What's up with this whole 'daddy' thing?

[ivankiss]

@Emerald You are twisting my point. Or so it seems to me. Sorry.

Nowhere am I saying that kinks are inherently abusive. Kinks can be an awesome way to work through shit and simultaneously enjoy it. And I am all for that.

But that's not what's happening on the mainstream dating scene. What's happening is codependece and abuse. And the name of the game is 'daddy'.

But careful not to assume here that what I'm saying is that all people who join the trend are abusers/victims. Or that the word itself is the source of all abuse. No. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is, that a lot of abuse happens because a bunch of little girls are looking for their daddies and a bunch of naughty boys are abusing that opportunity. And what I'm also saying is; that if you work on your shit... calling someone daddy simply won't be appealing or arousing anymore. At least in my opinion.

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

that if you work on your shit... calling someone daddy simply won't be appealing or arousing anymore. At least in my opinion.

Men and women who find it appealing are operating through low consciousness. You're absolutely right that they need to raise their vibe. And standards 

 

[ivankiss]

@Preety_India Yep. But keep them kinks.

God loves that shit.

Just bring light to it. AKA consciousness.

 

[Preety_India]

@ivankiss then what's the point of the thread lol. 

 

[ivankiss]

@Preety_India What do you mean?

It's obvious.

Consciousness.

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Emerald You are twisting my point. Or so it seems to me. Sorry.

Nowhere am I saying that kinks are inherently abusive. Kinks can be an awesome way to work through shit and simultaneously enjoy it. And I am all for that.

But that's not what's happening on the mainstream dating scene. What's happening is codependece and abuse. And the name of the game is 'daddy'.

But careful not to assume here that what I'm saying is that all people who join the trend are abusers/victims. Or that the word itself is the source of all abuse. No. I'm not saying that. What I am saying is, that a lot of abuse happens because a bunch of little girls are looking for their daddies and a bunch of naughty boys are abusing that opportunity. And what I'm also saying is; that if you work on your shit... calling someone daddy simply won't be appealing or arousing anymore. At least in my opinion.

I thought you were referring to simply the act of calling a man “daddy” in bed and being aroused by it. Or a man enjoying being called “daddy” in bed.

Basically something that has a beginning and an end that’s a dynamic explored in the bedroom, where there is otherwise a balanced relationship.

In which case, I think that’s fine to explore and doesn’t inherently hurt anyone. Though it’s still wise to explore deeper as kinks can tell us a lot about ourselves.

Now, if someone’s lifestyle is completely swallowed up in this dynamic, then there’s a problem. And I can certainly see some very dysfunctional dynamics with codependency come up.

[ivankiss]

@Emerald Now we're on the same page.

I'm semi-fine with the bedroom only thing. And I guess I'm totally fine with it if its done (more or less) consciously.

But that's not what I'm emphasizing in this thread. It's the toxic dynamic happening before, during and after the bedroom activity.

That's what most people are signing up for on the market. Not just calling someone 'daddy' in bed.

Edited May 28, 2021 by ivankiss

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Emerald Now were on the same page.

I'm semi-fine with the bedroom only thing. And I guess I'm totally fine with it if its done (more or less) consciously.

But that's not what I'm emphasizing in this thread. It's the toxic dynamic happening before, during and after the bedroom activity.

That's what most people are signing up for on the market. Not just calling someone daddy in bed.

Yeah, I could see living that lifestyle as being a way for codependent and narcissistic people to treat the other as their other half.

The codependent externalizes and projects their personal sovereignty onto others, where the narcissistic adopts a hyper-sovereign personsa.

So, this dynamic can be helped by either person getting in touch with their own emotional compass and genuine personal sovereignty.

[ivankiss]

@Emerald Yup. Like how you put that.

Been there, done that.

Either you get real and level with yourself and each-other.. Or you leave and never look back.

What was interesting in my case was that I wasn't getting off of being her daddy. . Nor was I having mommy issues.. (ok, maybe just a little) But... I was attracted as hell to her. I wanted to be her savior. Her protector. Her provider... Her... daddy?

Wait a minute...

[Emerald]

Just now, ivankiss said:

@Emerald Yup. Like how you put that.

Been there, done that.

Either you get real and level with yourself and each-other.. Or you leave and never look back.

What was interesting in my case was that I wasn't getting off of being her daddy. . Nor was I having mommy issues.. (ok, maybe just a little) But... I was attracted as hell to her. I wanted to be her savior. Her protector. Her provider... Her... daddy?

Wait a minute...

Aha!!! The truth always rises! ? J/K

[ivankiss]

@Emerald  Much love and respect to you.

 

[Etherial Cat]

59 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It could be about invoking that more archetypal paternal masculine quality.

Sex as an archetypal symbol is all about the interplay between the masculine and feminine... which can be expressed through certain God images.

