Need Career/Work Resolution ASAP

[gggkkk]

I am trapped like a rat? and need a resolution. I feel I need to share this and hopefully receive some new perspectives so that I can change something about my financial situation.  

Context: 
I am 21, living in Canada, with my parents and currently studying Computer Networking at a collage. I just started with the 5th semester out of 6 in total after a year of co-op. 
Now the problem is that I never liked this career path, however was forced by my parents to pursue it due to my inability to pick a program in my early teens (huge blunder). At this time I had no actualized.org, no wisdom, no psychedelics, no understanding of anything. I was a kid who just liked to experiment with different hobbies.

The Problem:

Now I am grinding through these semesters, one by one, barely keeping my marks up to survive. Trying to pass tests without deeply learning or understanding most of the material. This was apparent during my coop. Although I was praised for completing the work and having good leadership and organizational skills, I feel weak at my technical skills. And I hate this. I hate being mediocre. Sometimes my family encourages me to push through and graduate and that there is only one year left, then I can be free, but of course I will be free from that struggle and immediately be pulled into the next (a full time job).  

And what's worse about it is that I am not a lazy person, in fact a very passionate one and have no problem succeeding in the undertakings which I find meaningful and interesting. But I lost my passions and I need time to experiment with different things/hobbies/paths again since I am not very clear on what I want. Especially with my new knowledge about enlightenment and psychedelic experiences it's extremely hard to just pursue something and dedicate time to it  since I don't have any time to waste.

Although I am experimenting with certain personal projects and have some ideas for my life purpose, these endeavors need years to make some income off of. I need to make some money to support myself. If I grind and graduate, to get a job in the IT/networking field, yes I can make a decent income, but I have already been there (during co-op) and know how it feels to work at a 9-5 where you don't like what you are doing and are not very competent at it, let alone be excellent or a genius. I don't want to be a poor performer. And it's not only about not liking the job, but also where is the meaning? I am going to be securing and providing networking solutions to big companies that negatively impact society? WHY?

Solution: 

That's my story. Basically I want to hear if there is a way of supporting one's minimum needs with a neutral job, which is not going to drain your mental energy and is not going to constantly require improving your technical skills, so that I can focus my energy and time on strategizing, experimenting, and learning. I am open to hear any perspective. Maybe I am stupid and I need to stay in school and listen to what others are telling me. It can even be a radical one. Like drop out and go become a monk or something.

Some random ideas that I have:

• Save money to buy a small piece of land and build a cabin to live, while working part time to buy food, pay bills etc. 
• Quickly learn graphic design/editing/website building skills and do freelance work. 
• Go live as a monk for 1-2 years (don't know how that's practically possible though) 
• Some kind of job in the psychedelic field? Contribute to the psychedelic research in some way? Maybe become a guinea pig? ?
• Become a runner and do competitions? (I love running) 
• Do 5-meo  and maybe that will put things in place. (I have 5-meo but don't know if I should take it during school, since it can be very very radical and get in the way of this academic endeavor. (Opinions about this would also be appreciated) 

[Matt23]

I skipped most of what your read (:P), but here's my general big picture perspective/advice:

• Put things into these categories.
  1. Do first: The Sweet n' Juicies:
     1. Things you most want to do and/or things you think will have the highest return on investment (whatever the return is, be it financial, emotional, or getting more clear about your values, etc.) while also being things that are easiest to do, are the least risky, and require the least amount of personal investment and commitment to do.
  2. Do second: Tearing The Band-aid Off Quick (maybe third)
     1. Things that you don't necessarily think will help a ton and/or things you don't really want to do while also being things that are easy, least risky and costly, and require the least amount of personal investment to do.
  3. Do third: The Long-Term Game (maybe second depending on what you think/feel)
     1. Things that you really want to do and think will have a high return on investment while also being things that require a high personal investment, are risky, and aren't that easy to do.
  4. Do fourth: the Backburner
     1. Things you don't want to do nor do you think will have a large return on investment while also  being things that require a large personal investment and risk to do while not being easy.  

Obviously it's just a template and use it as it suits you and what you think.  I think I got it from Jamie Wheal as a decision-making guide. 

It's a 4x4 grid:

• Like
• Dislike
•              Hard to do ---- Easy to do

Basically...

• Do what you most want to do that easiest to do immediately.  Then do what's easiest to do but you don't really want to do next.  Then do what you really want to do but is hard to do.  Then leave things you don't want to do and are difficult to do last.  

So do all the shit that you can right now.  All the easy stuff.  Go explore, have experiences.  Do some psychedelics if that's easy for you right now or something, while also thinking about longer-term goals that you really want to do but take more effort and planning etc.  And doing shit you don't like which is kinda easy might be a dud, but it also might lead you to discover something new and awesome.  Never know.  

Remember, hold this frame loosely.  I think life is more complicated than a 4x4 chart   Follow your intuition and inner voice and reason as top brass. 

[Girzo]

15 hours ago, gggkkk said:

That's my story. Basically I want to hear if there is a way of supporting one's minimum needs with a neutral job, which is not going to drain your mental energy and is not going to constantly require improving your technical skills, so that I can focus my energy and time on strategizing, experimenting, and learning. I am open to hear any perspective. Maybe I am stupid and I need to stay in school and listen to what others are telling me. It can even be a radical one. Like drop out and go become a monk or something.

Okay, I might have some ideas for you, radical or not, you might like them.

So, let's start point by point.

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Save money to buy a small piece of land and build a cabin to live, while working part time to buy food, pay bills etc. 

