Do males experience sexual anxiety?

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly @Harlen Kelly yep. 

Even if they do, I think it's a small minority. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

Just now, LostStudent said:

I don't think this is limited to women in their 30s or 40s. I'm in my early 20s and I've felt anxiety, frustration, and jealousy when I see friends in committed long-term relationships.

That's actually the point I was trying to make. 

[Preety_India]

Just now, Harlen Kelly said:

That's actually the point I was trying to make. 

@Harlen Kelly but I don't believe this is true for most women. Otherwise we won't have majority males complaining here. The proportion of women complaining about not having a boyfriend is much lower. 

 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Preety_India You make a lot of sense. 

[Preety_India]

@Harlen Kelly @Harlen Kelly oh I know you mean sarcastically. 

 

 

[Chew211]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@Chew211 I don't think it applies to women. I've never experienced any kind of frustration, anger or impatience while not having a man. Being and not being in a relationship did not make much of a difference. In fact not being in a relationship sometimes felt like freedom.

 

 

What i meant was that even women can be in one of those two processes.

The two processes can apply for any desire, not just sexual/romantic.

 

Also men are phallic, while women are phallic AND no phallic. 

 

The more phallic you are, the more of that anxiety is what pushes you to grow OR cope with Jouissance.

Edited June 4, 2021 by Chew211

[Preety_India]

@Chew211 that's a good point. 

 

[AtheisticNonduality]

The incel movement is all sexual angst: anger, sadness, etc.

[Preety_India]

@AtheisticNonduality yep. I completely forgot that. 

[intotheblack]

5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Harlen Kelly but I don't believe this is true for most women. Otherwise we won't have majority males complaining here. The proportion of women complaining about not having a boyfriend is much lower. 

 

 

We only don’t see women complaining here because this is a male dominated forum and I think many women don’t want to post because of that. 
And just in general more spiritual women won’t be complaining so much about men, they are just working on themselves and avoiding toxic relationships. 

But in the ‘real world’ women complain about men all the time.  All my life I’ve heard girls complain they can’t find a nice boyfriend etc. 
If you go to another female dominated forum you will probably find a lot of complaints. 
The thing is that women usually talk to their friends about this stuff, or they keep it to themselves, so they don’t come accross as needy.  You won’t find as many women discussing it in online forums.  They would more likely google a problem and then read some article for advice.

Remember it’s women who have been the ones who are told they are too needy for the longest time. (At least in my culture growing up)  I never heard of a man being too needy until I came to this forum.  I was always told not to be needy or clingy to men or they will leave.  So I think this is deeply ingrained in women so they go the opposite and try not to ‘make a fuss’ when they’re needs aren’t being met. 
women do get depressed, lonely and unhappy they just hide it well.  
women are told they are being too needy when they’re needs aren’t being met. So they learn to keep quiet. 

 

Edited June 4, 2021 by intotheblack

[Preety_India]

@intotheblack Yea that makes a lot of sense, although I can't relate to it, because I never felt depressed for not having a man, I was needy in relationships, however never needy when I wasn't with a man, it's like I could handle both. However I can see how some women get shamed for opening up. 

 

[intotheblack]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

@intotheblack Yea that makes a lot of sense, although I can't relate to it, because I never felt depressed for not having a man, I was needy in relationships, however never needy when I wasn't with a man, it's like I could handle both. However I can see how some women get shamed for opening up. 

 

I think also if you look around, most advice about love and relationships is tailored towards women, so I think women deal with this stuff easier because there is so much advice out there for women.  Whereas men are expected to already know what they’re doing, so they have more confusion about everything and they would be more likely to come to an online forum anonymously and vent their feelings.  Especially because they also feel shamed for opening up, and if they might be embarrassed talking about it for fear of not ‘being a man’.  And it’s only until fairly recently that men are asking for help in this area. They also learned to keep quiet. 
So basically both sexes get shamed in different ways for opening up.  Both are told not to be needy.  They just look for help and deal with things in different ways.   

[Preety_India]

@intotheblack yep. 

It would be nice to create a society where there is no shaming. 

I get shamed a lot when I open up about sexuality. So I can relate. 

 

[kray]

On 6/3/2021 at 11:54 AM, integral said:

It depends, everyone is different. If i don't ejaculate for a week, ill loss all interest in sex and ejaculation, i wont notice attractive women around me. The switch is completely turned off. It does the opposite of anxiety and stress, it gives mental clarity and high focus/motivation, deeper sleep, colors are brighter. Sex is just another object in awareness, give it less attention and its forgotten. 

For other men it spikes their sexual desire to an unlivable tortuous degree. Its really an issue of not being able to just let it go. They are stuck in a mind loop of sex or it could be a build up of zinc in the body, the body is trying to get rid of it. 

