I've seen Leo's episode on How To Stop Backsliding, and it was really insightful and I was really happy that I found the video that I needed - The no bullshit explanation of how to make change in your life/how to stop procrastinating. I thought it would help me with starting to create music. So he talks about things like homeostasis, proper expectations, support system, meditation and visualization habits. Sorry if my issues sound stupid or silly to some but I'm telling you that I am honestly writing that and for me it is quite big. Anyways -  The issues: Visualization: I struggle to get on board with simply visualizing. I could visualize about visualizing.. about visualizing about visualizing... I just need this switch in my mind to start visualizing, because I feel I have mental resistance/dissonance towards building a vision in something realistic (and not like a dream) - I mean like visualizing me creating music on FL Studio (music software for those who don't know) and not me visualizing about myself being a great musician, being more reasonable. Also, isn't visualization counterproductive to developing awareness of thoughts?
Visualization presumes that I know what I want to achieve, the one thing, which leads me to my second struggle - Clarity: I said that I am very interested in getting into (more like back to) music creation and I feel that I could do really great in it if I put the effort. I would be quite obvious for me to solely focus on that since I believe it is probably one of the things that can change me the most, but is it the most important thing? It would be really nice to have a habit of creating music, but how do I know if it is more important than focusing on the habit of practicing piano which I've got back into not long ago? Or maybe focusing on developing my awareness is the number one thing I should be doing...maybe starting to invest my money and reading books on finance? Leo mentioned that focusing on 2 things is not good in producing success and that it is the best to focus on one thing at a time. For me this will probably be hard as I tend to switch objectives. But let's say I have managed to get clear and focused on one thing, I feel like my life would be boring only putting my focus on it. And even when I achieve it and I move to the next, and next, and next, I will already lose progress from the things I've already changed and will go back to normal. I really struggle getting clear on what I want and I'm also entering a new phase of my life, quite scary for me if I'm being honest, and this in itself is already threatening my homeostasis. So how do I deal with those 2 major issues? It will really change the world for me if you could provide me with solutions to this very very tricky vicious rut that I've been stuck in for years already and took a long time to just get basic understanding of what's going on with me thanks to Leo's videos and especially this one.