I didn't kiss on the second date

[StarStruck]

She was all dolled up little blonde. Meeting me in a park. She had an amazing dress and I fell in love.

I was so nervous I couldn't kiss her.  We had a lot of fun discussions but I forgot to keep it male to female. I feel like I messed up. The hurt is so much that I wished I didn't start pickup/dating women. 

How could I have kissed her. She had a bag between us. I couldn't get close. My brain just wasn't working. 

Do you think I messed it up or am I overreacting? 

[Harlen Kelly]

@StarStruck Lol, it's ok, don't beat yourself up. Go for the kiss (preferably for the lay) next time you meet her. 

If this event affects your emotions negatively and she notices that, your chances of getting her will be slim to none. 

Something else, there are 100s of millions of blondes, if it does not work out with her then meet somebody else.

[Shin]

Just say you want to take a walk next time.

Then stop at a bridge and kiss her.

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

She was all dolled up little blonde. Meeting me in a park. She had an amazing dress and I fell in love.

I was so nervous I couldn't kiss her.  We had a lot of fun discussions but I forgot to keep it male to female. I feel like I messed up. The hurt is so much that I wished I didn't start pickup/dating women. 

How could I have kissed her. She had a bag between us. I couldn't get close. My brain just wasn't working. 

Do you think I messed it up or am I overreacting? 

That's one possible, *rational explanation, yet maybe the growth might be in discovering the emotional explanation. What emotions were you feeling during her ?

You already said "nervous".

What is this emotion. What would entail for you and your beliefs to not feel nervous around her ?

[hyruga]

It's good. Get to know her more and she will like you even more. Earn a genuine kiss.

[StarStruck]

20 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

That's one possible, *rational explanation, yet maybe the growth might be in discovering the emotional explanation. What emotions were you feeling during her ?

You already said "nervous".

What is this emotion. What would entail for you and your beliefs to not feel nervous around her ?

Nervousness comes from fear. Fear of loss. Fear of heartbreak. Fear of life. That is exactly how I'm feeling right now. I loved my incel life. These emotions are too much life.

I shouldn't resist life but I don't know how.

1 hour ago, Shin said:

Just say you want to take a walk next time.

Then stop at a bridge and kiss her.

Thanks.

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@StarStruck Lol, it's ok, don't beat yourself up. Go for the kiss (preferably for the lay) next time you meet her. 

If this event affects your emotions negatively and she notices that, your chances of getting her will be slim to none. 

Something else, there are 100s of millions of blondes, if it does not work out with her then meet somebody else.

I'm in love with her. I know I'm irrational and that I shouldn't be like this.

[Harlen Kelly]

29 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm in love with her. I know I'm irrational and that I shouldn't be like this.

She might friendzone you if you just met her and are becoming needy.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Harlen Kelly said:

She might friendzone you if you just met her and are becoming needy.

Next date, if I get one, I will just be man to women, and not have expectations.

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, StarStruck said:

The hurt is so much that I wished I didn't start pickup/dating women. 

Pain is how you learn, son.

Quote

How could I have kissed her. She had a bag between us. I couldn't get close.

A fucking bag?? Are you serious? That's your excuse?

Kissing a girl is easy. Half-way through the 1st date as you are walking with her and holding hands, you stop her cold, put your hands on her shoulders, turn her towards you, square up to her, look her deep in the eyes, and watch for her reaction. If she is calm and happy and she keeps looking you in the eyes, then she wants to be kissed.

NEVER leave the kiss for the end of the date. It's too awkward and expected. And also too late!

Quote

Do you think I messed it up or am I overreacting? 

You certainly messed up. But maybe not fatally.

Is she still in contact with you?

See, now she feels you got little balls. She's not even sure you like her. She might feel like you don't find her attractive because you didn't man up.

Hint: When a girl -- ANY girl -- agrees to go on 2 dates with you, and she's willing to dress up nice for you, she is interested in your dick. All you have to do is not be creepy or meek.

You were meek. And probably creepy too. So can you blame her for not texting you back?

[StarStruck]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Pain is how you learn, son.

A fucking bag?? Are you serious? That's your excuse?

Kissing a girl is easy. Half-way through the 1st date as you are walking with her and holding hands, you stop her cold, put your hands on her shoulders, turn her towards you, square up to her, look her deep in the eyes, and watch for her reaction. If she is calm and happy and she keeps looking you in the eyes, then she wants to be kissed.

I waited for the perfect moment but that didn't come. I was thinking about a strategy to kiss her on the bench we were sitting but I couldn't find an excuse to get closer. I feel so shitty right now.

Quote

You certainly messed up. But maybe not fatally.

Is she still in contact with you?

Our date ended 6 hours ago and it is 6 in the morning right now. I was considering to send a msg like "you looked amazing yesterday" but I don't know.

