Evrything happens by itself. Freaking out

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

I do not know if i can digest this.

The body moves by itself without any effort or decision. Mind flows emotions flows...

I'm not the doer of my life anymore. Walking without knowing where i'm going, what is going to happen in 5 minutes i do not know, not knowing what tomorrow is. 

Ego is trying to come back as violently as possibile, but it does not work any more.

What Taoist called Wu Wei, doing without doing seemed a nice and pretty concept before, but know is terribile to handle life wiht this. I do not know why i'm writing  this post, i know that nothing can help anymore no technique no teaching no effort to achieve. 

Who the fuck is the doer who decides my actions my ideas and so on ? Do not know if i can come back to life with this 

Edited June 10, 2021 by Giulio Bevilacqua
wrong title

[WaveInTheOcean]

Let it happen.

Have faith in God/Nature/Life/The Universe... Just fucking faith

Love ??

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@WaveInTheOcean i'm not ready. Seriously 

[caspex]

You're not even doing yourself

[Mason Riggle]

Don't worry. Everything will be okay in the end.. if everything is not okay, it's not the end. 

[The0Self]

8 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

I do not know if i can digest this.

The body moves by itself without any effort or decision. Mind flows emotions flows...

I'm not the doer of my life anymore. Walking without knowing where i'm going, what is going to happen in 5 minutes i do not know, not knowing what tomorrow is. 

Ego is trying to come back as violently as possibile, but it does not work any more.

What Taoist called Wu Wei, doing without doing seemed a nice and pretty concept before, but know is terribile to handle life wiht this. I do not know why i'm writing  this post, i know that nothing can help anymore no technique no teaching no effort to achieve. 

Who the fuck is the doer who decides my actions my ideas and so on ? Do not know if i can come back to life with this 

Sounds like a bit of a glimpse. I’ve had many. Some are awesome, some are terrifying. When it is complete the fear you once had is laughable. It’s not even that the fear goes away, but no one is left to experience it, and it’s recognized nothing really changed. You have nothing to worry about. If you’re not ready, you’re not ready. When you cease not wanting this, this will be all that’s left, so you have nothing to worry about. If you don’t want the end, the end will simply not come, so you can relax.

[allislove]

@Giulio Bevilacqua

The idea that you are not a doer is just an idea. "Everything happens by itself or not" is just another idea. There is existence that allows for any idea to appear inside... direct all of your attention to the feeling 'I am'... relax.   

[WaveInTheOcean]

Read this. Translate from danish to English or w/e using google translate. I wrote it today in Danish. Let's call it a transmission or a download from CC (cosmic consciusness).

Alle former for bebrejdelse af andre er - i sidste ende - spild af tid. For ligegyldigt hvor meget skyld - hvor mange fejl og mangler - du ser i andre sjæle, og uanset hvor meget du klandrer dem, vil det ikke ændre dig, som den indre sjæl du selv er.
Det eneste, bebrejdelse gør, er, at det holder fokus væk fra det indre - dig selv - mens du (ubevidst) har travlt med at finde ydre årsager til at forklare dine indre frustrationer og tungsind.

Hvordan får man så et 'let sind' fyldt med tilfredshed med sig selv, andre, verden og 'tingene som de er' (acceptere, lytte, forstå, tilgive - observere frem for at dømme)? 

Jo, man 'giver slip' -- frem for at 'holde fast'. 
Man stopper med at prøve at forcere alting.

Man ser, at alting mere eller mindre faktisk sker helt af sig selv; ligesom at ens åndedræt, hjertebanken, fordøjelse, synssans, høresans, tanker og følelser jo faktisk 'sker' helt af sig selv, uden man behøver gøre noget. Lad tingene tage den tid, de har brug for. Livet er en uendelig, evig bevægelse, der ikke prøver - eller har behov for - at 'blive til noget bestemt'. 

Livet ER allerede fuldkommen magisk, særligt og mystisk. Og livet er denne evige, uendelige bevægelse, som folder sig ud af sig selv, over sig selv, ind i sig selv - helt ad sig selv.

En proces. Du er en del af processen. Og den er udefinerbar, uendelig og evig. Og alting skal nok gå i sidste ende.

Du behøver ikke tvinge dit hjerte til banke. Du behøver ikke tvinge din skjoldbruskkirtel til at danne thyroideahormoner, så dine celler kan fungere ordentligt. Du behøver ikke tvinge dig selv til at lytte ordentlig efter, når nogen snakker, eller når musikken spiller. Du behøver ikke tvinge dig selv til at 'se ordentligt', når du kigger på naturen, skyer, træer, film eller ind i andre menneskers funklende øjne.