Cabin, I have thought it through, is not really a sustainable choice. You can have higher level of living and more possibilites living in a small apartment in the city. Costs are similar, cabins are actually quite expensive. You don't need to live in the forest to do spiritual work, haha. And you are young, so sex oppurtinities, etc. Having a girlfriend/boyfriend (whatever rocks your boat) is cool, you can move to a cabin when you are older.

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Quickly learn graphic design/editing/website building skills and do freelance work. 

Could be possible, but there's a lot of competition of people who love this job and also what if you would be mediocre at it as you are at IT jobs, wouldn't that also be psychologically draining? For an easy job for an easy buck, I suggest helping younger students with Maths. It should be easy for you to find clients, because of having Computer Science-related degree. It's good money, nice job, better rates than entry graphic design jobs, you set the hours. I would only go for the web/graphic design if you want to build sales skills, because that's the only reasonable way to make good money there, to be a great marketer.

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Go live as a monk for 1-2 years (don't know how that's practically possible though) 

You can go serve on retreats, do volountering from Workaway.info, etc. for two years if you have such a need. Good option if you want to explore the world and meet interesting people.

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Some kind of job in the psychedelic field? Contribute to the psychedelic research in some way? Maybe become a guinea pig? ?

Possible, but hard to do. Need some education in that direction or a lot of connections. You would have to save some money and buy tickets to the psychedelic conferences whenever you can attend one, check your local drug activism organizations, or become a great entertainer and start psychedelic-related YT channel, TikTok, or whatever social network shit there will be in the future.

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Become a runner and do competitions? (I love running) 

Only you can know how much you love running. If you want to know a perspective of someone who did decide to pursue that path, then Rich Roll has written a cool book called "Finding Ultra". Journey from obese lawyer to ultra-marathon runner.

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Do 5-meo  and maybe that will put things in place. (I have 5-meo but don't know if I should take it during school, since it can be very very radical and get in the way of this academic endeavor. (Opinions about this would also be appreciated) 

If you have waited for so long, then I would wait till the end of school and do it as a big event to end that chapter of life and start a new one, just how Leo described in of his best epsiodes "Life Unfolds in Phases..." or something like that, I don't remember the exact title.

[gggkkk]

@Girzo thanks for breaking it down like this. These are actually very insightful. ?

[gggkkk]

@Matt23 definitely an interesting model. Thanks!

[Lincisman]

I highly recommend reading Cal Newport's book " So good they can't ignore you" this will shift your perspective and maybe even free yourself from the passion mindset which may be the thing that cause those problems. And I wouldn't recommend to do any shift to a field where you do not have any career capital (concept from the book). Good luck.

[Lincisman]

On 5/29/2021 at 2:56 AM, gggkkk said:

at a 9-5 where you don't like what you are doing and are not very competent at it, let alone be excellent or a genius.

 One more thing, the reason why you don't like the job might be precisely because you do not feel competent. Could that be the case?

[Yarco]

So what I'm hearing is that you know what you DON'T want to do. I haven't heard much about what you DO want to do. Or even what you think you might want to do. 

If you haven't taken the Life Purpose Course yet, I'd highly recommend it. It'll help you out with this.

On 5/28/2021 at 7:56 PM, gggkkk said:

Save money to buy a small piece of land and build a cabin to live, while working part time to buy food, pay bills etc. 

Go live as a monk for 1-2 years (don't know how that's practically possible though) 

These 2 options I see as just trying to run away from your problems. You definitely haven't thought about this too in-depth.

So you move to the middle of nowhere and build a cabin. (Nowhere near cities has land that you can just buy and build a cabin on.) Have you looked into whether you can get internet in that kind of place? Probably not, or if you can it'll be slow and expensive satellite internet. Maybe not even good enough to stream videos on. Work part-time... where? If you're living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, there are very few jobs available. Also in remote places, food and everything else tends to be more expensive too.

I am quite familiar with this option.... even this week I found myself looking at places 7 hours up north. Found a sweet house on 72 acres on an island with a population of 2k people for about $500k. But then where would my wife work, what's the internet situation? I looked how far it was to the nearest Tim Hortons, McDonalds, or anything and it was over an hour. It's easy to romanticize that kind of lifestyle but I don't think many people would actually like to live it. Same with being a monk and doing the same boring stuff every day.

On 5/28/2021 at 7:56 PM, gggkkk said:

Quickly learn graphic design/editing/website building skills and do freelance work. 

If you actually like graphic design or building websites, this is an option. This is the path that I took. My story is actually very similar to yours... Canadian, got into a career just to appease my parents (accounting), then quit and started my own business as a freelance writer.

It's not hard to learn some basic graphic design skills and start offering your services on Fiverr or something similar just to test it out. You can always see if you like doing it for a bit in your spare time, and then decide to either fully commit or find something else.

On 5/28/2021 at 7:56 PM, gggkkk said:

Some kind of job in the psychedelic field? Contribute to the psychedelic research in some way? Maybe become a guinea pig? ?

Become a runner and do competitions? (I love running) 

I think these ones are kind of just excuses. You also probably like eating, but that doesn't mean being a chef is a good idea for you.

Getting into the psychedelic field in any meaningful capacity means going back to school and studying a lot of chemistry and stuff that you will probably find boring.

How would being a runner give back to society or create anything good for others? What do you get out of it except a brief good feeling when you get a new personal best? Exercise is important but unless you're already an elite athlete, I don't think it's worth basing a life purpose around.