[Leo Gura]

20 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I waited for the perfect moment but that didn't come. I was thinking about a strategy to kiss her on the bench we were sitting but I couldn't find an excuse to get closer. I feel so shitty right now.

Don't wait for anything. Create what you desire.

Act on your feelings for her. If you find her hot, you need to show her that, not hide it. She wants you to want her, in a non-creepy way.

How do you do that? You just stand there and say to her: "Hold on. Let me just look at you." and you look her up and down like a wolf looking at a juicy rabbit. And then all you say is, "Mmmmmm...." and grab her hand and keep walking.

Dating is all about improvising. You have to think quick and take action rather than hesitating or getting paralyzed in thought.

Quote

Our date ended 6 hours ago and it is 6 in the morning right now. I was considering to send a msg like "you looked amazing yesterday" but I don't know.

Don't be that guy. When you complement a woman, complement something unique about her personality, not her body.

If you're real clever, you could text her something like:

"You know what surprised me about you?"

And then when she responds: "What?"

You respond: "It's kinda personal. Never mind."

And she of course says: "NO! TELL ME!"

You: "It's actually 3 things."

She: "Tell me!"

You: "You sure??"

She: "YES!"

Then you give her 2 genuine compliments about her personality or life.

She: "And the 3rd?"

You: "The 3rd must remain secret "

And you NEVER tell her the 3rd.

And if she's not responsive to those texts, that's how you know you fucked up your date. Any girl who likes you will go nuts over those texts.

- - - - -

It's important to do a non-needy follow-up text right after the date. If you go cold she will think something might be wrong.

[Roy]

Relax. What you're doing right now isn't helping. Get some sleep. Important to take care of your body so your mind can be in a better headspace.

When you have time in the next day or two, tell her she is a lot of fun and suggest another date. Suggest stuff where you can naturally get physical together, like playing a sport casually, or something you might be familiar with that you have to "show" her by actually touching her and guiding her. You have gotten physical with her in some way on this last date right? If she is comfortable with that then she will definitely give you another opportunity for a kiss next time you see her.

Just focus on having fun and building a bit more of a connection. Then next time you're sitting down together and there is a moment of peace and silence, you look at her and go for it.

If you haven't done it yet after 2 dates, what's going to happen is on your next date she will at some point deliberately open her body language at on the date when you are close together. She doesn't want to have to say what she wants out loud, but if you sense that moment and go for it it's exactly what she wants. It will feel like a relief for her, and she'll probably kiss the hell out of you back lol.

Just make sure you don't pester her with texts for now, but do stay in contact to arrange a 3rd meeting. You got this shit.

[Flowerfaeiry]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

If you're real clever, you could text her something like:

"You know what surprised me about you yesterday?...."

And then when she responds: "What?"

You respond: "It's kinda personal. Never mind."

And she of course says: "NO! TELL ME!"

You: "It's actually 3 things."

She: "Tell me!"

Then you give her 2 genuine compliments about her personality or life.

She: "And the 3rd?"

You: "The 3rd must remain secret "

And you NEVER tell her the 3rd.

Hahahahahahaha omfg this made my jaw drop. If I guy did this to me I would go gaga.

[Applegarden8]

4 minutes ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

Hahahahahahaha omfg this made my jaw drop. If I guy did this to me I would go gaga.

Well, whatever Leo pulled of, that must be next level mental chess right there.

[StarStruck]

30 minutes ago, Roy said:

Relax. What you're doing right now isn't helping. Get some sleep. Important to take care of your body so your mind can be better too.

When you have time in the next day or two, tell her she is a lot of fun and suggest another date. Suggest stuff where you can naturally get physical together, like playing a sport casually, or something you might be familiar with that you have to "show" her by actually touching her and guiding her. You have gotten physical with her in some way on this last date right? If she is comfortable with that then she will definitely give you another opportunity for a kiss next time you see her.

Just focus on having fun and building a bit more of a connection. Then next time you're sitting down together and there is a moment of peace and silence, you look at her and go for it.

Thank you. I touched her arms couple of times.

31 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't wait for anything.

Act on your feelings for her. If you find her hot, you need to show her that, not hide it. She wants you to want her, in a non-creepy way.

How do you do that? You just stand there and say to her: "Hold on. Let me just look at you." and you look her up and down like a wolf looking at a juicy rabbit. And then all you say is, "Mmmmmm...." and grab her hand and keep walking.

Dating is all about improvising. You have to think quick and take action rather than hesitating or getting paralyzed in thought.

Don't be that guy. When you complement a woman, complement something unique about her personality, not her body.

If you're real clever, you could text her something like:

"You know what surprised me about you yesterday?...."

And then when she responds: "What?"

You respond: "It's kinda personal. Never mind."

And she of course says: "NO! TELL ME!"

You: "It's actually 3 things."

She: "Tell me!"

