My self inquiry always stops here:

[RedLine]

I am the pain behind my skull and the sensions of the top of my spine (all the I-thoughts rise mostly from that sensations).

 

This sensations feels so solid that I have never been able to further deconstruct. 

[Raptorsin7]

@RedLine Have you tried psychidelics?

[The0Self]

Turn away from them as well. Any experience is not what you’re looking for, so turn away from every experienced object no matter how subtle — either by turning toward the knower or by relaxing all voluntary intention except for the intention to do just that, ignoring all experience/thought/objects in the process.

You’re basically getting attention out of the way... So that the insight engine of metacognitive awareness can prevail.

In the end, it’s not the objects nor any mental or “figuring-out” process that matters, it’s the progressive lack of all of those until nothing is left, then holding that transcendent state patiently, faithfully (perhaps even longingly), and repeatedly — aiming to effortlessly hold this “pure subjectivity” (which feels really fucking good), which is revealed to actually be a special type of object. It’s very conducive for getting into gnarly meditative states, including Witnessing (Akilesh calls it the spacious mind; Rob Burbea calls it the Vastness of Awareness; Shinzen calls it the figure-ground reversal), which itself can actually be used for God-realization without psychedelics — it’s highly unlikely you’ll become God-realized without psychedelics, but if any non-chemical methods can work for the purpose of God-realization, it’s likely a very short list, and Witnessing is on it.

Edited May 30, 2021 by The0Self

[Bluff]

@RedLine

11 hours ago, RedLine said:

I am the pain behind my skull and the sensions of the top of my spine

How can you be that? Aren't you that what observes it? 

If you really believe that you are that sensation, then truly be it. Accept it as your being and be nothing else. As you do so, you will see the sensation vanish and recognize it to be temporary. But you are not temporary 

[RedLine]

1 hour ago, Bluff said:

@RedLine

How can you be that? Aren't you that what observes it? 

 

I can observe the sensation but then the observer becomes the sensation, then I observe this sensation-observer and so on and so on. It is a loop that never ends. It's like an infinite rusian doll's game.

The thing is this sensation looks pretty solid because it is always there (probably ot in deep sleep but I don't remember what happens there).

 

Edited May 30, 2021 by RedLine

[TheSomeBody]

you wont get any further unless you do something more spiritualy dense like psycadelic 
i was clueless like you till i saw god 

Edited May 30, 2021 by TheSomeBody

[mandyjw]

Why do you want to deconstruct further? 

[Bluff]

@RedLine

43 minutes ago, RedLine said:

I can observe the sensation but then the observer becomes the sensation, then I observe this sensation-observer and so on and so on.

When the observer becomes the sensation you should realise that there is nothing to rhe whole experience, other then the knowing of this experience. There is only one thing - this experience. 

Look at it very clearly! You never observe an observer. There is none! The experience takes place in the empty space of knowing. 

It might seem to be a infinite loop because of its oneness and completeness 

[OctagonOctopus]

Do you ever try letting the sensation move threw your body? Relax and open up your body, every part relating to every other part. Like panning the painful sensation around until it starts to release, loosening the knot. 

[The0Self]

15 hours ago, RedLine said:

This sensations feels so solid that I have never been able to further deconstruct.

Whenever some “thing” feels solid, it’s due to a hidden craving — for something else, whether that’s not-this-thing or more-of-this-thing or this-thing-in-the-future. In seeing this over and over, deconstruction becomes easier. Try it with easier “things” first such as mild unpleasant emotions or physical pain: in meditation, after an hour or so, your legs will likely hurt very much — if you become interested in the pain and try to objectify the “whole thing” with steady open heartedness and patience for a long time and really try to find all the sensations that make it up, and lean into it, eventually its solidity will fade, and if you keep going, it will fade entirely.

This can be done with everything, and in my view this is the point of meditative contemplation — it reveals that everything is constructed, and in seeing this thousands of times, construction is increasingly less likely to fool you.

Eventually it can be glimpsed that even consciousness is constructed. All objects depend on the way of looking at them, and the way of looking depends on the objects (empty, strange loop) and insight-objects, so nothing is actually a truly existent entity that stands on its own.

Everything is empty/dependent — the degree to which this is not understood is illusion/ignorance, which is intrinsically tied to unnecessary suffering. But in a way, the only illusion/ignorance is that there is illusion/ignorance.

This process can progress to deeper levels until it is seen that knowing and known arise from each other, together, timelessly — they are simply empty appearances, since one would have to exist before the other for the other to arise, which is impossible because neither can exist on its own... So nothing ever actually happens. In other words, what seems to be happening never takes form — never becomes “something that arose.” Appearances aren’t arising! They aren’t coming into existence. Appearance/everything/no-thing is utterly non-contextual.

The tripod of illusion is self-thing-time — focus on deconstructing one, with steadiness, and the other 2 will lose solidity as well. When the exclusive-reality (inherent-existence) of one is fully deconstructed, that of the other 2 disappear with it.

Edited May 30, 2021 by The0Self