This is admirable. If I don't ejaculate for a week, and find myself around women, I end up getting REALLY turned on from just the legs of a woman 

[Javfly33]

On 3/6/2021 at 5:12 PM, Preety_India said:

Do males experience sexual anxiety when they can't get a girlfriend or can't get sex?

Just asking out of general curiosity. 

And if men do experience this anxiety, what are the symptoms and how does it manifest?

Does it lead to intense cravings to watch porn? 

What exactly happens to men when they can't get a girlfriend? 

 

Yeah

FOMO, fear of confirmation of my unworthiness, inferiority, and sexual attractiveness.

It's basically one of the biggest pains I've experienced in life, but or course is not correct to say is sexual anxiety, is just Anxiety/self-hate/lack of SelfLove in general.

Sex is just one of the repercussions.

Which makes you suffer so much it motivates you to wake the fuck up and stop imagining your own hell 

Time to be happy ?

[Roy]

21 hours ago, Preety_India said:

but I don't believe this is true for most women. Otherwise we won't have majority males complaining here. The proportion of women complaining about not having a boyfriend is much lower. 

That's because most women who are struggling with this have friend groups and family that will help bail them out, they don't need to resort to getting as much help in other ways.

While males who are struggling with this are more likely to go it alone out of sheer embarrassment, of course males use the internet WAY more, hence why you see more of them on the forum.

[Preety_India]

@Roy then why there are no incel groups for women in real life. 

Why do these groups only exist for men? 

 

[tatsumaru]

46 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

@Roy then why there are no incel groups for women in real life. 

Why do these groups only exist for men? 

 

Because most of the times it's the girls that are doing the rejection not the guys therefore the involuntary part falls on males most of the time. Also notice that it's way more likely to die a virgin as a guy than as a female. This is because we live in a society where a small portion of men date the majority of the women and also because it is the guys who have to do the approaching. It is considered desperate for a girl to be doing the approaching unless the guy is super high-class or whatever. Also from my personal experience with women, women aren't so insanely, moment-to-moment obsessed with sex as guys are. Not saying that women aren't sexual beings, they definitely are, but guys are just ridiculous, sex is 50%-90% of male thought probably even with intellectuals.

Most girls masturbate way less often than guys do and watch way less porn than guys do. And when guys start watching porn to relieve their anxiety, eventually they get complacent and stop chasing the real thing because the porn fries their dopamine circuits and their brains don't work properly anymore and they become like neutered animals. Also IIRC incel is a particular type of man who's not only not getting laid but also quite resentful/hateful of women which is only pointing to the fact that he's in a lot of pain and super frustrated because he's aware that other men are getting laid and it is just him that's not getting laid so he's turning his frustration into hate towards women. And certainly some women can be cruel bitches, but still, great men don't blame the world for their problems.

Edited June 4, 2021 by tatsumaru

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, tatsumaru said:

Because most of the times it's the girls that are doing the rejection not the guys therefore the involuntary part falls on males most of the time. Also notice that it's way more like to die a virgin as a guy than as a female. This is because we live in a society where a small portion of men date the majority of the women and also because it is the guys who have to do the approaching. It is considered desperate for a girl to be doing the approaching unless the guy is super high-class or whatever. Also from my personal experience with women, women aren't so insanely, moment-to-moment obsessed with sex as guys are. Not saying that women aren't sexual beings, they definitely are, but guys are just ridiculous, sex is 50%-90% of male thought probably even with intellectuals.

That's what i meant. It's not just an internet thing, it's IRL. If women were so desperate for sex and feeling such great anxiety then we would have large groups of women simply going insane for it and grabbing any man they get. But that's not the case. Sex is not even on my mind 24/7. It makes perfect sense that men experience this anxiety because men experience horniness on a much higher levels than women, women are horny in the moment but not all the time, that also explains why women don't do the approaching, women aren't shamed if they are virgins, in fact in certain cultures women are appreciated if they're virgins. So women don't have to deal with the social brunt of being single, plus they don't experience intense needs for sex, not on the levels as men or women would have hired dating coaches if they were single, most single women appear just fine with their lives, I've seen married women complain a lot about their children and how difficult marriage is etc etc. Single women tend to feel free. So sexual frustration and anxiety is primarily a male phenomenon, a few women experience it, however the scale on which women experience it is nowhere close to what men experience, with men it's a huge proportion as you can see by the number of dating coaches and resources men invest into getting women. 

 

[Roy]

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

then why there are no incel groups for women in real life. 

Why do these groups only exist for men? 

Read what I said again and you'll get the answer 

But yea there are barely any incel women because it's so much easier to get sex as a woman, there is always going to be some guy who is willing to bone.

Men will fuck anything with a pulse, women are generally more sensible and have higher standards.