extreme frustration with self inquiry after many months of practice

[spiritualryan]

the teachers always say "be aware of being aware", and the people at the retreat somehow find it so easy to do. i just don't get it... all i have of reality is my direct experience; which entails thoughts (sometimes), sight, sound, sensation, smell, and taste. yet, the teachers say "just be aware of being aware"... IT MAKES NO GOD DAMN SENSE!! what do i do with my sense of sight? it's just there. same with sensations. they're just there. however, inquiring into a thought DOES actually reveal a extremely vast, open, empty space of awareness that i am. like if i visualize the thought of my house, it is very obvious if i focus on the sense of "i" that i am not the thought, but this vast awareness that is perceiving the thought. focusing on myself (awareness) using the sense of thought, i enter a slight trance like state where thoughts completely cease. the issue with inquiring into my sense of thought is that they aren't constant. so when i don't have thoughts, what am i supposed to do practically?  inquiring into who the thoughts appear to, reveals my true self of vast awareness. but i don't constantly have thoughts. doing so with every other sense (sensations, smell, hearing) don't reveal my true self as awareness. HELP

 

let me explain a little more. rupret spira says the question "are you aware" is a good question to get awareness back to it's source. however i don't understand. it does not compute. however if the question were "are you aware of a thought" then it makes perfect sense. i am that extremely vast open emtpy space that is aware of thought. then i can completely quite the mind in it's source. is this self inquiry?

Edited May 31, 2021 by spiritualryan
fixed a sentence, and added more info

[Leo Gura]

You need to change your state of consciousness via hardcore concentration practice. Stop thinking about who you are and focus on building up concentration.

You can do that with mindfulness with labling or via Kriya yoga. I highly recommend Kriya yoga, it quiets the mind nicely.

Work towards stilling your mind and just sitting in emptiness with no thoughts. Your true nature will reveal itself naturally once your mind is still and highly concentrated.

[Natasha]

@spiritualryan I had the shift while doing Leo's guided self-inquiry in his vid Creating an Experience of No-self. Very powerful, highly recommend. Stay razor focused on the process, might help answer your questions.

[BipolarGrowth]

I will give you an alternative suggestion. You need to be building an experience of no-mind in my opinion. This is essentially becoming so present and in flow of effortless existence that all mind activities essentially disappear while they can still be done. This is a lot like what many people seek for in meditation. No thoughts. But no-mind can have as many thoughts as it wants without thinking. You've probably accessed this at least briefly in the context of flow states. Some people don't access no-mind and No-Self through meditation very well. Doing activities you're really passionate about, especially if they have an intellectual component, can help produce no-mind states. Eventually, acting out of your true Authenticity with less and less resistance will bring you into no-mind if you're anything like me. 

What is the point of no-mind in all of this? It is to show the illusory nature of the thinker. It is to realize that this was never a solid basis for what you could truly call a self to any permanent degree. Intellectually realizing this and experiencing it in the manner I'm suggesting are completely different. 

[Beginner Mind]

@spiritualryan The simplest way to be aware of being aware, in my experience, is to just be, knowingly.  That is, sit comfortably, just be, and be aware of the fact that you're just being.  This is being aware of being aware.

Rupert makes being aware of being aware sound complicated (probably to sell more books and satsangs).  In reality, being aware of being aware isn't complicated at all.

[mandyjw]

What is the difference between the thought "house" and the direct experience of looking at your house? When you first look at something without having any idea of what it is, you are in a state of completely taking it in, awareness, a no thought state. When looking at your house with no thought, it makes no difference that it's yours or that it's familiar, truly you've never seen it before. 

Saying aware of being aware is a loving way to say "be without thought". If you tell someone NOT to think, it's like the don't think of a pink elephant thing, and they constantly think "am I thinking now? am I thinking now?" So "be aware of being aware" means to give your attention to "something" that is prior to a thought arising about it. 

Awareness is prior to our identity, and prior to any object, it is the very essence, "I Am", how do you really know that you are, now, here in this moment? 

