One of the most important thing to understand about women

[Preety_India]

I also did not understand the meaning of police mind transcendence.

 

[Windappreciator]

@Preety_India @bejapuskas 

I might start not understanding it either by so much pressure. 

[Gesundheit2]

I also did not understand.

[Windappreciator]

53 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

I also did not understand.

@bejapuskas 

[Gesundheit2]

@Windappreciator Okay, now you're being totally cryptic 

[Preety_India]

Eternally waiting for the meaning of police mind transcendence.

 

[RendHeaven]

I don't understand police mind transcendence.

[Peter Miklis]

Just let it go yall, he said something that he doesn't know the meaning of, happens to the best of us am I right @Windappreciator ??

Edited July 2, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[bejapuskas]

@Peter Miklis  It indeed does. Its fine we should respect it and educate one another.

@Windappreciator I almost feel like replying to your weaboo post in Japanese but I should also not break the guidelines as a mod.

[lmfao]

On 15/06/2021 at 11:22 PM, Tangerinedream said:

Yes incelism is becoming an epidemic 

(I also learned about incels here) 

> It's the belief in dominance hierarchies is what makes them true to begin with. It's both real and unreal. Lose your sanity in that projection, and you can find a sea of memes to give form to it, "Chad", "alpha", "beta", "omega", "Sigma". 

Putting everything I said there in quote marks since it's mechanical  

Edited July 3, 2021 by lmfao

[Axiomatic]

On 6/15/2021 at 1:47 PM, mivafofa said:

 

So I asked for their stories and guess what? All of them actually raped the woman they said they didn't rape, but they refused to acknowledge it. None of them could confirm she consented. They just went around like "well she did that and that.. so that's consent".  No man can acknowledge they're rapist and be okay with that. So the best course of action is to deny there was a rape, and it wasn't rape. 

I know plenty of situations where a woman verbally consented, but didn't really want to consent? I ask this question as respectfully as possible, but in a world of miscommunication, where can I fully trust myself to act on my urges and know 100% she is consenting? I know for certain that a verbal consent still isn't enough in a lot of cases. They are apparently too scared to not give consent?

 

What do men need to do to fully communicate this? To be on the same page as them? The last thing I would want to do is put a woman in this position. But I think the line isn't as clear as you're making it seem. I often feel confused, and a lot of times lost the attraction of a girl because I didn't want to make a move. But I am sometimes too nervous to act more "alpha" or "assertive" in fear of crossing a line without realizing it. 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Axiomatic

[Axiomatic]

why is me being romantically interested in a girl who I am friends with considered manipulation? I don't manipulate them, and communicate my feelings to them without coming off too cheesy lol. But if I get to know an attractive woman as a friend, chances are I could very well be into them. I dont know why that offends them. There is nothing I am morally doing wrong. 

Yall act like men have this "plan". And that may be true in some cases. But I always saw it as my feelings and emotions adjusting and developing. 

 

[bejapuskas]

4 hours ago, Axiomatic said:

I know plenty of situations where a woman verbally consented, but didn't really want to consent? I ask this question as respectfully as possible, but in a world of miscommunication, where can I fully trust myself to act on my urges and know 100% she is consenting? I know for certain that a verbal consent still isn't enough in a lot of cases. They are apparently too scared to not give consent?

 

What do men need to do to fully communicate this? To be on the same page as them? The last thing I would want to do is put a woman in this position. But I think the line isn't as clear as you're making it seem. I often feel confused, and a lot of times lost the attraction of a girl because I didn't want to make a move. But I am sometimes too nervous to act more "alpha" or "assertive" in fear of crossing a line without realizing it. 

No need to act more alpha. Throw that idea away. I agree that oftentimes women are afraid to say no, because they are afraid that if they do not please their partner, that they might leave them. And I understand this is frustrating for you just as it is to her. I think this fear originates in the structure of society where people are not educated about female pleasure, when somebod says sex, people think penetration. I am not saying penetration is not enjoyable, but sex is much more than that. She might be doing this because she wants you to please her, so she is trying her best to please you. It is a low self-esteem behavior, but that's what I see in it.

I understand that you do not want to put anyone into this position. Clear communication from your side is needed, don't always try to read the signs, have an open conversation. You can give a very good and confident impression if you do this well and it is not hard. Make it clear that you value her pleasue just as much as you value yours. Tell her that if she does not feel like it, she should not say yes to you. You might think this will make you frustrated, because women are less horny, but by not being pushy, you make them more sexually attracted to you. So it is in fact a win-win solution, both sides benefit from it.

But if you or her feel like OH YES 100 %, that is not consent. Think of it this way, if you have a flu and you are vomitting everyday, your sex drive drops drastically. You simply don't want a woman to be seducing you when you feel like shit, isn't it so. Or if you are straight, think of a guy seducing you. You might not hate gay people, but you simply don't want to engage in gay sex. Trust me, if you have sex when both parties want it whole-heartedly, it's gonna be so much better than borderline rape experience.

4 hours ago, Axiomatic said:

why is me being romantically interested in a girl who I am friends with considered manipulation? I don't manipulate them, and communicate my feelings to them without coming off too cheesy lol. But if I get to know an attractive woman as a friend, chances are I could very well be into them. I dont know why that offends them. There is nothing I am morally doing wrong. 

Yall act like men have this "plan". And that may be true in some cases. But I always saw it as my feelings and emotions adjusting and developing. 

Being romantically interested in friends is not wrong, if you do not manipulate them. If you use their trust in order to rape them or sexually assault them, that is wrong. Consider that attractive women might constantly be losing people who they consider friends, because they have to friendzone them. Or they feel like they cannot be anyone's friends because of their looks/personality whatever... Maybe if you think low of yourself, you might not be able to relate to this, but it is very frustrating when it happens to you over and over.

