One of the most important thing to understand about women

[Hulia]

15 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Thx for this thread.

To me the biggest problem doesn't lie in the streets among strangers, it lies among those you trusted and thought they were friends. 

There are so many men who would just play the cards right until the opportunity rises. The world can be so scary..

Have your male friends tried to rape you?

[mivafofa]

24 minutes ago, Hulia said:

The stuff she explains, works only on her fantasy. In real life it doesn´t work.

Think of all the couples you know. 

Ohh giirll I'm sorry I don't wanna go against you here but I'm a little bit cringing at what you're saying here ? You sound like one of these men she's literally talking about.. 

For the stuffs she explains, I felt it, all my female friends felt it. Even in couple. Could you please not spread misinformation here..? Especially seeing here the men are making a legit effort trying to understand us. You're just gonna confuse them. I don't want to shade you I really don't want to debate this. I'm really sorry if it comes out wrong, but please if you can't understand anything, avoid critisizing, try listening. Maybe have a little more experience of the outside world to raise your understanding. Thank you.

Edited June 15, 2021 by mivafofa

[mandyjw]

I grew up in such a sheltered environment with such sheltering people around me that I took the belief on myself that if something bad happened it was my fault for venturing out. So I never went to a club, never drank alcohol outside my house and didn't even go to college. 

[Vzdoh]

3 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Ohh giirll I'm sorry I don't wanna go against you here but I'm a little bit cringing at what you're saying here ? You sound like one of these men she's literally talking about.. 

For the stuffs she explains, I felt it, all my female friends felt it. Even in couple. Could you please not spread misinformation here..? Especially seeing here the men are making a legit effort trying to understand us. You're just gonna confuse them. I don't want to shade you I really don't want to debate this. I'm sorry if it comes out wrong, but please if you can't understand anything, you don't critisize, you listen. Maybe have a little more experience of the outside world to raise your understanding. Thank you.

I have the same feeling about @Hulia

Her comments feel like she is a dude. 

How can female not understand this? 

Every interaction I have with the guy ALWAYS ends up with guys showing interest in sex, ALWAYS. Friends or otherwise. 

When I was young, I was hanging out with guy friends of my bro in a group and there was a point where I clearly saw it is becoming sexual and I got really scared of the possibility of a group rape. And they were friends of my bro!!! I left abruptly feeling severely unsafe. 

I just refuse to believe that there is a woman in this world that does not experience this fear on a daily basis. 

 

[Hulia]

4 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

I grew up in such a sheltered environment with such sheltering people around me that I took the belief on myself that if something bad happened it was my fault for venturing out. So I never went to a club, never drank alcohol outside my house and didn't even go to college. 

This is what I mean you rose into this role - a fearful female. We all did. More or less depending on the culture of where we are from. And what this woman does - she tries to set in concrete this role thing. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

I just refuse to believe that there is a woman in this world that does not experience this fear on a daily basis. 

You mean fear of rape? 

 

[Vzdoh]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

You mean fear of rape? 

 

Fear of unwanted sexual advances. Can be rape, can be someone u have 0 attraction for, trying to force kiss you and touch you, fear of being unsafe and weak on a dark street. Many fears. 

And this is exactly the fear that drives women to look for protection and security in a relationship with a man. And if we don't feel that protection, most likely relationship won't last long. Because being protected is when we can finally fully relax and enjoy simply being... 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Vzdoh said:

Fear of unwanted sexual advances. Can be rape, can be someone u have 0 attraction for, trying to force kiss you and touch you, fear of being unsafe and weak on a dark street. Many fears. 

And this is exactly the fear that drives women to look for protection and security in a relationship with a man. And if we don't feel that protection, most likely relationship won't last long. Because being protected is when we can finally fully relax and enjoy simply being... 

Agree. 

I have the fear of rape almost daily. It has become a habit now to  always look over my shoulders if I'm alone in a place or around stranger men. 

Edited June 15, 2021 by Preety_India

[Karmadhi]

Is rape common where you women live?

[Shin]

I usually see women looking at me strangely in the streets.

It's very common in very specific situations : At night or/and in secluded place, if she is alone or with one friend.

In any other kind of situation it doesn't seem to be the case, it actually flips cause I always smile.

That's not a role women learn, it's just the truth, men if toxic and lustful enough will rape or coerce a woman into sex if given the chance.

The fear is legitimate, it's a fact, there is nothing to argue about here on this premise.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Shin

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Is rape common where you women live?

Yea. 

 

[Hulia]

5 minutes ago, Vzdoh said:

Fear of unwanted sexual advances. Can be rape, can be someone u have 0 attraction for, trying to force kiss you and touch you, fear of being unsafe and weak on a dark street. Many fears. 

