I don't know myself. Help.

[machinegun]

I recently watched a Bojack Horseman episode where one of the characters said to Bojack, "is it possible you don't want to know yourself, or know others?". This spoke to me.

Over the past couple of years, I've improved my self-esteem to the point where I have moderate to low social anxiety. And, I have confidence when it comes to certain things, like attracting girls.

I feel as though that I'm a stranger to myself, and the relationships that I have with others only skim the surface of what they could be. The conversations with the "friends" I had at school were very shallow, usually small talk and then conversation about events or other people- otherwise known as boring and unfulfilling conversations.

I'm not looking for a commenter here to solve this problem, because I think this points to more deeper psychological issues. I would like for someone to share a resource which would help me overcome this problem. 

P.S. I was bullied throughout middle and high school, and I didn't feel loved by my mom growing up. The bullying especially brings me great shame, and it feels like I'm lying to others when I don't tell them about what happened. 

[Harlen Kelly]

31 minutes ago, machinegun said:

I'm not looking for a commenter here to solve this problem, because I think this points to more deeper psychological issues. I would like for someone to share a resource which would help me overcome this problem. 

Therapy.

[Windappreciator]

The more you recognize about yourself the more you are heading towards a way out. Don't worry too much.

 

Edited June 4, 2021 by Windappreciator

[intotheblack]

Start showing interest in others, ask people about their life.  Learn about others and you will in turn learn about yourself. 

[Julian Fernando]

"Where attention goes, energy flows". What is your vision for your life? What are your goals? What kind of relationships would you love to have in the ideal situation? These are some questions to deeply contemplate. How would they feel like? Who would I need to be to attract these situations?