One of the most important thing to understand about women

[Shin]

 

I encourage the women of the forum to speak out about this.

This is serious stuff, to feel fear that much as often.

If you guys think this is only in third world country or China, think again.

Imagine that at any moment, especially at night, if you're alone, you could be raped.

This is no joke, and understanding women starts there.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Shin This is one of the main reasons why some men develop a deep animosity towards women, because they don't have any compassion or understanding of the female experience. 

Which also applies to women when it comes to the male experience. Unfortunately most men and women are completely submerged in their own survival and care very little for the experience of other sex. 

[Shin]

40 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Shin This is one of the main reasons why some men develop a deep animosity towards women, because they don't have any compassion or understanding of the female experience. 

Which also applies to women when it comes to the male experience. Unfortunately most men and women are completely submerged in their own survival and care very little for the experience of other sex. 

Yeah it applies to both sides, but since we have few women and lots of men here, the priority is to understand women.

We need to avoid to create an echo chamber about this, and this is done by women speaking up, and actually talking about and understanding their point of view.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Shin

[Harlen Kelly]

14 minutes ago, Shin said:

We need to avoid to create an echo chamber about this, and this is done by women speaking up, and actually talking and understanding their point of view.

Sounds good to me.

Edited June 15, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[intotheblack]

Thankyou  

Here is list of some usual things that women do or have done in the past, for safety reasons, usually at night… 

- -

Walking with our keys grasped between our fingers in case we need to use them as a weapon 

Making sure to have the correct key out and ready before we get to our door

When someone is walking closely behind us on the street, we stop to pretend to make a phone call or otherwise occupy ourselves to allow them to pass in front of us

Scope out potential safe spots if someone appears to be following us.

Stay in well-lit areas at night even if it means taking a longer route.

Change direction if a car or someone appears to be following us while we're walking on foot.

Run outdoors with only one earbud or none to keep aware of our surroundings

Pretend to listen to music or fake a phone call while walking by men who attempt to engage with us.

Take alternative routes

Cross the street when we see a group of men, incase they say something to us  

Late at night, cross to the other side of the street when anyone is walking towards us.

Avoid eye contact with men trying to get our attention.

Paying extra for taxi over taking public transport at night 

Avoid entering a staircase or elevators occupied by only one other person who is a stranger.

Text a friend or send location before going to meet with a stranger  

 Avoid social situations if a man whose prior advance made us uncomfortable might be there.

Decide not to open Facebook messages from unknown men, who could see the message has been "Read" and become hostile and harassing.

Buy pepper spray if travelling alone often 

Make sure we're not the only woman on the metro or bus 

Avoid getting off at our bus or train stop if a man who has been staring exits at the same time. 

Driving in a circle if we sense we might be followed 

making a fake phone call when taking a taxi alone at night

Never leaving drinks unattended at a party 

Running home in the dark 

Edited June 15, 2021 by intotheblack

[Gili Trawangan]

@intotheblack Eye-opening, thanks for sharing.

[Shin]

26 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

Never leaving drinks unattended at a party

What do you mean ?

[Gili Trawangan]

Just now, Shin said:

What do you mean ?

@Shin They might get drugged.. a guy slipping a roofie in their drink.

[Shin]

13 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Shin They might get drugged.. a guy slipping a roofie in their drink.

Jesus that didn't even come to mind.

You need to be so fucked up to do that

[MatteO22]

11 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Shin They might get drugged.. a guy slipping a roofie in their drink.

@Shin I used to have a female friend at uni who once got roofied. She just felt extremely sick and made it home. She kinda brushed it off.

I think one of the harms of these phenomena is that women themselves are desensitised to them. As if ‘needing to be careful about getting roofied should be the norm’. It absolutely fucking shouldn’t, I feel like there needs to be more outrage around such things. I’m not a woman but stories like that get me going. I like taking these insane normalised standards seriously, otherwise we’re keeping alive a culture of rape and abuse. It should not be normalised for any of us. 

 

The struggle is that the moment you start speaking up you will start being gaslit by society and your environment, which is problematic. Regardless, outrage is needed. 

[Opo]

13 minutes ago, MatteO22 said:

@Shin I think one of the harms of these phenomena is that women themselves are desensitised to them. As if ‘needing to be careful about getting roofied should be the norm’. It absolutely fucking shouldn’t, I feel like there needs to be more outrage around such things. I’m not a woman but stories like that get me going. I like taking these insane normalised standards seriously, otherwise we’re keeping alive a culture of rape and abuse. It should not be normalised for any of us.

I'm with you but in the club environment we are a minority. 

I've heard of women doing this with ecstasy pills and thinking it's funny, and no one was outraged. The most common response was why didn't they do it to me. 

To be fair we were young and retarded. I hope that they grew up but I doubt it's by a lot. 

If you want to hear a deeper story about this go on yt and listen how Air drugged Bert. He even took a polygraph test after and said that he didn't regret it and it came out true, while people laughed in the background. 

1 hour ago, intotheblack said:

Walking with our keys grasped between our fingers in case we need to use them as a weapon 

If I was a rapist and I saw them between your fingers I would just grab your arms. Since my arms are longer and stronger I can grab them and control them safely. 

For this to work it needs to be a surprise. Practice popping them in between your fingers from a position where they aren't visible. 

Try to visualize stabbing someone in the eye and running away immediately. If you do it you will reduce the chance of you panicking and freezing and of course it will make you faster. 

