What's up with this whole 'daddy' thing?

[ivankiss]

3 hours ago, Proserpina said:

@ivankiss I understand.  I've been a parental figure to my partners and it would make me nauseous.

Yup, can relate to that too. My mother had pretty much zero emotional intelligence. She was always so distant, absent... And my father... Well, I barely saw the dude 5 times in my life.

And would you look at that... I don't have the need to turn my lovers into my mommy or my daddy. Because I was dealing with my shit throughout my life. I dared to feel all that crap.

Totally hear ya regarding acting child-like in a relationship though. I like that shit too. But that can also turn toxic.

If two individuals do not have their inner child stuff resolved before committing to a relationship... It can quickly turn nasty.

So yeah... (speaking in general) I don't sympathise much with folks who are pissed about what I said here. You're not special or anything in that sense. You're not the only one who had family issues. You just don't have the balls to face your own shit. You'd rather keep yourself distracted forever and bitch about how hard life is for you.

I cannot respect that, sorry. I can only say my thing and then step away. 

[Roy]

Girls who do this (unironically), are basically advertising with flashing neon signs and a nuclear siren that they are riding toxic Stage Orange values into the sun.

Whatever you gotta say about it is fine, but at least we can appreciate the honesty.

[ivankiss]

@Roy Haha. Well said.

I don't understand... Why can't we have crazy, kinky sex without ruining each-other's lives? And our future kids..

I truly believe that can be done. There can be a healthy way to explore and enjoy all that mumbo jumbo. Without literally turning your lover into your parent.

[blankisomeone]

18 hours ago, ivankiss said:

No I won't be your daddy, you poor little traumatized soul.

??????????????????????????????????? You just made my fucking day

[WaveInTheOcean]

We all have our different perspectives on things. Be glad for all the infinite varieties of life ... Find a girl who's beyond that game (but now ofc just plays a "higher" or different kind of game based on her baseline level of consciousness). You're also playing a game.

We are all playing ????

 

[diamondpenguin]

@ivankiss Just takes acceptance and compassion of the girl for who she is. Like, why judge her? 

[ivankiss]

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks, but I'm not really looking for a dating advice here. This is just me speaking of my experiences and expressing my thoughts about the mainstream dating scene.

@diamondpenguin This is not about one girl. Or one guy. But I get your point.

Judgment is not all bad. That dawned on me recently. Judgment can be very useful and effective if done correctly in reasonable measures. Especially while swimming through these orange waters.

I can I assure you that I do not lack compassion for people who suffer. I lack this - if anything. Speaking my mind and not giving a fuck about anything else, at all. This is how I'm balancing things out in my personal experience atm. Which, again, is not exactly the point of this thread.

Edited May 29, 2021 by ivankiss

[AlwaysJoggin]

it just makes me more turned on during sex if a girl calls me daddy , like the girl im taking care of her and treating her well so im her daddy now

lol idk why it turns me on but has to do with dominance i guess.

[B222]

I used to think pills were mega but actualised.org, don’t fuck wi them kids ?? 

[UDT]

@Emerald Gosh thanks you cured my issue with the word, now I can live in peace again  Muchas gracias

[MatteO22]

All I know is that I love it! Not because of some weird parental fetish but because as a guy it makes me feel wanted and appreciated which is a big emotional need for me.

’I want you daddy’... Darnn... makes me go wild 

[tatsumaru]

Freud suggested that low “self-regard” was caused by a child’s discovery that he or she could not have sexual intercourse with Mother or Father, which resulted in the helpless feeling, “I can do nothing.”. it isn't too hard to understand why a girl might be sexually attracted to her father. From an evolutionary perspective he was the first male that imprinted on her what reliability is. He provided for the family, he defended the family and made them feel safer and he often made love to the mother in front of the children since there were no rooms then. Also it's easy to think of your father as someone who is less likely to let you down or betray you or take advantage of you as opposed to some random brute on the plains. On the boy's side the mother was the first woman who loved him and let him touch her body and suck on her nipples.

Also when species are critically endangered they are wired to procreate with their relatives in order to survive since from an evolutionary perspective it's worse to disappear as a species than to take the risk of generating a genetic disorder and it's not like they rationalized it, they just knew that if there was no one else left to mate with, you might as well do your sister or w/e.

Actually there is something called the Toba catastrophe theory which suggests that around 70k years ago a megamassive supervolcano errupted in what is present day Indonesia and basically destroyed a massive amount of biological life throughout the whole world. It's estimated that only 2000-10000 people were left on the whole planet. Geneticists have noticed the curious fact that any two humans have almost identical DNA. By contrast, any two chimpanzees can have more genetic variation between them than is found in the entire human population. Mathematically, one theory to explain this phenomenon is to assume that, at the time of the explosion, most humans were wiped out, leaving only a handful of us —about two thousand people. Remarkably, this dirty, raggedy band of humans would become the ancestral Adams and Eves who would eventually populate the entire planet. I bet girls back then had plenty of daddy issues, lol.

