One of the most important thing to understand about women

[intotheblack]

19 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

Yes, i appreciate your choice of words. I would say men can be seen as more overtly unavailable to the point where it’s almost assumed. Women while perhaps embodying the same degree of emotional unavailability may be a little covert about it, or it can be somewhat overlooked.

 

I can’t express how many times my mom would do something abusive/manipulative or just avoidant, and everyone around would just say ‘oh she’s just doing this because she loves you so much’ or ‘she’s just worried about you she’s not trying to control your life and make you do her bidding… not at all no  it’s someone else’s mom man not yours… she’s a good mom! Right ?! Right ?!’…. Unavailable women can be more covert than men.  

 

It took me years of healing and parts work to get through it. And I’m still healing. 

Another thing women do, which I don’t know if this in emotionally unavailable or not or just from suppression.  But they won’t speak out of they feel their emotional needs aren’t being met so they will use manipulation to try and get it or just let keep it all inside. 
with my mam she suppressed her feelings for her whole marriage and her coping mechanism is denying there is any problems, but then complaining about it to other people or brushing things under the carpet. 
she’s actually having somewhat of an awakening now and is getting divorced.  She’s 70. 
 

Edited June 19, 2021 by intotheblack

[Shin]

5 hours ago, Raphael said:

I think that these videos can be quite relevant to this discussion.

 

 

I would feel so unsafe if I was a good looking girl.

Like seriously, how do you even walk in the streets alone without wanting to punch some of those guys ?

[Etherial Cat]

20 minutes ago, Shin said:

I would feel so unsafe if I was a good looking girl.

Like seriously, how do you even walk in the streets alone without wanting to punch some of those guys ?

The same way you do when you feel threatened as a man by someone who overpowers you largely.

Either you snap back at them (mostly possible if there are people around and they don't look totally batshit crazy- so there is a risk evaluation going on) or you shut up and try to make yourself small.

I remember that once, when I was 17-18, a guy entered a bus and tried to kiss me right after. I told him to fuck off and let go of me. He threatened to slap me if I wouldn't apologize for that. I decided to apologize to avoid being beaten up (!!), but if I were a guy, I would have probably tried to make him lose all his teeth. Back then, I was so frail (46kg for 1m70) that I had just no other choice than to accept his condition to avoid a physical confrontation.

--

Also, you'll notice that there is a difficult line between street harassment and a guy trying to pick up girls. Sometimes, I get afraid because a man stalks me or come very close to me. And I get relieved when I realize it's just the good old pick up and not a full stack psycho.

Edited June 19, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Zeroguy]

28 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Another thing women do, which I don’t know if this in emotionally unavailable or not or just from suppression.  But they won’t speak out of they feel their emotional needs aren’t being met so they will use manipulation to try and get it or just let keep it all inside. 
with my mam she suppressed her feelings for her whole marriage and her coping mechanism is denying there is any problems, but then complaining about it to other people or brushing things under the carpet. 
she’s actually having somewhat of an awakening now and is getting divorced.  She’s 70. 
 

What?! 

Hahahahaha 

Where is that guy that likes older women? 

[Etherial Cat]

14 hours ago, knakoo said:

 

I was curious about you losing trust in a guy that you started seeing and that you trusted. I have some ideas of possible reasons, but I would love to hear your perspective.

Each time there is a conscious boundary violation and they don't make amends or try to understand why I've been upset, I kinda have a break of trust/faith in that person I think. 

Then it depends if it makes the relationship still viable or that limitation makes it unfulfilling for both.

[Shin]

@Etherial Cat Learn Jiu Jitsu and kick their asses

[Etherial Cat]

12 hours ago, Lucas-fgm said:

@Etherial Cat You are being selfish attacking pick up guys, almost all girls don't approach men, especially the non-atractive ones, do you want them to die as virgins?

To be honest I have thought Swiss men were so weak that didn't even exist such thing as pick up in Switzerland.

I have no problem with men approaching, but there are ways and reasons why they should approach me.

I don't like it when a guy approaches me because he wants to approach any woman and I'll do the trick because I happen to be there. And that especially the case if he wants to straight up go on a date or something like that.

It's a bit like if someone is applying for a job and try 1000 companies and see who gives them an answer.