Then you give her 2 genuine compliments about her personality or life.

She: "And the 3rd?"

You: "The 3rd must remain secret "

And you NEVER tell her the 3rd.

And if she's not responsive to those texts, that's how you know you fucked up your date.

- - - - -

It's important to do a non-needy follow-up text right after the date. If you go cold she will think something might be wrong.

The only thing I can do is to pretend I'm not needy because I feel very needy.

I could do what you said and give her compliments about her knowledge about metaphysics and her amazing presence but I feel like that wouldn't make it male-to-female. That last "3rd one must remain a secret" is good one.

I guess I get what you are trying to say: I should keep it light and playful.

If there is a next time I just have to go for it I guess. Big chances she lost attraction though. I feel so dumb and useless.

Edited June 10, 2021 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

14 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I touched her arms couple of times.

That's good

Quote

The only thing I can do is to pretend I'm not needy because I feel very needy.

That's fine. That's all you can do for now. Just contain your neediness from outward expression.

Quote

I could do what you said and give her compliments about her knowledge about metaphysics and her amazing presence

YES! This for fuck's sake!

Quote

but I feel like that wouldn't make it male-to-female

That's silly. She doesn't need you telling her how hot she is. She already knows that if she's hot. Every fool tells her that.

Nobody has ever complimented her about her metaphysical knowledge. This is a panty-dropper compliment.

Quote

I guess I get what you are trying to say: I should keep it light and playful.

ALWAYS!

Don't worry too much, this was a very valuable learning experience for you which you will draw on for all future girls. It's a lifelong lesson! Appreciate the value of that.

[mivafofa]

46 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't wait for anything. Create what you desire.

Act on your feelings for her. If you find her hot, you need to show her that, not hide it. She wants you to want her, in a non-creepy way.

How do you do that? You just stand there and say to her: "Hold on. Let me just look at you." and you look her up and down like a wolf looking at a juicy rabbit. And then all you say is, "Mmmmmm...." and grab her hand and keep walking.

Dating is all about improvising. You have to think quick and take action rather than hesitating or getting paralyzed in thought.

Don't be that guy. When you complement a woman, complement something unique about her personality, not her body.

If you're real clever, you could text her something like:

"You know what surprised me about you?"

And then when she responds: "What?"

You respond: "It's kinda personal. Never mind."

And she of course says: "NO! TELL ME!"

You: "It's actually 3 things."

She: "Tell me!"

You: "You sure??"

She: "YES!"

Then you give her 2 genuine compliments about her personality or life.

She: "And the 3rd?"

You: "The 3rd must remain secret "

And you NEVER tell her the 3rd.

And if she's not responsive to those texts, that's how you know you fucked up your date. Any girl who likes you will go nuts over those texts.

- - - - -

It's important to do a non-needy follow-up text right after the date. If you go cold she will think something might be wrong.

I am seduced ?

[StarStruck]

@Leo Gura I don't have a lot of experience with women. This brings out a lot trauma such as being unloved and not being good with women my entire life.

She is a very young cute beautiful girl but she has tattoos. Probably she dated guys that kissed on the first date and fucked on the first date and here I'm on a forum being emotional and worried.

I don't have a lot of experiences with dating so I'm a little sympathetic towards myself but it is only a matter of time I will mess this up too. There were couple of instances in the past that girls just lose attraction because of my inertia, incapability and lack of confidence.

Pickup and dating really forced me to live in reality. Something I don't like doing. I have always lived in my fairy tale lands where nobody could hurt me. One part of me is grateful for having to know her and another part of me is totally irrational about it.  I hate life.

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Don't be that guy. When you complement a woman, complement something unique about her personality, not her body.

If you're real clever, you could text her something like:

"You know what surprised me about you?"

And then when she responds: "What?"

You respond: "It's kinda personal. Never mind."

And she of course says: "NO! TELL ME!"

You: "It's actually 3 things."

She: "Tell me!"

You: "You sure??"

She: "YES!"

Then you give her 2 genuine compliments about her personality or life.

She: "And the 3rd?"

You: "The 3rd must remain secret "

And you NEVER tell her the 3rd.

And if she's not responsive to those texts, that's how you know you fucked up your date. Any girl who likes you will go nuts over those texts.

- - - - -

It's important to do a non-needy follow-up text right after the date. If you go cold she will think something might be wrong.

My second ex used to do that to me 

Very irritating. Third is secret, bahhh. I broke off with him because he would do these mental gymnastics to keep attracting me. 

And he was a Taurus like you. Chatty. 

 

If you or any guy had sent like that  text to me, next day I wouldn't meet him as punishment. 

Not impressed. 

 

Edited June 10, 2021 by Preety_India

[StarStruck]

Something else: the vibe was really good, but at one point it was really good, and it was so natural to kiss her, but the love was so great that if I kissed her I would cry, so I didn't do it.