And this is exactly the fear that drives women to look for protection and security in a relationship with a man. And if we don't feel that protection, most likely relationship won't last long. Because being protected is when we can finally fully relax and enjoy simply being... 

I feel unsafe on the dark street alone. But I am not very often on the dark street alone. So everyday fear of rape would be an exageration.

My friends would never rape me, and the friends of my friends neither. I cannot even imagine it. Unwanted sexual advance is extremely unpleasant but not fearful. I could always stop it. 

Guys where do you live? Not every man is an asshole and even if he is an asshole, rape is a crime, not every asshole would risk it.

And even if you are in a relationship, your man wouldn´t be everywhere and always on your side. You still will spend a lot of time on the street alone

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India :'(((((

I do not understand why men rape, if they are so sexually frustrated then get a hooker or something. Maybe they like the idea of having power over someone? Society should try to eliminate the rape problem, it is really a pain in the ass for most females.

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi they want to see fear in the eyes of victims. Sociopathic behavior. Need for power and control and seeing fear is fun for such people I guess. They relive those experiences in their minds. 

 

[Etherial Cat]

@Shin

Thanks for creating these threads.

I just watched the video and It's really accurate. Since most of this is occurring on a subconscious level, I also got the chance to learn a few things there as a woman.

I've been contemplating on the importance of trust in female/male relationships before and I've found it to be one of the corner stone of a functioning dynamic.

I'd say that there are two dynamic with men in general. Either they make me feel safe and I trust that they respect my needs, or it's the opposite and I fear their agression.

A lot of time, it's a spectrum... but I'm only fulfilled in scenario one. A good man is a man that I perceive as trustworthy, protective and able to emotionally relate to me so I feel protected on several level (physically, emotionally, intellectually...). I guess that's what Teal talked about when she described attunement.

When I feel aggressed I withdraw. I can't be open. I get defensive and I sulk. Because I'm just not safe to be me. I don't feel loved nor protected. And this happens as soon as there is a violation of boundary. I get especially displeased if I realize that there is no intimacy going on and depending on the level of it, I just decide to sign off to the relationship.

On the other hand, when I feel trust, I'm open and able to be in my feminine. My femininity depends highly on how much I am able to be made feminine in an environment. If I spend a lot of time protecting my emotions and my boundaries, well, it's all that energy not used on the "right tasks".

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Sick shit, that is pure sadism not even sociopath. 

[mivafofa]

19 minutes ago, Shin said:

Do you mean that you've been attacked by guys you thought were friends ? Or that you can't trust a guy to be just a friend, that he has necessarily a plan to have sex with you, even though he doesn't act on it ?

I'm gonna speak more about the former because, unlike the later, I experienced hell of danger from this. "Attack" is not the right word to describe it. They don't "attack". They just go for it when your guards are down or won your trust as a friend. It could be as simple as going to rooms, being intoxicated (drunk), or having friendly sleepovers or even watching a fucking movie on the couch. Y'know you guys drank and went to each other's room a couple of times before, like friends do, it was all safe. Your trust is settled. Your friends knows him well too.

Then that's when it happens. When you're consciously faced with that situation - by the hand of a man you trusted wholeheartedly would never do this - 99% of the time you will freeze out of confusion and terror.  And the rapist will use this as consent. And nobody, rarely anybody unless they went through it themselves, would understand or believe you. Everyone including yourself at first will victim blame the whole situation (shouldnt have drinked, shouldnt have slept, shouldnt have gone to his house, etc). Even though the so-called guy "friend" literally plotted and tailored the incident from the beginning, it's still the fault of the woman. It's quite awful.

 

13 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Have your male friends tried to rape you?

Obviously. I don't know many women who didn't experience this or at least some coercion into sex.  But thx to this, my red flags list is really detailed and reliable now. Just sucks these kinda things are learnt the hard way.

[Karmadhi]

@mivafofa How can male friends rape you?  Those are not friends. Unless you are both super drunk and the girl has been leading you on then there is no way that can happen. Screen your friends better, guys that would do that to a female friends are pieces of shit.

[RendHeaven]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

@mivafofa How can male friends rape you?  Those are not friends. Unless you are both super drunk and the girl has been leading you on then there is no way that can happen. Screen your friends better, guys that would do that to a female friends are pieces of shit.

lmao oh boy

[Etherial Cat]

Women having sex when they don't want it is much more common than just a rape by a stranger.

I know women/girls who've been put some pressure by their boyfriend and/or husband to have sex even when they would rather not.

I had a boyfriend who would extorcate sex from me by telling me normal people had sex a defined number of time a week, and turn to me like I owed him the weekly quota. 

Edited June 15, 2021 by Etherial Cat