One of the most important thing to understand about women

[kai0]

if you can unpack all that from two simple posts that ive made then go ahead and do whatever you want dude not gonna change the reality

your free to walk down that dangerous neighborhood late at night alone but the police probably wont be able to protect you in this case its your fault not the police bcause the police can only protect you as much as your willing to protect yoursefl

[Nahm]

11 minutes ago, kai0 said:

if you can unpack all that from two simple posts that ive made then go ahead and do whatever you want dude not gonna change the reality

your free to walk down that dangerous neighborhood late at night alone but the police probably wont be able to protect you in this case its your fault not the police bcause the police can only protect you as much as your willing to protect yoursefl

Rape is a crime. This is not a grey matter. The rapist is at fault, not the victim of the crime. This is also not a grey matter. Your perspective on this is what’s referred to as victim shaming. There’s no ‘unpacking’ happening here. You are literally saying “it’s your fault”. 

Imagine someone robbing your home, and the police telling you it’s your fault because you should’ve had an alarm system. Are you able to see how the crime is not your fault, but the burglar’s?  Even if at the same time an alarm system might be a good idea? 

Can you see the difference between saying there are unfortunately rapists, and it could be advisable to be aware of this, and even think proactively & defensively, perhaps by carrying mace, pepper spray, or the likes… vs saying it is the victim’s fault the crime occurred? Essentially, that a woman ‘asked for it’ by dressing or applying make up in some way? 

[Harlen Kelly]

@MatteO22 Would really appreciate if you refrain from tagging me, thanks in advance.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

Rape is a crime. This is not a grey matter. The rapist is at fault, not the victim of the crime. This is also not a grey matter. Your perspective on this is what’s referred to as victim shaming. There’s no ‘unpacking’ happening here. You are literally saying “it’s your fault”. 

Imagine someone robbing your home, and the police telling you it’s your fault because you should’ve had an alarm system. Are you able to see how the crime is not your fault, but the burglar’s?  Even if at the same time an alarm system might be a good idea? 

Can you see the difference between saying there are unfortunately rapists, and it could be advisable to be aware of this, and even think proactively & defensively, perhaps by carrying mace, pepper spray, or the likes… vs saying it is the victim’s fault the crime occurred? Essentially, that a woman ‘asked for it’ by dressing or applying make up in some way? 

Thanks.

 

[MatteO22]

@Harlen Kelly if you don’t wanna be tagged feel free to use the ‘block function’, if there’s a point in directly calling out destructive rhetoric, gaslighting and abuse I won’t refrain from quoting the things you post, just so that an atmosphere where it’s not okay to speak up isn’t cultivated.

 

So block away, it’s your best option !  

[Harlen Kelly]

@MatteO22 You remind me of a crazy/obsessive ex I used to have a long time ago. Very pathetic indeed.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

You are responsible for not raping people. There is no shared responsibility here. 

This is as clear cut as victim shaming & the justification of criminal activity could be.

You are implying a woman who is raped is not the victim of a crime, but that the crime is somehow warranted, justifiable, understandable or excusable, or that it is the result of a lack of adherence to some shared responsibility. Woman are free to wear clothes & make up however they choose, and do not need to have any regard for your consent or interpretations to do so. You are implying rape is justifiable because you can’t control yourself / your urges, and that women bear some responsibility to cater to your lack of impulse control. 

It isn’t ‘male POV’, it’s your pov, and it isn’t a matter of denial, it’s illegal and morally abominable. 

I’m not assigning points or banning you so that you have an opportunity to express this ignorance (which has already transpired), and an opportunity to hear from others, and to choose to expand & learn, and to realize & employ some empathy & compassion by putting yourself in other’s shoes. 

If you persist in supporting this view however, you’ll be banned. If that is the direction you choose, I do hope you seek out some counseling to come to this realization & understanding. 

@integral

You’re coming from the same place, and in jeopardy of being banned as well. ‘All men go through a phase like this’ is a deeply personal bias which is appalling as it implies rape could somehow be justified. 

Thank you. I appreciate you calling them out.  

[integral]

I have never been this misinterpreted before, its baffling. Ill have to rethink how to communicate.  

[mivafofa]

3 hours ago, kai0 said:

well i dont remember anyone asking for my consent before women started raping my visual field and arousing me with all them sexy clothes and makeup its ridiculus how ok its to do passive seduction all the time and then cry about male arousal getting out of control and when someone comes forward to speak about this all them start to crying my freedom my freedom  

I don't know how you all have the patience to response to this absurd stupidity... It sounds like trolling. 

 

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@MatteO22 You remind me of a crazy/obsessive ex I used to have a long time ago. Very pathetic indeed.

Did you abuse and gaslight your ex that she was left traumatized and naturally called you out on it, so then you used her reaction to your abuse to call her crazy/obsessive and pathetic? 

[MatteO22]

5 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Did you abuse and gaslight your ex that she was left traumatized and naturally called you out on it, so then you used her reaction to your abuse to call her crazy/obsessive and pathetic?

Aw thanks ! Can’t say I haven’t thought the same ?.