Det sker helt ad sig selv, uden din indvirken.

Skyer laver alle mulige formationer og mærkelige bevægelser på himlen. Træer gror på alle tænkelige og utænkelige varierende måder - med skæve stammer og kaotiske forgreninger og blade og blomster i alle mulige uendelige former.

Laver skyer nogensinde fejl på himlen? Laver træer nogensinde fejl, når de gror? Laver et vandløb nogensinde fejl, når det strømmer gennem skovlandskabet eller ned ad bjerget?

At give slip er at acceptere tingene, som de er, og måske prøve at forstå, hvorfor de er som de er (frem for at dømme alting). Eller endnu bedre: man giver måske helt slip på behovet for at forstå alting; og accepterer i stedet, at der er mere mellem himmel og jord, og at ikke alting behøver - eller kan - forstås oppe i ens hoved.

Man kan nemlig også 'forstå' med kroppen (intuition, væren, instinkt, mavefornemmelse, jordforbindelse) & hjertet (følelser, forbundethed, empati, sympati, tilgivelse). Det er nogle helt andre former for forståelse, end den forståelse, der sker oppe i ens hoved (logik, fornuft, rationalitet, koncepter, tanker, ord, tid, årsag og virkning).

Når man begynder ’at forstå’ i ligevægt med alle tre centre (hoved, hjerte, krop), så får man pludselig en ekstrem indre ro - sindsligevægt - samt en uforklarlig håb og tro på, at alt i sidste ende nok skal løse sig. Andre, der måske endnu ikke har hele denne sammensmeltende forståelse og holistiske bevidsthed, vil måske se en som naiv og letsindig. Men det må de gerne. Og man kan ikke tvinge dem til ’at forstå tingene’ anderledes. Man kan kun vise dem vejen. Show, don’t tell.

Man begynder at give slip på 'sig selv' (gamle selv, gamle handlemønstre, gamle måder at være på, gamle fastlåste tankemønstre) og overgiver sig selv til 'naturen/universet', som den nu en gang er - i al sin 'harmoniske, kaotiske rene væren'; uden: 

- bebrejdelser,
- fordomme,
- sine egne 'indre dæmninger' (for naturens & universets ’strøm’),
- sine egne 'indre fængselsmure', man ubevidst har bygget op omkring sin inderste indre, rene, lysende, skinnende sjæl, fordi man troede, det var nødvendigt for at overleve i en verden, der ikke altid gav mening, da man var barn.

Og i denne accept, håb, tro og - frem for alt - åbenhed & nysgerrighed over for denne store verden, er der også en stor lyst og motivation til at prøve at ændre tingene til det bedre; så alle væsner på Jorden forhåbentlig en dag kan føle sig set, forstået, tilgivet, elsket og accepteret som de er; sådan så alle former for bevidsthed & liv en dag kan give fuldkommen slip, overgive sig selv og elske at leve og forandre og transformere og genføde sig selv igen og igen og igen i denne uendelige, evige, konstant for-anderlige og -underlige drøm, vi kalder livet.

"Faith is a state of openness or trust. To have faith is like when you trust yourself to the water. You don't grab hold of the water when you swim, because if you do you will become stiff and tight in the water, and sink. You have to relax, and the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging, and holding on. In other words, a person who is fanatic in matters of religion, science, atheiesm or other concepts & belief systems, and clings to certain ideas about the nature of God and/or the universe becomes a person who has no faith at all. Instead they are holding tight. But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be."

-- Alan Watts

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@allislove  i have to use words somehow to express. No word can describe what is occurring 

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

It's existence action, it's a happening, existence does trhough the individual body mind. 

[Loving Radiance]

I pasted it into DeepL @WaveInTheOcean Loved the read, thanks.

This is what came out @Giulio Bevilacqua. I don't know what to write to you. What I ask you is who has fear or has resistance? Who is sane and who is the doer?

Quote

 All forms of blaming others are - in the end - a waste of time. For no matter how much blame - how many faults - you see in other souls, and no matter how much you blame them, it will not change you as the inner soul you are.
All blame does is keep the focus off the inner self - yourself - while you (unconsciously) busy yourself finding external causes to explain your inner frustrations and melancholy.

So how do you get a 'light mind' filled with contentment with yourself, others, the world and 'things as they are' (accept, listen, understand, forgive - observe rather than judge)?

Well, you 'let go' -- rather than 'hold on'.
You stop trying to force everything.

You see that everything more or less actually happens all by itself; just as your breathing, heartbeat, digestion, sense of sight, sense of hearing, thoughts and feelings actually 'happen' all by themselves, without you having to do anything. Let things take the time they need. Life is a never-ending, eternal movement that doesn't try - or need - to 'become anything in particular'.

