One of the most important thing to understand about women

[Eternity]

I was puzzled by the word "incel" so I looked it up.  Somewhat cult like and sadly so focused on blaming women for their dating failures:

 

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a20078774/what-are-incels/

 

[mivafofa]

I always felt the term "mixed signal" is just another way to put the blame and responsibility on the woman, rather than just being a man who's emotional intelligent enough to pick up the cues, putting his desires on the side to tune it to her desire and needs (Because her pleasure is his pleasure). I don't know any women who actually give mixed signals. As a woman myself, I can tell when a woman is just looking for a good time, or looking to be validated, without sex. Or whether she wants the sex or not. I've seen it. It's baffling. Somehow some men just don't pick it up, probably delusionally projecting their desire onto her like @Eternity pointed it out.

 

43 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

OMG In the past I struggled so much with women that give mixed signals. This is the kind of woman that I hate the most

I learned this a hard way sadly. Nowadays I only deal with women that have clear intentions.

25 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Good point. But women should learn to be more clear about their intentions from the start.

 

Omg... you make me think of these guy friends I had to deal with 

v

3 hours ago, mivafofa said:

Because most of the time, they're not aware it's rape. They think if a woman is wet, it's consent. Or if she didn't push him physically, consent again. 

I had a couple of guy friends who said they were accused of rape and went on crusades on bringing awareness of misaccusation. To always ask the man for his story too. That it's also the woman's responsibility to make it clear. (Truthfully the woman is usually clear, but the man decide not to acknowledge it). 

So I asked for their stories and guess what? All of them actually raped the woman they said they didn't rape, but they refused to acknowledge it. None of them could confirm she consented. They just went around like "well she did that and that.. so that's consent".  No man can acknowledge they're rapist and be okay with that. So the best course of action is to deny there was a rape, and it wasn't rape. 

 

[ivankiss]

God I love women.

I love them small, I love them big. I love them short, I love them tall. Ok, maybe not too tall and not too big. But God do I love women.

I love their ability to mesmerize. To seduce. To draw you in. To make you forget about your name. To make you feel like the earth stopped spinning for a moment. Like time has frozen. Like there is no one else in this entire Universe.

Women are absolutely awesome and gorgeous. I'm a total sucker for them. It's just the truth. 

Some can do you nasty - that's true. And it's likely that it's becaus they have been done nasty by dudes. Not much we can do about it. It's all just a wild game of love.

[Preety_India]

@mivafofa some women just want a guy to simp her and make the guy feel like he is being loved, I have had guy friends tell me that, it's incredibly frustrating because in the end she rejects him when she finds another boy toy and he realizes he was being played for a fool 

Trust me, let's not make it look like all women are saints and angels and only men are wrong each time. 

Sometimes women do things that can annoy men and frustrate them. 

But such women rarely take responsibility for their own actions and instead blame the guy because her ego can't handle that she was wrong. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@ivankiss

6 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

God I love women.

I love them small, I love them big. I love them short, I love them tall. Ok, maybe not too tall and not too big. But God do I love women.

I love their ability to mesmerize. To seduce. To draw you in. To make you forget about your name. To make you feel like the earth stopped spinning for a moment. Like time has frozen. Like there is no one else in this entire Universe.

Women are absolutely awesome and gorgeous. I'm a total sucker for them. It's just the truth. 

Some can do you nasty - that's true. And it's likely that it's becaus they have been done nasty by dudes. Not much we can do about it. It's all just a wild game of love.

Off topic.

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly lol. Cute. You're less Harlen Kelly and more Harley Quinn of the dating forum. 

[Harlen Kelly]

11 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

putting his desires on the side to tune it to her desire and needs (Because her pleasure is his pleasure).

Why should a man prioritize the need of a woman? What if the opposite was stated, a woman should prioritize the need of a man, how does that sound?

That's very inequitable thinking.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[ivankiss]

3 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@ivankiss

Off topic.

I know. I'm not interested in joining in on the topic. Will not disturb.

[mivafofa]

@Preety_India I'm myself to be blamed to have seek validation when I used to lack self-esteem and not know better as a teen.  But I ALWAYS made it clear when I didn't want the sex.  Yes I wanted to play around. No I didn't want the sex.  I verbally and physically expressed that. How the man takes it was another story.  I found that the men that have a higher EQ or the men that actually cares about you are the ones who easily pick it up and get the right picture of what's going on. 

 

@Lucas-fgm  I understand... I also made many mistakes as a teen, even as a young adult and still sometimes do. Most important is we learn from it.

[Preety_India]

@mivafofa the women I'm talking about will never give any clear sign and even have sex with the guy just to have pleasure and then dump and act like they were never interested. 

Or later Blame the guy and call it rape or non consensual sex. 

In western circles, there is a term for it, 

It's called - regret sex. 