I'm very open with men approaching me when it comes to normal interactions though. This, I very rarely turn away.

But if he's interest in me is a mere gender acknowledgment or an attraction to my flesh, I'm not interested.

About Swiss men:

I don't think weak is a fair adjective to talk about Swiss men.

Mind you, as a Swiss woman I'm also not keen at all on making such a pejorative generalization about men whom some are my relatives, friends or acquaintances...

Like the Israeli, Swiss men all go to the army. It is compulsory. I see their tasks (ranging from civil protection acts during Covid to special exercises that requires them to shoot to defend the borders or jumping from helicopters with bags) on a regular basis on social media.

And for centuries, they have been praised for their exceptional warrior skills. When my Swiss male ancestors fought a battle, other European nations wanted them on their side. And that's why the French kings were defended by some Swiss knights, and the Pope is still guarded by Swiss guards.

Also, I'm not sure if I'm proud of stating this but Julien Blanc from RSD is Swiss. So they definitely know pick up.

 

[Etherial Cat]

19 minutes ago, Shin said:

@Etherial Cat Learn Jiu Jitsu and kick their asses

Yeah yeah... I'm already anticipating the next issue: being told I'm not acting feminine! 

[MatteO22]

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

Another thing women do, which I don’t know if this in emotionally unavailable or not or just from suppression.

Suppression and emotional unavailability go hand in hand. When we suppress we are emotionally unavailable to ourselves, and in turn lose the ability to hold any space for others. Anything that stops us from feeling our feelings is an attribute that diminishes our capacity for intimacy, and anything that increases our emotional bandwidth in terms of our own emotions, equally allows us to be there for those around us. 

[MatteO22]

41 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

being told I'm not acting feminine! 

By the way I just wanna say this on record, I fucking hate when people say that being feminine equates being submissive. Hate! That! Shit! It’s such a B.S! 
Femininity is badass. It’s knowing your worth, it’s allowing your emotional needs to inform your boundaries, it’s being okay with saying no to toxic or undesirable situations and relationships. Femininity is the most gangster, self-worth filled, non-defensive, intuitive and powerful force out there. It’s fucking real, and has nothing to do with submission. It’s a force of nature that births civilisations into existence. 
I have spoken !  

[Shin]

51 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Yeah yeah... I'm already anticipating the next issue: being told I'm not acting feminine! 

Who would tell you that ?

I see two kinds of people:

• The assholes from whom you could protect yourself of
• Insecure men that you start dating

In both case why would you care ?

[integral]

 

All attractive people get similar treatment, its not just women when walking down the streets. Of course its not going to be as bad, but women are thinking the same thing, there just not conditioned to express it. 

 

DAIIIm these older women. They go get what they want. lmfao

Older women have done something similar to me and i just went for it, because why not lol

Edited June 19, 2021 by integral

[Shin]

1 hour ago, integral said:

All attractive people get similar treatment, its not just women when walking down the streets. Of course its not going to be as bad, but women are thinking the same thing, there just not conditioned to express it.

The worst you can have is a group of women laughing and giggling because they find you attractive, maybe one of them asking if she can have your number for one of her shy friend, and that's pretty rare, and that's not really, you know, annoying.

You can't compare this to constant harass of lustful people seeing you as a live sextoy, with the possibility of one of them (or a group) to snatch you and rape you in some secluded place.

Edited June 19, 2021 by Shin

[Windappreciator]

5 hours ago, MatteO22 said:

Suppression and emotional unavailability go hand in hand. When we suppress we are emotionally unavailable to ourselves, and in turn lose the ability to hold any space for others. Anything that stops us from feeling our feelings is an attribute that diminishes our capacity for intimacy, and anything that increases our emotional bandwidth in terms of our own emotions, equally allows us to be there for those around us. 

Beautiful.

Let's forget the dogshit PUA, whether it works or not doesn't matter because it's a low ass position to come from, and just be authentic in our communication with others.

Edited June 19, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Peter Miklis]

@integral Idk why you people keep posting these low quality videos. Is you bullshit detector turned off? All of these "walk for 10 hours" videos could be easily made up in order to fit some narrative. How do you know they actually walked for 10 hours, or that the reactions of "strangers" weren't planned ahead?

Not saying women or men aren't being harrased, not at all, but at least post some good video.

