like them or not. 

But labels convey an idea or expression. 

Alpha is a personality that gets things going and takes charge of a situation and most women are attracted to alpha types. Beta however tend to have a passive personality that gets easily dominated and doesn't take charge of a situation or is escapist. Women are not naturally attracted to beta types unless they themselves are a bit dominating which is generally rare. 

You can't box yourself into these categories or labels but try to observe your behavior and see if it's attractive or not. Alpha or beta is not so much about who a person is but it's whether your behavior appears alpha to women or if your behavior is too passive and appears more beta to them. You can easily change your behavior around women to the type that fits their ideal attraction. This is no big deal. This is all about self growth. 

If guys like  women who have long hair, would I sit and complain that my hair is short or would I change my hair style to suit what is generally found attractive? 

Being bitter about it is not the right mindset. It's like asking for sympathy. Don't be in that mode where someone has to tell you that you are attractive simply to make you happy, it stops you from changing things about yourself that might actually help you in dating. If you fundamentally believe that your behavior is unattractive then Read what females find attractive and try to integrate those behaviors in to your personality. Don't take this as an offense. It's feedback on what you can do better to attract women if that's your goal. Yes women are attracted to alpha and this is a fact that the universe cannot change it, nor can this forum. If people told you otherwise, then that's a lie to make you feel better. It's a straight fact that you can verify in the outside world. Most women will choose beta if they are either desperate or if they are single mothers or having yet discovered what truly attracts them. 

I am not going to sugarcoat things for you. If you're looking for a lie, then go look for it. 

I personally like a hot headed alpha with a tinge of beta. Most women tell me that they like alpha. 

Don't be attached to the labels rather look into what they generally convey. 

 

Edited June 16, 2021 by Preety_India

[ivankiss]

I was gonna stay out of these discussions on the forum, but earlier I had a conversation with a coworker that kinda shook me up a bit. 

She's a pretty attractive woman in her early 30s. She gets quite a lot of attention. And a lot of filthy, inappropriate and disgusting comments and suggestions, as well. I just found out that our boss (45ish) has been sexually harassing her non stop. Through text and in person at work. Apparently he has been offering her a deal. She fucks him a few days a week in a hotel and he treats her, pays for nice shit, etc. You get the point.

I was kinda shocked. Not so much by the fact that my boss is a pig, but by the energy she was transmitting while she spoke of the issue. She was raging. She was basically yelling in my face while she was describing what was going on all this time. I could tell she was fed up. Like, done with that kind of shit. I'm sure this was not the first time she experienced harassment. And the girl simply had enough. I can tell she has very strong boundaries. And also knows how to defend herself if someone crosses the line. That's something you learn through years of dealing with disgusting pigs.

So there's that. I guess I just needed to get it out. It was kinda heavy. I felt deep sadness while she was talking. Anger, disappointment, fear. Loneliness. But also strength, courage, passion. It was an intense, but very beautiful experience, on my behalf.

I mostly listened and let her tell and do her thing. Occasionally adding a thought or two of mine. Communication was nice and clear. I think we kinda bonded a bit tonight..

Anyhow... From this experience of mine; a lot can be seen and understood. A lot of women have been dealing with a lot of bullshit for a very long time. And maybe, just maybe, that's why some hate men. And that's why some decide to date women instead, even. Because they're simply done with the bullshit.

Now I'm not saying men do not ever experience bullshit from women. Not at all. I'm one of those guys who has been eating that bullshit religiously like a nice, little, obedient puppy. Every day.

It took a real heartbreak for me to wake up and draw the line.

So yeah, basically - the shit goes both ways. 

[RendHeaven]

@ivankiss So has she taken the guy up on his advances?

 

[ivankiss]

@RendHeaven She's planning on quitting if things don't change radically and quickly. Pretty much her own words haha. She's pretty badass.

Friday morning we have a meeting regarding some issues between the staff. I'm kinda on the outside looking in. It's a cool movie.

Edited June 16, 2021 by ivankiss

[Javfly33]

@ivankiss thanks for sharing, although I don't mean that kind of hate. 

I mean more in the "you are not worthy to be alive" kind of hate 

[MatteO22]

8 hours ago, Roy said:

People need to drop the whole "Alpha/Beta" lingo and frame/understand things in a healthier way. Those terms might be useful to a complete newbie but should be discarded pretty quickly. People are more dynamic and layered than, "He is just a beta-male. While this guy is clearly an Alpha!" It can slow down so much progress if you're neurotically tethered to fulfilling simple childish archetypes.

Yes! 
 

I just had a glance at the forum guidelines and sexism is not allowed. Which is problematic because the whole red pill/pua/Alfa-beta ideas are all rooted in sexist ideologies.

