One of the most important thing to understand about women

[aaalex]

37 minutes ago, Shin said:

If you're attractive, there is no way a guy wouldn't want to fuck with you, so that's not really an option.

What you can do though, is to be more selective and learn which kind of guys are more susceptible to just be friend with you for your ass, rather than because you're a potential good friend.

I mean, if a guy is really a friend, and he really cares about you as a person, he wouldn't try to date you as soon as you break up or even a few weeks after, no matter how attracted (or in love) to you he is.

I don't think you should stop being nice to people just because of those rare situations, but yeah, depending on where you live, smiling at a stranger in the street can be associated very fast with giving a signal that you're attracted. In those situations maybe just also learn by using stereotypes which kind of guys are more susceptible to be overly pushy and asses (not simple I suppose, I have no idea how you can do that tbh ).

Thank you for sharing, and I'm happy that you're feeling liberated towards this as of now

I guess I am pretty attractive. I have very attractive male friends and I would never put them in the same position so maybe the differences with gender play a key role?

I agree with choosing friends selectively, however with some guys you don’t really notice this until the damage is made.

I won’t stop being nice, never!  I don’t really want to use stereotypes as I’ve been wrong with some men before, too. I don’t really attract these kind of situations to the same extent anymore which is also worth noting (I don’t mean that you consciously attract this as a woman but I hope people understand what I mean by this). It still happens though and I don’t feel safe in the streets walking alone if I encounter a man, regarding if he will approach me or not. You kind of get taught to be afraid because of experiences or by society as every male is a potential rapist (I also hope people understand what I mean by this and don’t twist my words).

[mivafofa]

@Shin So this guy insisted to stay friends after I rejected him. When I did that - be friends (therefore rejecting any futher advances) he had the audacity to say I was wasting his time. So it went like this

Now that's needy. 

Yes OF COURSE! ?  After weeks of ignoring you can only mean I'm down to fuck. Obviously.  

[Shin]

 

"I don't care anymore"

 

[aaalex]

14 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

@Shin So this guy insisted to stay friends after I rejected him. When I did that - be friends (therefore rejecting any futher advances) he had the audacity to say I was wasting his time. So it went like this

Now that's needy. 

Yes OF COURSE! ?  After weeks of ignoring you can only mean I'm down to fuck. Obviously.  

Jesus christ…

[Peter Miklis]

@mivafofa Being needy can definitely make person's life a lot worse, regardless of the gender. I think everyone should be honest about their intentions from the get go, and if it doesn't work out, well big deal, move on.

I remember couple years ago, I was talking to one girl, with "I don't give a fuck", easy going mindset, and she liked that. Then I did a bunch of shit that she, I guess, interpreted as me being needy (even though I really wasn't), so, once she came to me and said "we're friends, right?" and I said yeah, sure. Did not care that much tbh. And guess what, at the end, it was her who ended up chasing me (not trying to flex, just stating facts). So yeah, it's important to keep your ego in check if you want to have any kind of success in life in general, not just in dating.

Honestly, all the guys in those examples were better off just saying "Hey, I wanna fuck, you down?" At least they'd be rejected right away, instead if getting rejected trying to sleaze their way throught friendship.

Edited June 18, 2021 by Peter Miklis

[Peter Miklis]

@mivafofa Putting as little effort into their sentence structure as possible lol typical

[MatteO22]

9 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

@Shin

Creep alert.

 

Dude No.

 

hope he's satisfied. I sure am. 

You look amazing, no wonder you’re getting so much male attention ! ?

 

on a serious note, as a guy I never generally have to deal with something like that and I am sorry that men can express this level of rudeness and entitlement. 
 

I don’t even think this can be deeply enjoyable for them, it all seems like desperation and total potatoe-ness. Like…

 

I think the best thing you can do for this gentleman is to block very swiftly. Some time in the future he may appreciate it. Maybe you’ll block him so decisively that it will change his life and he will turn everything around !  

[knakoo]

2 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

Was it really that complex?

