Being a nice guy versus being an arrogant dickhead

[Seeker531]

@StarStruck

It might help for a start to create this fierceness in yourself by turning inwards and see how your niceness is exploited by other parts in you. If you treat this issue correctly then you will also understand what's wrong with being the "nice guy without a spine-type" in general. But this is only for a start and understanding but still the rubber meets the road by experience. I guess Leo's latest video might explain that, too. 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Seeker531

[Seeker531]

Pls don't feed a troll.. 

@cetus

 

[cetus]

@Seeker531 ?

[Seeker531]

Sry, I wanted to give notice because of the troll post that's just been removed. Should I hide the post? 

[Karmadhi]

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

It is very hard to remove this niceness, politeness and overly-considering nature out my psyche.

Get heartbroken a few times and it will auto correct it trust me. There is a beautiful quote i read once it is something like : "The more i interact with girls, the less nice i want to be to them". Now do not become red pilled and hate women and shit. Just do not be simp.

It legit took me 1 bad heartbreak to cut my niceness in like half. The issue is not being less nice, the issue is treating them properly. Best way to treat in my opinion is to treat her good but not too good. Watch the movie "A bronx tale", the way Sonny treats his people (not C) is the correct mindset to have. 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Karmadhi

[StarStruck]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Go approach 5000 women and go on dates.

The pain of women rejecting and dumping you for your weakness will make you strong. You are not going to learn this skillset other than through massive pain and rejection.

That is why I love calling girls who ghost me. My anti-fragility is developing but I guess I need to take more action. I'm already doing steady 10-20 approaches per week but I tend to stick to what works.

Quote

 

Rapport is built AFTER attraction already happened.

You need to learn basic pickup theory. Stop trying to reinvent the wheel. Attraction theory is 100% known and proven. Just study it. There is zero mystery to what attracts women.

 

I'm doing Todd's "System" right now. He says rapport and attraction is not black and white and they overflow but you might have point here. I tend to switch to rapport building as soon as possible.

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

Get heartbroken a few times and it will auto correct it trust me. There is a beautiful quote i read once it is something like : "The more i interact with girls, the less nice i want to be to them". Now do not become red pilled and hate women and shit. Just do not be simp.

It legit took me 1 bad heartbreak to cut my niceness in like half. The issue is not being less nice, the issue is treating them properly. Best way to treat in my opinion is to treat her good but not too good. Watch the movie "A bronx tale", the way Sonny treats his people (not C) is the correct mindset to have. 

Thanks, I will watch that movie.

My problem is this I think: micromanaging my niceness/assholeness. I will try to let go of control (for couple of weeks) and let things grow organically and see what unfolds.

[SgtPepper]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

She will cringe from you and not give you a chance if you are weak, so good luck building that emotional connection.

This is not true. Being afraid of being vulnerable and emotional is weak. I have been emotional with girls and they do find it attractive when a masculine man can cry a tear or talk about how much they appreciate their mother - (in reason...). They want a wholesome male.

Honestly, I don't know how to explain this dynamic. I get what you're saying, being strong is important, but if you work out and got muscles, it is obvious you are strong and disciplined lol. If you come across a problem and instead of complaining about it, focus and fix it in a wholesome way, you will appear stoic, cool, and strong. You don't need to be pretend, you just are. The essence of a man's strength is the measure of his ability to not be swayed by the material world.

So if you are afraid of appearing weak or someone's opinion that you may be seen as weak, guess what you are weak. 

This is why in my opinion, the biggest fundamental problem guys have with relationships with girls is they have a shit relationship with themselves.. and as a result the world.

 

Moreover, girls just want to have fun... with a guy who is FUN to be around with.

 

Are you fun to be around with?

 

I also will come out and disagree with others that the "Cold" approach is good. It is off-putting and easily seen as you having an agenda, so you better be good at engaging someone in a fun conversation in seconds.

You'd be better off joining a club, going to Barnes and nobles and striking up a conversation, taking a walk in the park, or just really going out and going where people are. 

 

 

[kieranperez]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The pain of women rejecting and dumping you for your weakness will make you strong. You are not going to learn this skillset other than through massive pain and rejection.

Get rejected so much you stop caring. Die inside from all your mistakes.

Quote

The Jed McKenna of dating ?

[Arcangelo]

On 6/5/2021 at 11:43 AM, StarStruck said:

So I experimented with these two modes. 

Niceness = wanting something from her, through being nice

Arrogant = not wanting something but just expressing your manhood

Women can be really mean towards a nice guy, not give him the light of day, or just be outright rude or treat you like dirt. 

Of course not all women, there is also a category of women that are nice to you (if you are a nice guy) and then just bounce off when they are done with you, tell you they have a bf, in a hurry or something. 

Am I making the right observations here? I don't get why women on this forum and elsewhere keep telling men to be nice. It really doesn't work. Especially with day game it doesn't work. Perhaps for social game or women that are looking for a beta provider guy it might work. 

Most guys aren't bad. They are just too nice.  They need to drop the bs and just be raging dicks but the key is this: be a raging dick in passive mode, not active mode. It is a way of being, not a way of doing!!!

Of course this topic is about about ATTRACTION phase of seduction. There is also a VIBING phase where it is important to emotionally connect to her. Vibing is a later stage, first you need to get a chance with her to be able to vibe. 

The thing is: when I'm nice with women, they cringe and don't give me a chance. When I'm a dick, they get attracted and they talk to me. I can clearly see signs of interests when I'm a dick (in a passive calibrated way!). 

Do you think it has to do with me or with women in general?

Let the Genders Wars begin...