 

Frankly the whole dating section is flooded with posts where most of them are rooted in some form of covert or overt sexism. I’m not here to tell you guys how to run a forum, totally not my job. But there seems to be a huge dissonance. Why doesn’t anyone bat an eye ! I mean people seem to be speaking up finally but so much shit gets a pass, stuff that if you said in a room full of people in real life you’d be outed for discrimination and misogyny or misandry.

[Roy]

1 minute ago, MatteO22 said:

Why doesn’t anyone bat an eye ! I mean people seem to be speaking up finally but so much shit gets a pass, stuff that if you said in a room full of people in real life you’d be outed for discrimination and misogyny or misandry.

Simply because these kind of topics draw out peoples insecurities and light them up like a neon sign. Then they distract themselves from those insecurities by turning things into a dick measuring contest - both figurately and sometimes literally 

[MatteO22]

11 minutes ago, Roy said:

Simply because these kind of topics draw out peoples insecurities and light them up like a neon sign. Then they distract themselves from those insecurities by turning things into a dick measuring contest - both figurately and sometimes literally 

That doesn’t make it okay. I mean that’s literally the reason behind any hate speech or verbal attack ever. 
 

 

1 minute ago, Lucas-fgm said:

But what if the definition of " misogyny or misandry "  for some of you guys is different from other people's definiton?

 

 

Of course, a misogynistic belief won’t confess itself as misogynistic because then it would have to change.

 

If you have misogynistic agenda you’re going to deny it all the way. 

[MatteO22]

6 hours ago, ivankiss said:

I was gonna stay out of these discussions on the forum, but earlier I had a conversation with a coworker that kinda shook me up a bit. 

She's a pretty attractive woman in her early 30s. She gets quite a lot of attention. And a lot of filthy, inappropriate and disgusting comments and suggestions, as well. I just found out that our boss (45ish) has been sexually harassing her non stop. Through text and in person at work. Apparently he has been offering her a deal. She fucks him a few days a week in a hotel and he treats her, pays for nice shit, etc. You get the point.

I was kinda shocked. Not so much by the fact that my boss is a pig, but by the energy she was transmitting while she spoke of the issue. She was raging. She was basically yelling in my face while she was describing what was going on all this time. I could tell she was fed up. Like, done with that kind of shit. I'm sure this was not the first time she experienced harassment. And the girl simply had enough. I can tell she has very strong boundaries. And also knows how to defend herself if someone crosses the line. That's something you learn through years of dealing with disgusting pigs.

So there's that. I guess I just needed to get it out. It was kinda heavy. I felt deep sadness while she was talking. Anger, disappointment, fear. Loneliness. But also strength, courage, passion. It was an intense, but very beautiful experience, on my behalf.

I mostly listened and let her tell and do her thing. Occasionally adding a thought or two of mine. Communication was nice and clear. I think we kinda bonded a bit tonight..

Anyhow... From this experience of mine; a lot can be seen and understood. A lot of women have been dealing with a lot of bullshit for a very long time. And maybe, just maybe, that's why some hate men. And that's why some decide to date women instead, even. Because they're simply done with the bullshit.

Now I'm not saying men do not ever experience bullshit from women. Not at all. I'm one of those guys who has been eating that bullshit religiously like a nice, little, obedient puppy. Every day.

It took a real heartbreak for me to wake up and draw the line.

So yeah, basically - the shit goes both ways. 

Just saying, If you’re sleeping with your boss for treats and are in a situation that’s getting you worked up and angry  about it you don’t have strong boundaries at all, your boundaries suck. Boundaries are what keeps you from getting into the situations like the one that she is in. 

[MatteO22]

21 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

A lot of authoritative stage green people here.

I’m not that into SD, but to my limited knowledge being authoritative is a stage blue value, therefore authoritative stage green person is a healthy green that has integrated blue, and doesn’t bounce around spreading ‘love and light’ to all individuals, toxic, abusive and otherwise. 
 

So… isn’t that a compliment to someone’s growth ? I’m honestly wondering because I don’t know that much about SD  

 

2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Man, for god's sake, you are literally the guy that started attacking the Russian girl, just because she said she didn't "beta" males. Called her behavior misandric. Look at yourself. Shame on you. 

If you call out someone’s behaviour as a red flag it’s hardly an attack it’s a pointer of awareness. Statement ‘shame on you’ is an attack though. I do have to say that  

 

besides, didn’t you attack @Hulia calling her (in your words) ‘a German hoe’, and then dragged all German girls through the mud ? Maybe it was someone else… oh wait, it wasn’t. 

[MatteO22]

@Lucas-fgm so your logic is, you can attack anyone you want, and If anyone else does something that in your eyes is an attack (even though I was just being direct clear and truthful), you attack them as well, and of course - they deserve it in your head so you should keep doing it.

 

Am I getting this right ? 

[MatteO22]

Just now, Lucas-fgm said:

Whatever man. I don't care what you think, to be honest.

Good!  I’m glad you’re being honest. Enjoy your time on the internet! Spend it well ! May it be abundant and fruitful.