So, that could be part of it... wanting to tap into that archetype and the feminine counterpart to that archetype.

 

27 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Emerald Yup. Like how you put that.

Been there, done that.

Either you get real and level with yourself and each-other.. Or you leave and never look back.

What was interesting in my case was that I wasn't getting off of being her daddy. . Nor was I having mommy issues.. (ok, maybe just a little) But... I was attracted as hell to her. I wanted to be her savior. Her protector. Her provider... Her... daddy?

Wait a minute...

?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that parents are archetypal figure of the two polarities and the first "love" providers. The two notions-  parents and lovers of the opposite sex- could be then mixed as there are some common denominators. 

Like, kind of re-using an old blueprint that doesn't fit.

Edited May 29, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[ivankiss]

@Etherial Cat Right now I don't know and I like it that way 

But I'm contemplating in the back of my mind.

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

 

?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that parents are archetypal figure of the two polarities and the first "love" providers. The two notions-  parents and lovers of the opposite sex- could be then mixed as there are some common denominators. 

Like, kind of re-using an old blueprint that doesn't fit.

That makes a lot of sense actually. Interesting connection between the archetypal parents and the archetypal lovers. 

[Heart of Space]

3 hours ago, ivankiss said:

'Would you be my daddy?'

No I won't be your daddy, you poor little traumatized soul.

Are people seriously enjoying this? I mean, yeah, cool, have your kinks and stuff. I am very pro kink. But this shit is kinda twisted. And a bit sad.

It screams in your face 'daddy issues'. These girls more often than not seek a parent figure, actually. Not a boyfriend. 

Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda sick you want your daddy to f*$@ you and pull your hair?

I mean... what?

To me it seems absolutely absurd to approach a girl with; 'hey sexy, wanna be my mommy?'

Haha. The fuck.

Some of you people are nasty motherfuckers. Like, you need to sort out some shit before you start screwing around.

Because this trend sucks.

I get that it's a power play. Submission and dominance. I'm all in for that. If I enter a role play like that; I demand the girl to call me 'Master'. That seems kinda healthy, doesn't it? It is a very dominant position. And it does not involve her family. 

Am I not seeing something here?

You're being a condescending moron.

Why are you kink shaming people?  It's extremely common.  Sounds like you have daddy issues yourself tbh.

Like it's extremely obvious that there's a personal problem you're dealing with.  I'm so grossed out rn by your post.   Ew

[ivankiss]

@Heart of Space Felt that. Thanks.

(bet you read through the whole thread carefully, too)

I guess it's a false alarm then. Nothing weird going on there. It's all cool the way it is.

Keep it up people!

Edited May 29, 2021 by ivankiss

[Harlen Kelly]

@Heart of Space Don't you think you might be overreacting?

Also, shouldn't we strive to be respectful and not use foul language to raise the standards of the forum? 

Edited May 29, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[ivankiss]

@Heart of Space Wow.

I am trying to do what now? Trigger subs? Whatever the hell that means..  Are you feeling alright there? 

Look.. You're pissed and I don't give too many fucks about it. Go do your shit and let me do mine, cool? I am not triggering anyone on purpose here. And I'm not the one who's personally attacking someone here. You need to chill down or else I'll turn off the internet.

Also; I am not going to apologise if some of you do get triggered for whatever reason. This is a forum. People post all kinds of shit here. If I'm violating any rules - mods be sure to act accordingly, please. Warn me or lock the thread or whatever. I am not aware of anything like that going on here.

Edited May 29, 2021 by ivankiss

[Heart of Space]

4 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Heart of Space Wow.

I am trying to do what now? Trigger subs? Whatever the hell that means..  Are you feeling alright there? 

Look.. You're pissed and I don't give too many fucks about it. Go do your shit and let me do mine, cool? I am not triggering anyone on purpose here. And I'm not the one who's personally attacking someone here. You need to chill down or else I'll turn off the internet.

Also; I am not going to apologise if some of you do get triggered for whatever reason. This is a forum. People post all kinds of shit here. If I'm violating any rules - mods be sure to act accordingly, please. Warn me or lock the thread or whatever. I am not aware of anything like that going on here.

You're lucky, the mods will not warn you because they do not understand what you were doing.

You're free to be manipulating bullying twat on the forum all you want.  

[ivankiss]

@Heart of Space Thank you for your blessings. Feeling so lucky, ineed.

I'm so lucky that I see past bullshit like this. You know why? Because I ate a lot of it in my life. By bullshitters like yourself. 

I see right through it now. But many might not. Not until they go through all that pain and suffering. 

So go ahead. Encourage that shit. It's all a circus already, right? Let's all fuck our daddies and mommies and never dare to ask ourselves a single question about anything.

Yeah.. I'm not gonna be on that party. Have fun.