 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@mivafofa the women I'm talking about will never give any clear sign and even have sex with the guy just to have pleasure and then dump and act like they were never interested. 

 

That definitely happens, but those are not most cases. 

[mivafofa]

6 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Why should a man prioritize the need of a woman? What if the opposite was stated, a woman should prioritize the need of a man, how does that sound?

That's very inequitable thinking.

I was speaking in sexual terms. Are you just gonna care about your pleasure and your dick?  Won't you care about her pleasure as well?  If you're able to tune in to her desire before yours is a good way to make a woman feel safe.  How else do you think a woman can trust you with her body?  

[Preety_India]

8 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

That definitely happens, but those are not most cases. 

My objective was to show a balanced side. I think it's unfair to put all the blame solely on men for not being able to understand consent related issues. Sometimes it's also how women behave that can be terribly misleading and confusing. She can make it look like she wants him to kiss her and then act offended if he tried and blame him or even accuse him of molestation and make it all his fault. 

A man's confusion is not always a man's fault if a woman has her hand in it. 

A woman giving clear signs and the man still misreading it is totally the guy being aggressive. 

But it's not all one sided. 

When we're trying to hear out women, let's not sabotage a man's opinion on how he feels confused and tricked by women 

Maybe women can improve their behaviors as well? 

Are we going to pretend like women can never go wrong? 

 

Edited June 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Shin]

20 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Somehow some men just don't pick it up, probably delusionally projecting their desire onto her like @Eternity pointed it out.

It's not just that, even though there is plenty of that for sure.

Let's face it, there is an imbalance in our society, lots of men are nice guys or assholes, rarely in between (there wouldn't be so much complaint if there were the minority).

None of those two read body language very well, and if they do (mostly assholes), well they're assholes.

Even the guys that are in between don't necessarily know how to read body language very well either, that's just not something men are naturally good with, not only that, but speaking implicitly too.

 

[Tangerinedream]

Mixed signals are the answer in itself.  When a guy or girl give mixed signals, just don’t fuck with them..  if Someone makes you confused then simply refuse to play their game and back off 

[Tangerinedream]

35 minutes ago, Eternity said:

I was puzzled by the word "incel" so I looked it up.  Somewhat cult like and sadly so focused on blaming women for their dating failures:

 

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/a20078774/what-are-incels/

 

Yes incelism is becoming an epidemic 

(I also learned about incels here) 

Edited June 15, 2021 by Tangerinedream

[Harlen Kelly]

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

My objective was to show a balanced side. I think it's unfair to put all the blame solely on men for not being able to understand consent related issues. Sometimes it's also how women behave that can be terribly misleading and confusing. She can make it look like she wants him to kiss her and then act offended if he tried and blame him or even accuse him of molestation and make it all his fault. 

A man's confusion is not always a man's fault if a woman has her hand in it. 

A woman giving clear signs and the man still misreading it is totally the guy being aggressive. 

But it's not all one sided. 

When we're trying to hear out women, let's not sabotage a man's opinion on how he feels confused and tricked by women 

Maybe women can improve their behaviors as well? 

Are we going to pretend like women can never go wrong? 

I understand the sentiment and the balanced view, but the vast majority of brutal rapes ( knifes, beating, kidnapping, etc.. ) go unpunished. A balanced view would take this fact into consideration. 

 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

I understand the sentiment and the balanced view, but the vast majority of brutal rapes ( knifes, beating, kidnapping, etc.. ) go unpunished. A balanced view would take this fact into consideration. 

 

Of course I take the brutal stuff into consideration. But I'm not going to give women the leverage simply because of that. 

In a particular case, if a woman is wrong then she is wrong. 

In another case, if a man is wrong then he is wrong 

I don't like generalizations, of course I understand general statistics. 

But in such matters, everything is case by case and not all black and white. 

Nuance is important in matters of dating and man woman relations. 

[Harlen Kelly]

15 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

I was speaking in sexual terms. Are you just gonna care about your pleasure and your dick?  Won't you care about her pleasure as well?  If you're able to tune in to her desire before yours is a good way to make a woman feel safe.  How else do you think a woman can trust you with her body?  

Are you just going to care about your pleasure as a woman? If you are able to tune in to his desires before yours is a good way to make a man feel wanted. How else do you think a man would want to have sex with you?

Your perspective is highly biased towards women, which is understandable. 

[Etherial Cat]

25 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Why should a man prioritize the need of a woman? What if the opposite was stated, a woman should prioritize the need of a man, how does that sound?

That's very inequitable thinking.

It's not a question of gender. It's a question of being loving to your partner. This is better done when you're not being a selfish ass just interested in taking. 

Sex if done consciously is also applied spirituality and an art of love.

Ideally, both partner take pleasure from giving to one another. It anyway result in all needs being covered.