Looking For A Technique For Becoming A More Loving Person

[SamEuphoria93]

So, I watched Leo's video that talked about a "3 step formula for becoming ruthlessly effective at anything". The three steps were: 1. Choose your domain 2. Find a high yield technique 3. Practice the technique every single day

So, what are some good techniques for developing deeper compassion towards oneself and others?

[Tancrede Pouyat]

There. 

 

[Telepresent]

@SamEuphoria93Hello Sam!  I wasn't entirely paying attention to the forum in which I posted this reply: I realise nothing I say has to do with dating, sex, or sexuality.  However, I still feel the broad strokes may still apply if you're feeling disconnected, so fuck it, I'm not going to delete it!  Hope it's of some use...

***

Hi Sam,  I'm going to suggest something that' not REMOTELY based in my own experience, or in anything I've read.  Instead, it's based in the 1-2-3 step process you describe.

Really, you've already chosen step 1, which is compassion towards yourself and others. 

For step 2, I would suggest anything that has a ready turnover of people who depend on you, but who you don't depend on (i.e. who you need to give support to, but you don't offer you support).  The reason for that is that if you want to practice compassion towards yourself, I wonder if it's actually necessary to bear some of the brunt of that.

So, from those, something like volunteering at a shelter, or for the Sarmaritans, or sometime which directly services others might give you some insight.  BUT only go for a biggie (like the Samaritans) if you're willing to play the long game: if you'd rather test the waters, local soup-kitchens and other voluntary organisations always need help, and don't need to divert resources to train you.

3.  That's down to you, the technique, and how it works in your own life!

Please allow me to say thank you and congratulations for wanting to offer more to the world: it's always welcomed.  Let me also remind you to take care of yourself first: so long as you are ok, you can carry the world.  But the moment you're not, let the world know, and it'll take it's turn

Edited November 9, 2016 by Telepresent

[Magic]

Perhaps this post fits better in "Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Spirituality" forum?

 

@SamEuphoria93, I am just on a search for answer to the same question.

I've been practising compassion and love meditation for the past few days.
To break down the process for you, I can distinguish these steps:

1. Start your normal mindfullness meditation practise, i.e. focus on "see", "hear", and "feel" channels until you're deep in the state.
2. When you're ready, start slow. I.e. think about a person you really love, like your mother, or brother, etc. Watch this feeling. I feel it distinctively in my upper body, radiating from chest up.
3. Move on to person you "love less". Here I start to feel how my ego rebells against love and compassion for this person. Watch closely what happens to the love you felt in step 2.
4. Move on to someone you might not like at the moment for various petty reasons. Now, what I start to feel is how dirt and mud starts to cover all the love I felt in step 2. What helps me at this point is:

• Realising what unworthy reasons hold my love back. Though it's not always obvious initially, in my case it always turns out to be some ego horseshit. 
• Realising that I don't have to conditionalise my love on the target. I have the right to feel this wonderful emotion towards all life. And that's beautiful.

It's very demanding, hard emotional and intellectual work. When I was doing this for the first time, I had to stop before the timer set for mindfullness meditation, I got so exhausted. But I also saw the extraordinary effects already after the first session.

This is a process I am still devising for myself. If you decide to try it, please share your insights . 

Edited November 21, 2016 by Magic