Emotional Stability - getting it off my chest

[Preety_India]

Yesterday I had a peaceful sleep after I vomited my feelings about this forum.. Got it off my chest for good. 

No more lying to myself. No more bottling up. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Great video 

 

[Preety_India]

I've realized that real growth will only come from having a stable emotional state for a long period of time. 

And somehow I will need to put great effort in protecting my emotional space. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Robust mechanisms. 

 

[Preety_India]

Protecting my own emotional space is my own responsibility. 

Take that responsibility. 

Remember that every time something hurts, go back to the drawing board. 

There is an opportunity cost to everything. 

In the moment that you're thinking about the hurt, you're also letting the hurt damage your emotional space and forgetting to protect it in that same moment. 

You forget that. 

Where's your responsibility? Where's your effort at self preservation? 

What did you do to protect that emotional space? 

What did you do in the grand scheme of things to protect that emotional space? 

Wearing your emotions on your sleeve is a disservice to that emotional space. 

Letting yourself be callously and freely injured is just another form of disservice. 

Getting hurt and allowing that hurt to produce a reaction is just one dimension. 

But life is multi dimensional. 

There are many dimensions that are simultaneously operating. 

You forgot to account for those dimensions

In the adjacent dimension, your emotional space is being hollowed out, disturbed, turned into a crumpled piece of paper, and being turned upside down and melted into liquid. 

This further injures the whole ecosystem within you. 

Before it happens and during its happening, take inventory of what's going on. 

Take responsibility at first, at the earliest, before the snowballing begins, take responsibility during the process when you're feeling sunken and a poking has happened, and take responsibility later after the incident to not only ensure that such things don't happen again but to also bring healing to what has already happened. 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Learn to recognize passive hostility as when as you can

Hostility even if it's passive is still hostility. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Positive stimulations is another part of creating emotional stability. 

 

[Preety_India]

Also important to have cognitive precaution 

What does this mean? 

 

[Preety_India]

So i was talking about cognitive precaution or conscious precaution or precautionary awareness. 

For this to happen in real time, you have stop thinking that everyone is your friend or seek the best in people. 

You have to develop a certain intelligentsia and find peace, love and comfort in it. 

Instead of that, you have to think that there are enemies around. 

These enemies can be variously put into many groups 

1. Predators 
2. Cops
3. Vultures 
4. Energy vampires

In many ways whatever label or name they carry, the only common thread running through these labels are the two words - hostility and threat. 

Both hostility and threat are important components of survival. 

The main job of predators is to exhibit aggression. 

Cops don't seem like predators but they can cause harm by punishing you 

So what does machiavellian behaviour entail? 

It involves scanning people to see if they are going to be a threat. 

This not only applies to people but to situations as well.

You scan a situation to see if it provides an opportunity or exists as a threat. 

Cops are very important here and so are predators. 

What is cognitive precaution in this respect? 

I can also call cognitive precaution by other names like conscious precaution or precautionary awareness etc. 

What does it mean with respect to the above labels? 

Let me give you an example. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Let me give an example 

For this you need to consider two frames. 

One is your own frame of mind. 

And the other is the "outside of your frame of mind." 

These exist side by side. This cannot be denied. If you deny this you aren't connected to reality, rather you're out of touch with reality. Being out of touch with reality will have its own consequences. 

 

 

 

Other thing to focus on is smooth conceptual flow. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

One is your own frame of mind. 

And the other is the "outside of your frame of mind." 

These exist side by side. This cannot be denied. If you deny this you aren't connected to reality, rather you're out of touch with reality. Being out of touch with reality will have its own consequences. 

Now let's say a cop is your friend.. Let's call him Mr Gavin123. Now Gavin123 talks to you everyday. You are happy talking to him but you also know that he is a cop as well 

This always keeps you on your toes. He might punish you anytime you do something wrong even though he is friendly with you because his duty is more important to him than being friendly to you 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 Now let's say Gavin123 is making jokes that aren't exactly funny. And you feel offended by them. And now you decide to cut off Gavin123 as a friend. What happens? 

You completely erase Gavin123 from your memory. Thus he erased from your frame of mind. Your frame of mind is clear and free. 

You feel free and better to have removed a toxic friend. 

But is this the only frame that is operating? 

Apart from this frame of mind, you have what's outside the frame of mind. 

In "outside the frame of mind" Gavin123 is still operating because he is a cop. 

So even if you feel relaxed that you have deleted Gavin123 from your frame of mind, Gavin123 is not gone. He is still there, only you managed to delete him 

Now you feel free you're more likely to make mistakes such as speeding and then you'll be pulled over for speeding or you could end up doing things that are even worse, just mistakes because your mind feels free of judgement and punishment. 

The problem is that you aren't exactly free. When Gavin123 was your friend, you felt a slight pressure of his presence and you wouldn't make mistakes. 

Now that he is removed from the frame of mind, Gavin123 is no longer perceived as a threat although he is still a threat if you're on his radar. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Predators always carry a hidden form of malice.. 

[Preety_India]

The answer to it is robust mechanisms. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

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[Preety_India]