 

[Beginner Mind]

@spiritualryan I should also mention that the question "Am I aware?" is completely worthless unless you already know what it means to be aware.  If you are not able to identify the experience of being aware, this question will do you no good.

Like I said in my previous post: Just be, knowingly.  And patiently wait for the peace to emerge.  This is literally all you have to do. 

There, I just saved you from years of spiritual seeking. You're welcome. 

[The0Self]

22 hours ago, spiritualryan said:

the issue with inquiring into my sense of thought is that they aren't constant. so when i don't have thoughts, what am i supposed to do practically? 

There is a subtle flaw in your technique. Do you experience a lack of thought? If so, turn away from that experience, toward the one who assumes it’s experiencing. That’s how you do it. It’s not necessary, but that’s how you do self inquiry. Keep on keepin on until there’s no questioner left to say “what is me?”

If you were to notice you’re perfect the way you are, there would cease to be a you who notices it, but there is already only perfection, so whatever happens has nothing to do with you.

Edited June 1, 2021 by The0Self

[Someone here]

The point of self inquiry is to know what "the self" is. Or to answer the question "what am I"? 

Spoiler ;there is no self. Or you could say the entire bubble is you.

  Nothing is you =everything is You. 

[Guru Fat Bastard]

On 5/31/2021 at 5:53 PM, Leo Gura said:

You need to change your state of consciousness via hardcore concentration practice. Stop thinking about who you are and focus on building up concentration.

You can do that with mindfulness with labling or via Kriya yoga. I highly recommend Kriya yoga, it quiets the mind nicely.

Work towards stilling your mind and just sitting in emptiness with no thoughts. Your true nature will reveal itself naturally once your mind is still and highly concentrated.

A lot, and I would even venture to say, that the vast majority of most spiritual seekers, especially ones in the early stages of a few months to at least a year, miss this point. It's the "I want it fast and with little to no effort" syndrome, not realizing that regardless of what anyone says, and unless they're among the spiritually mature or gifted very few who realize and remain permanently, irreversibly, and unremittingly, in that realized state, there is no "fast track". Of course everyone wants that, but that's just not the case. Many teachers and guru's today, some authentic and some not, state that their way is the fast track. Typically, the 'direct path" self inquiry, and philosophical Advaita Vedanta teachers, are among these claims. Take note that this is not to say that these methods/practices are not viable. Quite the contrary, they are effective and have proven their reliability. The mistake lies in most of these teachers not divulging to those seekers the many years, (anywhere from 10-30 or more) of invested time and also having often times tried various practices/methods other than what they teach. Not going to mention any names out of respect, but quite a few popular/famous teachers of the above "fast track" methods today, (at least the ones that are authentic), have stated their number of years of spiritual practice before stabilized realization occurred. With Ramana,of the many, many spiritual seekers, sanyasis and devotees, only a handful "attained" fast, permanent realization when they came to him. Ramana referred to these as the "ripe ones" or the "spiritually mature" ones. Although as stated the most direct and effortless method, most spend years(upwards of 6 or more, often more) with the method before any stabilized realization occurs. If you're at the beginning or early stages of spiritual development, self inquiry will, in most cases, cause frustration. There is a reason for this, and that reason is real self inquiry arises of its own,  from the silent depths of one's being, spontaneously, and not as a question from the mind. This is called "relational" or natural inquiry. Non-relational self inquiry is from the often busy, active mind, and non-relational inquiry will always, always end up in frustration. Unless there is at least some degree of abiding inner silence, and not a fleeting or temporary inner silence, self inquiry will inevitably be non-relational.

With that said, do some form of meditative practices for a while and cultivate a degree of inner silence that isn't temporary or fleeting. Then come back to inquiry. You will see a huge difference in the quality of the inquiry. ?

Edited June 4, 2021 by Guru Fat Bastard

[The0Self]

4 hours ago, Guru Fat Bastard said:

With that said, do some form of meditative practices for a while and cultivate a degree of inner silence that isn't temporary or fleeting. Then come back to inquiry. You will see a huge difference in the quality of the inquiry. ?

Truth.