Best option for safety is of course a handgun. But for that you need to be ready to kill a person and train with it. They'll sense it if you aren't ready. 

If that's too much as you said pepper sprays are a great option. Better than the keys and you should also practice deploying it so you don't mess up under stress or it takes you too long. 

Good luck. 

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, Opo said:

f I was a rapist and I saw them between your fingers I would just grab your arms. Since my arms are longer and stronger I can grab them and control them safely. 

For this to work it needs to be a surprise. Practice popping them in between your fingers from a position where they aren't visible. 

Try to visualize stabbing someone in the eye and running away immediately. If you do it you will reduce the chance of you panicking and freezing and of course it will make you faster. 

Best option for safety is of course a handgun. But for that you need to be ready to kill a person and train with it. They'll sense it if you aren't ready. 

If that's too much as you said pepper sprays are a great option. Better than the keys and you should also practice deploying it so you don't mess up under stress or it takes you too long. 

I suppose the keys are just giving a false sense of security. it’s something you always have with you,  I would just hold the keys in my hand so just one key was spiking out.  Probably couldn’t see this in the dark. But yeah, I’m sure in reality I wouldn’t stand a chance since I would be physically weaker.  
I live in Europe we don’t have guns here, but I’d probably feel like I needed one if I was in the US lol. 

when my sister lived alone in London she had to go down a dark street to get to her flat, so she used to keep a pointed metal nail file and some kind of spray in her bag for when she was working at the pub late night.  
When she got off the bus she would then peg it down the street to the door. 
She also wanted us to be tracking eachother on the ‘find my friends’ app, that’s how unsafe she felt living there.  She moved eventually. 

These days I’m rarely in these situations since I barely go out late night and am not travelling home alone much. But I was always on high alert when I was going out all the time when I was younger. 

[Hulia]

I don´t understand why the men of the forum like this swan woman. I could rather understand why the women do. 

Fear.

Do you men have no fear? Is it a pure femal problem? 

Is a woman in our society loaded with expectation to be brave and not fearful?  Really? Not a man? In the same video a swan reproaches men for judging a woman for her fear and judges men for being insecure and not providing safety to women. 

Really. I don´t understand this crazy stuff. Contradiction on contracdiction

[Opo]

11 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Fear.

Do you men have no fear? Is it a pure femal problem? 

I don't see why would I be afraid? 

Edit: oh shit I thought you were a guy. 

Nevertheless maybe this helps someone. 

But try to do this to develop understanding. 

When I imagine myself as a woman (small, weak..) and then I imagine that there are these big types of creatures that are horny all the time and if they wanted to rape me I couldn't do anything about it I get scared as shit. 

That's why I would carry a gun when I'm alone outside. But that's coming from a male perspective. I wouldn't have a problem with emptying a clip into a rapist. 

36 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

I live in Europe we don’t have guns here, but I’d probably feel like I needed one if I was in the US lol. 

Some countries allow carrying but in reality its probably overkill. 

Edited June 15, 2021 by Opo

[ivankiss]

I like what you're doing @Shin

Keep it up!

[Shin]

31 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I don´t understand why the men of the forum like this swan woman. I could rather understand why the women do. 

Fear.

Do you men have no fear? Is it a pure femal problem? 

Is a woman in our society loaded with expectation to be brave and not fearful?  Really? Not a man? In the same video a swan reproaches men for judging a woman for her fear and judges men for being insecure and not providing safety to women. 

Really. I don´t understand this crazy stuff. Contradiction on contracdiction

She doesn't judge, she explains how the stuff works, there is no contradiction if you understand what she's saying.

[Hulia]

22 minutes ago, Opo said:

When I imagine myself as a woman (small, weak..) and then I imagine that there are these big types of creatures that are horny all the time and if they wanted to rape me I couldn't do anything about it I get scared as shit. 

You might be horny all the time, but it doesn´t mean you would rape all the time. I cannot say that a fear of a rape is the major emotion of my life. Well when I am alone in the night in the park or in some insecure part of the city, yes it´s my major emotion. But how often have I been in such situations? maybe 0,001% of my life. And I guess when a small weak guy (not all of guys are big and strong) is in the insecure part of the city in the night, his major emotion is also fear. 

[Hulia]

4 minutes ago, Shin said:

She doesn't judge, she explains how the stuff works, there is no contradiction if you understand what she's saying.

The stuff she explains, works only on her fantasy. In real life it doesn´t work.

Think of all the couples you know. 

[mivafofa]

Thx for this thread.

To me the biggest problem doesn't lie in the streets among strangers, it lies among those you trusted and thought they were friends. 

There are so many men who would just play the cards right until the opportunity rises. The world can be so scary..

 

47 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I don´t understand why the men of the forum like this swan woman.

-

Really. I don´t understand this crazy stuff. Contradiction on contracdiction

Because she's fcking great?  Idk what to say if you can't understand her videos... maybe try watching them without bias and add patience. (?)

Edited June 15, 2021 by mivafofa

[Shin]

12 minutes ago, mivafofa said:

Thx for this thread.

To me the biggest problem doesn't lie in the streets among strangers, it lies among those you trusted and thought they were friends. 

There are so many men who would just play the cards right until the opportunity rises. The world can be so scary..

Do you mean that you've been attacked by guys you thought were friends ? Or that you can't trust a guy to be just a friend, that he has necessarily a plan to have sex with you, even though he doesn't act on it ?

Edited June 15, 2021 by Shin