Life already IS perfectly magical, special and mysterious. And life is this eternal, never-ending movement that unfolds out of itself, over itself, into itself - all by itself.

A process. You are part of the process. And it is indefinable, infinite and eternal. And everything will work out in the end.

You don't have to force your heart to beat. You don't have to force your thyroid to make thyroid hormones for your cells to function properly. You don't have to force yourself to listen properly when someone is talking or when music is playing. You don't have to force yourself to 'look properly' when you look at nature, clouds, trees, films or into other people's sparkling eyes.

It happens all by itself, without your interference.

Clouds make all sorts of formations and strange movements in the sky. Trees grow in all imaginable and unimaginable varied ways - with crooked trunks and chaotic branches and leaves and flowers in all sorts of infinite shapes.

Do clouds ever make mistakes in the sky? Do trees ever make mistakes when they grow? Does a stream ever fail as it flows through the forest landscape or down the mountain?

To let go is to accept things as they are and perhaps try to understand why they are as they are (rather than judging everything). Or better still, perhaps letting go of the need to understand everything altogether; and accepting instead that there is more between heaven and earth, and that not everything needs - or can - be understood up in your head.

You can also 'understand' with your body (intuition, being, instinct, gut feeling, grounding) & heart (emotions, connectedness, empathy, forgiveness). These are completely different forms of understanding than the understanding that happens up in your head (logic, reason, rationality, concepts, thoughts, words, time, cause & effect).

When you start 'understanding' in balance with all three centres (head, heart, body), you suddenly get an extreme inner peace - balance of mind - as well as an inexplicable hope and belief that everything will eventually work out. Others, who may not yet have this whole merging understanding and holistic awareness, may see one as naive and reckless. But they may. And you can't force them to 'understand things' differently. You can only show them the way. Show, don't tell.

You begin to let go of 'yourself' (old self, old patterns of action, old ways of being, old fixed patterns of thought) and surrender yourself to 'nature/the universe' as it now is - in all its 'harmonious, chaotic purity'; without:

- reproaches,
- prejudices,
- its own 'inner dams' (to the 'flow' of nature & the universe),
- its own 'inner prison walls' that it has unconsciously built around its innermost pure, shining, shining soul, because it thought it was necessary to survive in a world that didn't always make sense when it was a child.

And in this acceptance, hope, faith and - above all - openness & curiosity towards this big world, there is also a great desire and motivation to try to change things for the better; so that hopefully one day all beings on Earth can feel seen, understood, forgiven, loved and accepted as they are; so that all forms of consciousness & life can one day let go completely, surrender themselves and love to live and change and transform and rebirth themselves again and again and again in this infinite, eternal, ever-changing and -wonderful dream we call life.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@Loving Radiance I do not know who the doer is or who has fear/resistance. There is fear and resistance nothing else. The main fear is that i will loose contact with my family, my house frineds activities that i used to do.

That poem has such a beauty and power, but hard to integrate into life 

Edited June 10, 2021 by Giulio Bevilacqua
wrong title

[Loving Radiance]

@Giulio Bevilacqua Where are these things arising?

Edited June 10, 2021 by Loving Radiance

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@Loving Radiance In a indefinable space, can not say anything about it 

[Mason Riggle]

@Giulio Bevilacqua bring attention to the present moment, which is all there is. Look around.. listen.. feel what is happening now.  Is there anything to fear presently? Anything to resist? If you are experiencing anxiety, you are lost in thoughts of the future which never comes. It's always now. 

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

@Mason Riggle You can not bring attention to the present moment, how can you DO that ? It is already there. If ones tries to be present he will inevitably create a tension within him self. 

[Loving Radiance]

@Giulio Bevilacqua Who identifies with fear & resistance?

[The0Self]

3 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

@Mason Riggle You can not bring attention to the present moment, how can you DO that ? It is already there. If ones tries to be present he will inevitably create a tension within him self. 

Exactly. Now is effortlessly all there is, which is probably part of what you're glimpsing. There's no center to what appears, and nothing can affect what appears, because nothing and no one is separate -- this is obvious, but only by virtue of not being not-obvious to anyone.

Edited June 10, 2021 by The0Self

[Mason Riggle]

@Giulio Bevilacqua okay, then don't.  I suppose if you're not 'doing' anything, there's nothing to do. 

Edited June 10, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[allislove]

47 minutes ago, Giulio Bevilacqua said:

@allislove  i have to use words somehow to express. No word can describe what is occurring 

Yep