Not Losing Self in Relationship

[Pilgrim]

I am in a relatively new relationship (one year) with my absolute dream partner. It was basically love on first sight and the relationship is going great, I can really see myself spending my whole life with this person. There is just one issue:

When we met I was in a pretty big phase of soul searching that is still not finished (and I guess might never? ). I feel like there is still a lot of work I have to do on myself, I am professionally nowhere near where I would like to be. There are lots of projects I would like to do, I would like to apply for art residencies, I want to do some house-sitting in foreign countries and create art, I want to do another education; possibly art therapy related, I sometimes feel like I would still like to explore more my own sexuality; I'm a girl and curious about other girls.. there are so many things I would like to do and I feel like with him I cannot fully express them.

And that is okay to a degree, because relationship means compromise. And I know that I am naturally a bit flaky, I have a hard time with long-term commitment..but with him I know I want to commit. The relationship is my priority and I know it's the same for him. There is no "better" partner I am looking for, I know for me it's him. 

I just struggle with finding the right balance between "us" and "me", especially because "me" means things that are rather unusual and hard to plan, they require a high degree of flexibility and individual freedom and are not so compatible with a relationship. Specifically because the things I like to do are heavily connected to individual freedom, I like to just bounce around and see where the path is taking me. However, no amount of personal fulfilment could beat being with this man for me. I just feel like I want to give more space to "me" – the artsy, freedom-loving, adventurous me that likes to spend time alone and fully be in her own flow – not knowing how to integrate that with my relationship. He does not like to be physically apart for a longer time while I feel like I sometimes even need it. I miss him a lot after some time, usually already after some days, but I also really crave to be absolutely alone sometimes. 

Any advice is much appreciated 

[Eternal Unity]

You describe a very healthy relationship.

On 16.6.2021 at 11:28 AM, Pilgrim said:

He does not like to be physically apart for a longer time while I feel like I sometimes even need it.

Communication is key. Freedom and personal space within a relationship is important. There is a time for being together and a time for being apart. 

I wish you all the best!

[hyruga]

He is needy. Go test him and ask him what's his life purpose.