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[QandC]

Enlightenment's evil brother? Many of the comments feel similar to awakening experiences. But the opposite of a positive experience.

"The realization that you're actually doing what you're doing."

"depersonalization: I don't feel real. Derealization: the world doesn't feel real"

"With derealization, i will constantly feel like I'm dreaming. I don't forget where i am but i have to remember where i am if that makes sense, is that anyone else?"

"I don’t feel like everything is a dream, it’s that nothing feels real. Like I know everything around me is real, but it feels fake. I don’t really know how to explain it."

"I’ve been repeatedly telling my friends “I feel like I’m sitting in a movie theater watching my life in front of me.”"

"I often feel like some camera man. I feel like I just don't have any impact for what is going on around me and all I can do is watch."

"I feel like a small part of me is in real life, but the rest of me is stuck in some non existent void"

"I feel like I’m not talking to people. I feel like I’m just talking with myself again"

 

Been going through this myself, and it is pure suffering. Curious to know more of how it relates to awakening, though

Edited June 16, 2021 by QandC

[Nahm]

Sorry to hear. 

Would you say the suffering is of the mind / thoughts… or that the suffering is more in feeling or felt?

[kinesin]

In my experience, the people who don't go through a phase like that in their early 20s tend to get stuck in stage blue or orange for many years, if they ever leave those stages at all.  That phase does eventually end and 'reality' get reintegrated once again, but you're left with firsthand awareness that everything is ultimately arbitrary and that perspective stays with you for the rest of your life, enabling you to transcend many of the perspectives which people in the 'lower' stages can't see outside of.

[QandC]

@Nahm Suffering of the mind 

[Nahm]

@QandC

I don’t mean this flippantly or anything… but would you then say that you’re feeling great, typically and there is suffering of the mind… or that you are not feeling great typically, and in that sense the suffering is felt?

[QandC]

@Nahm It was years ago since I experienced it. It only lasted for 2 days for me. Back then I was just suffering because I was 17 years old and I didn't know wtf was going on, like I was a watcher observing a robot body that is not mine. 

[RMQualtrough]

I had derealization during periods of EXTREME stress. Appears to be the body's defence mechanism to detach from the pain.

I also had it after a period of DMT usage. The paradigm shift was too sudden and I did not understand the implications entirely. Once it is realized that life fundamentally has not changed, it tends to subside. E.g. something a person may consider about the ideology is that literally everything is REAL rather than unreal. It also helps to leave spirituality for a little while and focus on narcissistic type pursuits until you feel mentally well again. At some point the idea will not cause this issue.

Edited June 16, 2021 by RMQualtrough

[Nahm]

@QandC

I might have misunderstood. I thought you were currently experiencing this. What was the catalyst when you were 17 and experienced it?

[The0Self]

28 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

I had derealization during periods of EXTREME stress. Appears to be the body's defence mechanism to detach from the pain.

I also had it after a period of DMT usage. The paradigm shift was too sudden and I did not understand the implications entirely. Once it is realized that life fundamentally has not changed, it tends to subside. E.g. something a person may consider about the ideology is that literally everything is REAL rather than unreal. It also helps to leave spirituality for a little while and focus on narcissistic type pursuits until you feel mentally well again. At some point the idea will not cause this issue.

^^

That certainly can happen.

DP/DR is not associated or related to enlightenment in any way. DP/DR involves an apparent individual experiencing the centerlessness/voidness of perception in their awareness. Enlightenment is just centerlessness/voidness full-stop -- which is of course already the case, but not for anyone.

Edited June 16, 2021 by The0Self

[QandC]

@Nahm Weed trauma haha. I also experimented a lot with kundalini techniques etc and I had no idea what I was doing. Had insane realisations back then that kinda of traumatized me. I guess my grounding wasn't solid