One of the most important thing to understand about women

[mandyjw]

34 minutes ago, Hulia said:

This is what I mean you rose into this role - a fearful female. We all did. More or less depending on the culture of where we are from. And what this woman does - she tries to set in concrete this role thing. 

Yep, ironically I realized that it really was my fault. `Not sure if that makes any sense, but I allowed those who wanted to protect me to overly instill fear in me, and therefore I felt the fear and harmed myself. 

I highly recommend this book for any spirituality inclined woman who wants to take her power back and learn to trust the Univere/herSelf. Trusting anyone else, even if they have your best interests and safety at heart is folly.  https://www.amazon.com/Outrageous-Openness-Letting-Divine-Take-ebook/dp/B00J0YT4W2/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=outrageous+openness&qid=1623778702&sr=8-1 Also Abraham Hicks. 

 

[Jodistrict]

I recently had a long conversation with two young women at a San Pedro ceremony, and their issue is that they wanted to find out how to love themselves.  They were also tired of putting on the false mask and wanted friendships where they could be authentic.  If you want to understand women, just talk to them in an authentic way.  But you have to do it in person.   

[mivafofa]

11 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India :'((((

I do not understand why men rape, if they are so sexually frustrated then get a hooker or something. 

Because most of the time, they're not aware it's rape. They think if a woman is wet, it's consent. Or if she didn't push him physically, consent again. 

I had a couple of guy friends who said they were accused of rape and went on crusades on bringing awareness of misaccusation. To always ask the man for his story too. That it's also the woman's responsiility to make it clear. (Truthfully the woman is usually clear, but the man decide not to acknowledge it). 

So I asked for their stories and guess what? All of them actually raped the woman they said they didn't rape, but they refused to acknowledge it. None of them could confirm she consented. They just went around like "well she did that and that.. so that's consent".  No man can acknowledge they're rapist and be okay with that. So the best course of action is to deny there was a rape, and it wasn't rape. 

[Shin]

4 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@mivafofa How can male friends rape you?  Those are not friends. Unless you are both super drunk and the girl has been leading you on then there is no way that can happen. Screen your friends better, guys that would do that to a female friends are pieces of shit.

You have no idea lol

The number of times I heard this shit back in highschool, it's everywhere.

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Women having sex when they don't want it is much more common than just a rape by a stranger.

I know women/girls who've been put some pressure by their boyfriend and/or husband to have sex even when they would rather not.

I had a boyfriend who would extorcate sex from me by telling me normal people had sex a defined number of time a week, and turn to me like I owed him the weekly quota. 

«But you accepted to do it, you gave consent !»

As a man I agree it's very hard to conceive the concept of coercion.

Unless you've been coerced at your job or in a very toxic friendship circle, this isn't even a thing for men.

It just seems like an excuse if you didn't research it or were open enough to believe your female friends.

[Hulia]

9 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@mivafofa How can male friends rape you?  Those are not friends. Unless you are both super drunk and the girl has been leading you on then there is no way that can happen. Screen your friends better, guys that would do that to a female friends are pieces of shit.

This is exactly what I am telling. I cannot even imagine such a thing with my friends. I didn´t mention the part with super drunk. But it´s true

THis was my only concern - not to get too drunk with strangers. The friends have never used my drunkiness, though there were some opportunities. 

[mivafofa]

17 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@mivafofa How can male friends rape you?  Those are not friends. Unless you are both super drunk and the girl has been leading you on then there is no way that can happen. Screen your friends better, 

 

21 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

And nobody, rarely anybody unless they went through it themselves, would understand or believe you. Everyone will victim blame the whole situation.

Even though the so-called guy "friend" literally plotted and tailored the incident from the beginning, it's still the fault of the woman.

 

Edited June 15, 2021 by mivafofa

[Preety_India]

I never drink so I never have to worry about this. 

 

Hehe. 

 

[Hulia]

@Preety_India Now I don´t drink either. But in my student years I did, we all did. And it is really a very vulnerable state for a woman. 

[Etherial Cat]

1 minute ago, Shin said:

You have no idea lol

The number of times I heard this shit back in highschool, it's everywhere.

«But you accepted to do it, you gave consent !»