Edited June 19, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[RendHeaven]

6 hours ago, MatteO22 said:

By the way I just wanna say this on record, I fucking hate when people say that being feminine equates being submissive. Hate! That! Shit! It’s such a B.S! 
Femininity is badass. It’s knowing your worth, it’s allowing your emotional needs to inform your boundaries, it’s being okay with saying no to toxic or undesirable situations and relationships. Femininity is the most gangster, self-worth filled, non-defensive, intuitive and powerful force out there. It’s fucking real, and has nothing to do with submission. It’s a force of nature that births civilisations into existence. 
I have spoken !  

I agree with the bold, but let's be real - there does seem to be a strong correlation between self-identified femininity and sexual submissiveness.

No, that doesn't mean that the feminine is weak, lol. I never said that.

It's just an acknowledgement of general social trends, void of value judgement.

So, does all femininity literally equate to submissiveness in a one to one ratio? Obviously not.

But at the same time, to say that femininity "has nothing to do with submission" is naive.

[Peter Miklis]

@RendHeaven All these terms are being defined so loosely and confusingly lol. Better to just not define them at all tbh, and come to your own conclusions throught real life experience.

[MatteO22]

3 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

But at the same time, to say that femininity "has nothing to do with submission" is naive.

That’s not what was said. The statement  ‘Femininity has nothing to do with submission’ implies that in order to be feminine, submission doesn’t have to play a role in embracing your feminine energy. 
 

Yes people who self-identify as ‘feminine’ may be submissive, but that doesn’t justify blaming their codependency and unworthiness on the fact of ‘just being feminine’, just like it doesn’t justify guys who are unable to surrender their ‘macho bravado’ and require submissiveness from their partners under the ruse of ‘being feminine’.

 

If feminine is seen as submissive and inferior, it’s simply feminine energy with an unresolved shadow. That usually shows up as codependency, people pleasing, unworthiness and self-hatred. When the wounds of the feminine are resolved, there is nothing to submit to, and everything to express and create. The feminine energy is the energy of artist creating their art, of mothers birthing and caring for their children. Of teachers being kind and compassionate to their students. The therapist, the coach or the healer being an empowered companion to their clients. It’s the energy that determines how you will conduct yourself and treat others as you actualise your inspired vision into form. It’s the energy that sees the importance of creating the gift of your life purpose, and puts and emphasis that as this purpose is lived out, there will be no casualties and no-one (not even you) will be hurt in the process. 
 

It’s radical compassion that is able to forgive so effortlessly, that it doesn’t have to try to forgive in order to let go, but allows forgiveness to happen on its own time. Because when the divine feminine awakens, forgiveness for all is inevitable. So why would we rush. 
 

Empowered feminine, divine feminine, has nothing to do with submissiveness, and it has to be said for the reason not to give an excuse to those seeking the feminine to require it’s submissiveness out of their own insecurity, and not to give an excuse to the ones wanting to embody their feminine, to use their submission or smallness as a manipulation tactic. 
 

So again, nothing to do with submissiveness, abs everything to do with empowerment. 

[RendHeaven]

1 minute ago, Peter Miklis said:

Better to just not define them at all tbh, and come to your own conclusions throught real life experience.

To "come to [any] conclusions" IS to define.

Without first defining (explicitly or otherwise), there is no thing of which to make a conclusion out of.

So you can't really separate definition from conclusion, which you seem to want to do.

It's like you're saying: "better to draw a square that isn't a quadrilateral."

---

But maybe I'm being overly technical, I feel I understand what you mean to say

[RendHeaven]

@MatteO22 You seem to have a giant shadow against submission.

Consider that submission (coming from a pure heart) IS ultimate feminine empowerment, but I don't believe you recognize this since you work so hard to denounce and disown it.

Not to mention that you made the connection between submissiveness and inferiority, to which I say, "says who?"

Be careful of conflating the full scope of submissiveness with our stupid cultural notions of submissiveness.

At the highest level, all finitude submits and surrenders to Infinity, and such an act of submission is Greater than any petty human domination.

Likewise, all degrees and gradations of human submissiveness mimic this Divine Process (some degrees and gradations more pure than others).

When one realizes this, there is no room left to ascribe "inferiority."

Edited June 19, 2021 by RendHeaven