Tldr : Men act often from needy perception, and do not perceive the subjectivity/needs of women and tend to trespass the boundaries consciously or unconsciously.

That's also why a lot of woman complain about being "objectified". This is derived from "being not seen".

Exemples:

1) I say the blackball/redpill is garbage. Right after that, a man comes and tell me that if I say that is because I'm a delusional femoid and my fate is to enjoy the cock carrousel in my 20s until I'll settle down for a beta cuck when I'll expire. I try to argue that none of my friends have been riding the cockcarousel in their 20 because we've all been in LTR.  But still, blackpill it is ! I'm told my dream man is Chad psychopath and there is nothing to avoid my condition.  <- My subjectivity is totally overruled by his insistance that I am how he imagine I am. Intimacy is not working. I can't feel good around this person and I close off.

2) I walk in the streets. A pick up artist comes to me and ask me to remove my headphone to have a chat. I clock him and we talk pick up. After a while of discussing pick up technics, he tries to test if I'm down to fuck by giving me a big hug. That's a technic see if I'm ready to get physical but I guess he didn't know I also knew about that one. It's corona time so I tell him I'm not interested. He still wants to test my receptivity and proceed anyway. <- My personal sovereignty is totally overruled by his desire to fuck. My boundary has been trespassed. I can't trust this person and I close off.

I hope it's clear enough.

 

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

I haven't been out in a while due to corona. This exemple was from last year.

I also got flashed by a man in a park who showed me his dick while I was walking last September. He started masturbating in front of me.

Men who hold incellish beliefs about women are more common than you'll know. Incels are an exaggeration, but males tend to spread crazy narrative and rumors about "how women are for real" and it misses a lot of the underlying reality behind. Yet, they are adamant that they are true.

I was curious about you losing trust in a guy that you started seeing and that you trusted. I have some ideas of possible reasons, but I would love to hear your perspective.

[aaalex]

46 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

I'm really sorry to hear that.  I hope this guy pays for what he did to you.

It’s ok, but thank you. It was a younger guy who didn’t speak for almost 10 years with anyone in our family, little to no human contact, severely autistic and used to hang around on darknet. He is older now and regret this deeply, even though I thought he would never because of his diagnosis. I have chosen understanding in this matter and have forgiven him in my heart, for the sake of my sanity. I am thankful for the abuse not going ”all the way” to fullclose intercourse, even if what I experienced was horrific.

51 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

 I think you, maybe, would have problems in my country, Brazil hahaha. Men are extremely to the point here.

Culturally speaking, we have very few " Nice guys".

I probably would! I went to India for three months once and experienced some really fucked up shit because of me being nice to everyone.  

[aaalex]

29 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Lol I may aswell share one.
this was a guy I had a fling with for about 1 and a half month, who I stopped seeing because he was way too arrogant and I couldn’t bare to be around him.  

Fuck’s sake. ?

I’m sharing one as well, a guy I thought I was good friend with during a voluntary stay in India. He had a wife and two small kids. He was drunk, calling me on my spare time in the late evening and wrote stuff on Messenger that he deleted, but I saw them before he did. He wrote that he wanted to kiss me and come to my tent. He blamed him being drunk and having too much to drink, no regrets though.
 

I could not tell the leader because the leader was even more fucked up and was very touchy with the volunteers that were there. Mainly the volunteers where foreigners and the staff were Indian men, there were no female staff.

Edited June 18, 2021 by aaalex
I had to censor the person on my pictures, will put in a new post

[intotheblack]

@aaalex omg lol. 
you should maybe hide the name on the photo, maybe someone who knows him could see it here (if he was into personal development and happened to be on this forum) ?

[aaalex]

[intotheblack]

5 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

If I'm interested in a girl I let extremely clear what are my intentions since the beggining. This behavior " lets be friends" but what the guy really wants is to be sexually with the girl is annoyng as fuck.

if a guy asked me to be friends with him I would be suspicious ?