[Etherial Cat]

Thank you @Nahm for clariflying things and calling people out. ❤️

 

[Etherial Cat]

18 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

Aw thanks ! Can’t say I haven’t thought the same ?.

 

24 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Did you abuse and gaslight your ex that she was left traumatized and naturally called you out on it, so then you used her reaction to your abuse to call her crazy/obsessive and pathetic? 

You guys! I thought the same too. Haha

[Nahm]

Welcome, and thanks, and also, not trying to ‘call’ or single ‘anyone out’ per se. 

[Zeroguy]

What happened with @Nahm never heard him like this?!

Woot.

[Zeroguy]

Evil is necessary.I mean ,lets play.

[integral]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

I will not take responsibility for what happens to me when I'm not consenting... especially when I'm not awake. And I was not ignorant and clueless when these things happened to me... unless you mean clueless in the sense that I was asleep.

The Evan story, she trusted him to sleep next to her. Why? Because she didn't understand him. If she did, she could of taken precautionary measures. That's all i mean by responsibility, making good decisions. She did not understand his male perspective. Can we stop saying now that all women know the male perspective, its trivial and not worth communicating? 

We need to educate both sides so they can understand each other and themselves.  Both can make better wiser decisions.

Responsibility not as in its your fault, i mean it as there are degrees of control that everyone has in a given situation. In any situation both sides played the game poorly. 

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

Men can control their urges. They are not feral beasts.

This is not about justification, its a probabilistic systemic certainty that some wont. These urges are non trivial and will not disappear with education. Especially at the golden years of 14-20, underdeveloped age. Its not systemically realistic to say men should just control themselves. The system is more complicated then that and a real solution molds/compromise/adapts to the landscape. 

---

This is the context with the gf i stimulated while sleeping. We where out at the park having a nice evening, joking around, she garbed my junk in public playfully. Had to suppress the laughter, wanted to explode, there where to many people around. Later that night we had sex, the next morning i woke up before her, around the time she would normally wake up, for fun i placed 1 finger on the good spot and just left it there, no motion besides natural body motions and the suppression of my laughter. 10 min in of resting in that position, something starts heating up. Turns out she is having a sex dream, so i take my hand out and watch her for a bit until she naturally wakes up from it. I then explain what has happened, we laughed about it and have sex. 

Side note: Ya know this could possibly be an ancient practice of some kind, I don't know, its seems effective to stimulate sex dreams.  Like sleep sex with a partner you trust and consent to it before hand? Where they guide you into a dream. hmmm this sounds very interesting to explore. Maybe a device can be warn by both partners, that stimulates them at the same time while they sleep, so they can both enter into a dream together. Then wake up to sex. This sound pretty awesome actually.  

 

 

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

You’re coming from the same place, and in jeopardy of being banned as well. ‘All men go through a phase like this’ is a deeply personal bias which is appalling as it implies rape could somehow be justified. 

I was not referencing rape, i was referencing urges. Ages 14-20. 

It implies rape/assault is probabilistically inevitable.

Edited June 25, 2021 by integral

[hoodrow trillson]

22 page thread hahaha

[Peter Miklis]

@integral Honestly, you have some valid points. I don't know why everyone keeps bitching about your perspective.? I mean, your perspective includes theirs, so I don't know what's the problem really.

Also, pretty interesting experience regarding those sex dreams. Maybe you can even experience that conciously if you know how to get lucid dreams.

Edited June 25, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Harlen Kelly]

@mivafofa The d was too good.

[mivafofa]

@integral I understand what you're trying to do, you want bring awareness onto the table. To let women beware of men's natural predisposition. And to state things as they are in reality. (Ex: men are more visual than women, men have stronger sexual urges than women, etc. In this case: men have the urges to touch a women when she's vunerable.)

The reason why it comes across as a rape apologist viewpoint is because you're feeding this scenario that women should fear men more than they already do if they didn't already.  And that it's also the responsibility of the woman to always be in constant fear and doubt of every single man on earth, just in case. Which really discredits the real underlying issue here - the perpetrator. 

 

To tell you honestly, for the longest time and even once in a while now, I keep wishing I was educated more early on about the danger of men before having to learn it the hard way. Maybe I could've avoided half of the traumatizing events at least?  But I'm quite conscious now that even if I was more educated, nothing would've changed. You cannot dictate how your survival instincts work when facing danger, especially danger that is confused with an act that is universally known to be supposedly loving and intimate, and even worst, by the hand of someone you knew and built a foundational trust beforehand.

Why should my innocence or the innocence of any young girls be rectified and punished - when any of this crap could've been avoided by taking actions and spreading awareness onto these predators who cause this mess in the first place? They're the ones who have to be rectified and punished.  It's almost like saying like "It takes 2 people for a rape to happen. Therefore there is responsibility from both parties". But really, it's not 2 people who caused rape or sexual harassment to happen, it's one of them. 

Believe me when I say I have unjustly taken more than enough responsibilities from any sexual assaults I've had, it's so much easier because it gives me the illusion I had a certain control over the matter (when I really didn't).  Even the act of wishing I was more educated early on is an illusion of control I'm fooling myself with.

Edited June 25, 2021 by mivafofa
Typo corrected