@Axiomatic  You don't seem like a bad guy to me at all, no need to be offended by women trying to be understood.  You are doing the exact same.

[Axiomatic]

@bejapuskas Thank you for your kind words. I definitely can come off as a bad guy over the internet unless I try to really approach these topics delicately. So thank you for seeing that within me. 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Axiomatic

[bejapuskas]

@Axiomatic  It's ok. Do you see now how you can be fighting for both male and female rights at the same time? I honestly think the inequality appears when there are toxic beliefs in both. They are supposed to somehow favor men from a very less spirally developed perspective (manipulation of power etc.) but they do not really do that, we are way beyond that point. This thread is focused on understanding women, of course you can talk about understanding men, it is interconnected, but you don't need to "choose a side". I think being on both sides at the same time is the best, acknowledging everything fairly.

[Axiomatic]

5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Axiomatic  It's ok. Do you see now how you can be fighting for both male and female rights at the same time? I honestly think the inequality appears when there are toxic beliefs in both. They are supposed to somehow favor men from a very less spirally developed perspective (manipulation of power etc.) but they do not really do that, we are way beyond that point. This thread is focused on understanding women, of course you can talk about understanding men, it is interconnected, but you don't need to "choose a side". I think being on both sides at the same time is the best, acknowledging everything fairly.

I understand what you're saying, and understand that to be objectively true. But in practice it is still very tough. I have been mistreated by women and seen my friends mistreated by them too. I also see a lot of hypocrisy within the extreme feminist view, and I don't believe many of them want equality or have my best interest in mind. At the end of the day, I still have a hard time trusting many of them. It's a major reason why I feel cautious around many of them (mainly white women). But I am working on that. 

Edited July 6, 2021 by Axiomatic

[bejapuskas]

6 hours ago, Axiomatic said:

I understand what you're saying, and understand that to be objectively true. But in practice it is still very tough. I have been mistreated by women and seen my friends mistreated by them too. I also see a lot of hypocrisy within the extreme feminist view, and I don't believe many of them want equality or have my best interest in mind. At the end of the day, I still have a hard time trusting many of them. It's a major reason why I feel cautious around many of them (mainly white women). But I am working on that. 

@Axiomatic I totally feel for you man, I have also been mistreated by women. Feminism is not one thing, apparently, there are certain kinds of feminisms that do not include transgender women and similar oppressive ideologies. Just understand feminism is advocating for the equality of all sexes and genders, like equalism. Anything other than that is not feminism in my opinion. You don't need to believe that women and men are the same, but they should have equal rights, which they do not, especially in countries like India, where Preety is coming from. Feminism is so useful, you just cannot see it because you are probably privileged to live in the West. And I mean that is not your fault where you were born and what you were exposed to. But the reality is, still some members on this forum get offended when women share stories of rape and sexual assault and it is not just on this forum. It is kind of absurd, when somebody tells you about their issue and you say: "But I have issues also." That's just completely missing the point. Having a conversation, comparing your issues and seeing whether there is a solution is a better way than projecting and getting offended. Being mistreated by an individual is not an excuse for denying the reality or wishing less rights onto an entire big group of people. Although I get the fear, oftentimes women start fearing all men because of one or more incidents of rape, that's how fear works. But the women here have so far been very open so use this space to discuss what bothers you, open up man. 

[Axiomatic]

@bejapuskas nah I understand what you're saying. I just feel like there is a lot of varied areas of what these assault cases fall under. I'm just sharing my perspective that I would never have malicious intentions, but could still be thrown in the assault category if there is a potential miscommunication and I am not incredibly cautious. Nobody really cares to explain how to go about it the correct way. And what is explained in theory to be the proper way to go about it doesn't truly translate very gracefully in action. 

Louis Ck did a bit on his assault incident. And he basically said "fellas if you want to jerk off in front of her, ask first. If she says yes, ask "are you sure??", and if she still says yes, just dont do it." ...so in theory, myself as a man should never feel okay to want to try something with a woman I am attracted to because whatever she feels matters most even if she doesn't properly communicate that to me. 

I am not getting offended at assault stories. I am not trying to make this about me or my issues as a man. I am simply trying to find the holes in the communication and figure this shit out so both of us can feel on the same page. Because obviously to avoid these issues, we need better communication. But a lot of women spin it like it is so obvious. And to me it's just not. I mean it is obvious to not have malicious intent. Thats a given. But the gray areas seem more up in the air to emotion rather than a set of rules and logic. Nobody is giving me a memo of what to do exactly in a given situation. It's just, "try to figure out if she is down for it. Who knows, she could say yes, but really mean no."

Edited July 7, 2021 by Axiomatic

[bejapuskas]

@Axiomatic  You don't need to be like inhumanly cautious, just know her background, ask about potential trauma triggers, have extensive conversations outside of the bedroom too. This is not a drag. It will improve your experience too, you will get to know each other better. It just really is not that worth it man if you don't communicate. If you asked, you would not be saying nonsense such as nobody really cares to explain, have some patience. When somebody was raped in the past, it takes them time to open up. It is not just easy for them. If you don't have any patience and do not care to communicate, you might think these people are playing with you or being impossible to date when they are really not. Sure, some people just are not sexually open, but you should just not force it. 

I mean sure, these incidents happen, but like most cases can be prevented and you do not need supernatural compassion or mind reading skills to do it. It should be obvious that you need to communicate in such matters, women are not objects for you to just use without talking to them. People are not logical, you also are not logical in many ways. You need to treat this on person by person basis. There is no one guide for all people.

[Zeroguy]

What so far I understood about my forum lady is that she loves me so much that she wants to move to another planet.

Why I am not suprised? 

Edited July 8, 2021 by Zeroguy