[aaalex]

2 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

@aaalex omg lol. 
you should maybe hide the name on the photo, maybe someone who knows him could see it here (if he was into personal development and happened to be on this forum) ?

Yeah I saw it but immediately (I don’t post here often) so I changed it, hehe.

@Lucas-fgm maybe you could help me deleting the pictures you quoted ? my bad!

 

But yeah, quite disgusting. I hade a similar experience where I got help from a family in a village in India. The husband talked English quite well but not his family. He told me next to his family that he “hooked up and had sex” a German girl on a family trip in Bali. He asked me if I wanted to see him after his family went to sleep, initiating me doing the same with him. I was speachless.

I do believe his story was horse shit in the end, thinking I was gonna be turned on or impressed or whatever.  

I don’t know if this is common behaviour with married men in India or if it’s the view of female, young foreigners will spread their legs for every single man in the country.

[RendHeaven]

3 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

For god's sake, it's just obvious that most guys don't see any girl like their friends. Unless they are ugly. Unbelievable how innocent you girls are.

I feel like this is a toxic judgement, but my instinct is to agree.

From my POV, every single heterosexual male "friend" that a conventionally attractive woman has is covertly gaining proximity in hopes to fuck.

While I continue to (lightly) hold this belief as true, I won't weaponize this "truth" to judge women's decisions.

To me, it's a no-brainer for hot girls to instantly disown their straight male friends - "if I were a hot girl..." I'd say -

but then I stop, because maybe she has different needs than my myopic male lense of worldly sense-making.

And so I honor her autonomy.

[aaalex]

16 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

For god's sake, it's just obvious that most guys don't see any girl like their friends. Unless they are unattractive. Unbelievable how innocent you girls are.

I get what you mean, I can only talk from my own experience, but I do believe that women rather want to believe that every man is good from within if you think about how oppressed we are regarding this issue. 
Me, for example, have a really hard time consciously thinking men are like this when my brain is already wired to be afraid of a man.

Somewhere, I don’t want this to be true.

Edited June 18, 2021 by aaalex

[intotheblack]

23 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

For god's sake, it's just obvious that most guys don't see any girl like their friends. Unless they are unattractive. Unbelievable how innocent you girls are.

14 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

I feel like this is a toxic judgement, but my instinct is to agree.

From my POV, every single heterosexual male "friend" that a conventionally attractive woman has is covertly gaining proximity in hopes to fuck.

While I continue to (lightly) hold this belief as true, I won't weaponize this "truth" to judge women's decisions.

To me, it's a no-brainer for hot girls to instantly disown their straight male friends - "if I were a hot girl..." I'd say -

but then I stop, because maybe she has different needs than my myopic male lense of worldly sense-making.

And so I honor her autonomy.

It’s really not the case that no guys can be friends with an attractive female. 
If you are a guy who was well socialised with girls growing up and don’t objectify them, have your own balanced feminine energy, can get feminine energy from ways other than sex and don’t see women as something to conquer.. then that neediness of wanting to fuck any hot girl you see actually diminishes. 

these guys who play the ‘let’s be friends’ card, are also low key needy and trying to weasel their way in.. In the same way that pick up guys do it, the other side of the coin.  Just another form of manipulation.  (Both of them are trying to get something from the girl and will manipulate to get it)  one is being more weasely and the other more pushy.

 

Edited June 18, 2021 by intotheblack

[Harlen Kelly]

4 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

" spread the seed "

Genghis Khan style.

[RendHeaven]

8 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

It’s really not the case that no guys can be friends with an attractive female. 
If you are a guy who was well socialised with girls growing up and don’t objectify them, have your own balanced feminine energy, can get feminine energy from ways other than sex and don’t see women as something to conquer.. then that neediness of wanting to fuck any hot girl you see actually diminishes. 

Of course!

But how often do we see this?

[aaalex]

4 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Even though modern civilizations, try to inhibit this kind of behavior. It still there somewhere in the male brain.

I agree to some extent that our biology is affecting us more than we think but we already now that we can get conscious enough to see beyond the body and the mind.