Whether you like it or not is irrelevant, nature doesn't care about the latest political trends in social psychology or about your fabricated ideas of normalcy and depravity.

On 5/29/2021 at 5:37 PM, Roy said:

Girls who do this (unironically), are basically advertising with flashing neon signs and a nuclear siren that they are riding toxic Stage Orange values into the sun.

Whatever you gotta say about it is fine, but at least we can appreciate the honesty.

Isn't that patriarchy stuff actually Blue? Or maybe I am not getting what you mean.

Edited May 30, 2021 by tatsumaru

[WaveInTheOcean]

On 29.5.2021 at 7:34 PM, ivankiss said:

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks, but I'm not really looking for a dating advice here. This is just me speaking of my experiences and expressing my thoughts about the mainstream dating scene.

@diamondpenguin This is not about one girl. Or one guy. But I get your point.

Judgment is not all bad. That dawned on me recently. Judgment can be very useful and effective if done correctly in reasonable measures. Especially while swimming through these orange waters.

I can I assure you that I do not lack compassion for people who suffer. I lack this - if anything. Speaking my mind and not giving a fuck about anything else, at all. This is how I'm balancing things out in my personal experience atm. Which, again, is not exactly the point of this thread.

Which of the 9 Enneagram types are you according to the Enneagram model?

[ivankiss]

@WaveInTheOcean Just did the test. Apparently I'm an individualist.

Why asking?

[WaveInTheOcean]

1 hour ago, ivankiss said:

@WaveInTheOcean Just did the test. Apparently I'm an individualist.

Why asking?

You are either a 5 with wing 4 or a 4 with wing 5. Check out http://enneagramschoolofawakening.org/the-9-types - they have some pretty neat direct spiritual pointers about each type. Enjoy.

[Heart of Space]

On 5/28/2021 at 9:44 PM, Emerald said:

Now, I can understand the intensity of your reaction as someone who has some sub kinks.

And I’ve worked 1-on-1 in life-coaching with several people dealing with more intense versions of these kinks/fetishes.

And I’m going to wager that the OP doesn’t really understand the scope of how triggering the criticisms he’s giving can be for someone dealing with fetish. 

And I’ll also wager that he doesn’t realize that people with kinks don’t really choose to have them. Lots of people try so hard to get rid of them because of the shame they feel.

So, I don’t think getting into a pissing match with him is really going to get him to understand these things.

Also, considering that he posted this, it does show that something about this fetish is triggering for him... perhaps highlighting some analogous internal dynamics, even if they don’t necessarily express as fetish.

He personally admitted to having an insecurity and was blaming and shaming others for his own issues.  That is text book bullying.  

You're essentially coddling someone who was in the process of sexually shaming women for his own issues.  

He should deal with his issues in the right way.  He has no excuse, he is clearly a fully grown man.  I did not react the wrong way to the situation.

I even got banned for it.  I'll do it again too.  They can ban me each time and I'll continue doing it.  Period.  

Edited June 6, 2021 by Heart of Space

[Willie]

DDLG is definitely a thing. It’s not figurative language. It’s the actual relationship dynamic.

[RedLine]

some freudian weird stuff

definitely something to avoid

Edited June 7, 2021 by RedLine

[StarStruck]

On 28-5-2021 at 11:13 PM, ivankiss said:

'Would you be my daddy?'

No I won't be your daddy, you poor little traumatized soul.

Are people seriously enjoying this? I mean, yeah, cool, have your kinks and stuff. I am very pro kink. But this shit is kinda twisted. And a bit sad.

It screams in your face 'daddy issues'. These girls more often than not seek a parent figure, actually. Not a boyfriend. 

Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda sick you want your daddy to f*$@ you and pull your hair?

I mean... what?

To me it seems absolutely absurd to approach a girl with; 'hey sexy, wanna be my mommy?'

Haha. The fuck.

Some of you people are nasty motherfuckers. Like, you need to sort out some shit before you start screwing around.

Because this trend sucks.

I get that it's a power play. Submission and dominance. I'm all in for that. If I enter a role play like that; I demand the girl to call me 'Master'. That seems kinda healthy, doesn't it? It is a very dominant position. And it does not involve her family. 

Am I not seeing something here?

People don't chose their childhoods and their kinks so it is not very empathetic to talk about it like that. Personally I really love to put the fear of god into a girl in bed. As long as both parties enjoy it I don't see a problem.

[ivankiss]

@StarStruck

Yeah, my original post is meant to be a bit provocative. But I ain't bullying anyone here - like @Heart of Space is claiming. And I also got my shit under control.

I made my point clear. I think it's (more often than not) a toxic dynamic. That's it.