As a man I agree it's very hard to conceive the concept of coercion.

Unless you've been coerced at your job or in a very toxic friendship circle, this isn't even a thing for men.

It just seems like an excuse if you didn't research it or were open enough to believe your female friends.

There are several qualities of consent and degrees of coercion. I think this is why it can be so hard, unfortunately.

The best is obviously a big yes . 

 

[Hulia]

@Preety_India Maybe I will write later a story how I became unwillingly a witness of two guys plotting my rape. Or rather two offended kittens fantasizing about it  

Well it was scary, but also funny.

[Preety_India]

@Hulia hehe 

[intotheblack]

39 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

How can male friends rape you?

This is a common tactic, worming ones way in and taking advantage of the situation.

Most rapes and sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. Whether it be a family member, an acquaintance or friend.. Being attacked by a stranger is in the lower numbers.  Although that it is what is more commonly feared, walking alone at night etc.

 

[intotheblack]

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence 

https://www.google.de/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-43128350.amp

Edited June 15, 2021 by intotheblack

[mivafofa]

And also, if any men here wondering why a woman wouldn't physically push away a guy forcing themselves on them, it's also out of fear. 

We are quite aware, believe me, quite aware of our physical limitation, especially when the moment arises. Honestly what good can it do against a man? What if he hits back? He already displayed he's not afraid to cross boundaries.  Now you're not just raped, you're beaten and raped. 

 

Sometimes You Make Your Rapist Breakfast

If anyone interested, here's an article that covers well how women have a natural instinct to "tending" and be liable when they're faced with violence. It's a survival technique.

[Karmadhi]

@mivafofa Well there is a fine line between "hard to fuck" and "rape". As a guy you have to be a hard closer otherwise you will miss a lot of girls. Even Leo advises it, however there is a big difference between rape and pushing for sex. Often girls have these anti slut shields which you can break and then have sex with her. Rape in my book is if the girl gives you a super hard NO. You do not need to be a genious to tell if a girl wants to fuck you and is playing hard to fuck or legit does not want to and proceding would be basically raping her. I think a lot of these cases happen because either people are drunk or the guy is a complete moron.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Karmadhi

[mivafofa]

11 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Rape in my book is if the girl gives you a super hard NO. 

Funny you'd confirm it right after I mention how most men are not aware of what's rape.  Don't take it wrong, we're all learning here but that last sentence reminded me of what one of my female friend shared with me. 

 

[Karmadhi]

@mivafofa The thing is that guys believe that girls actually want to fuck them but will pretend like they do not want to so they wont look like a slut or easy. That is why guys are taught to push for sex until they get a hard NO. Honestly if a guy did not push for sex at all his success rate would decrease dramatically. If a girl says like hmmm i dont know, maybe im not feeling ready etc that to me is not a hard no. A hard is no is exactly what it implies. NO!!!

[Etherial Cat]

2 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Funny you'd confirm it right after I mention how most men are not aware of what's rape.  Don't take it wrong, we're all learning here but that last sentence reminded me of what one of my female friend shared with me. 

 

Very much so. I get the chills when I hear men talking of hard close, because if I think about it, a lot of rapist will perceive their action as being a hard close and not a crossing the line action.

Just now, Karmadhi said:

@mivafofa The thing is that guys believe that girls actually want to fuck them but will pretend like they do not want to so they wont look like a slut or easy. That is why guys are taught to push for sex until they get a hard NO. Honestly if a guy did not push for sex at all his success rate would decrease dramatically. If a girl says like hmmm i dont know, maybe im not feeling ready etc that to me is not a hard no. A hard is no is exactly what it implies. NO!!!

Consent doesn't mean stopping when you get shouted NO. It is looking for a YES.

Are you aware that a lot of rape victim do not say no out of fear or freeze up? 

[intotheblack]

22 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Even Leo advises it, however there is a big difference between rape and pushing for sex.

And this is why it needs to be discussed here for more awareness, because nothing ever gets mentioned about consent. Guys tell eachother not to listen to girls opinions on this. 

@bejapuskas made a comment about this before on another thread. 

 

[Raptorsin7]

Is this general insecure feeling woman deal with the main reason they find height and size so attractive?