Bad dreams

[Preety_India]

I don't know. 

[Preety_India]

Am I going to die? 

I don't know. 

Last night i had a dream where I felt like I was going to die soon. 

I don't know if this dream is a precursor to a tragedy. 

A Premonition? 

Will I die the way my father died? 

 

[Preety_India]

It was a sad dream.. 

My mother had put such fear in me as a child by beating me, it's impossible to remove that fear. 

Sometimes death is better than to live in terror with no help. 

Because of this pandemic I can't go out 

 

Everyone around me is wearing helmets along with masks. It feels like a epidemic zone, like they show on TV during Ebola. 

It seems the Indian Covid strain is deadly because many people in my state have died. 

 

[Preety_India]

This forum does not feel safe either. Here I have to constantly fight off bullying. 

It's a tragedy all around. 

I came to this forum in order to help develop myself and grow, not to be bullied.. 

I feel sad. 

That this is how the world is. 

I even tried ignoring the comments that were the bullying kind, still the persons kept pushing my buttons as long as I didn't react. 

And then when I finally react these same people call me angry and rude or annoying 

Why even bother talking to me if I'm so annoying? 

All of this adds to my stress. 

A self development forum should be kind and supportive and not bring someone down even if you felt they are not exactly how you want them to be. 

I'm tired of the rudeness in this place. It gets to me. 

I also feel like the mods don't do enough to make it a peaceful place 

. They simply don't want to deal with the stress of dealing with rude people. 

 

[Preety_India]

I mean there was a mod who gave up modding. Can you imagine that on a self development forum? 

And that doesn't shake anyone? 

This place is just another reddit in the guise of personal development. 

I'm so sick of being popular here.

Im so sick of the casual negative attention. Maybe because I'm Indian but whatever. 

I'm just sick of being trolled. 

 

[Preety_India]

With all this baggage it's difficult. 

Days when I'm just journaling and not interacting with anyone are good days. 

But what's the price if I always remain in my shell? 

One thing is true that I should learn to be more open in a supportive environment and not in a constraining environment. 

This environment is not supportive. 

 

[Preety_India]

Last night i had a dream where I was being chased by an animal. 

 

[Preety_India]

1. Reality 
2. Beauty
3. Love 
4. Peace 
5. Cognizance

 

 

Edited June 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

So I had a bad dream.

 

[Preety_India]

Woke up feeling a bit agitated.

Don't remember the dream 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I had sexual dreams

 

 

I don't know how it felt