What's up with this whole 'daddy' thing?

[ivankiss]

'Would you be my daddy?'

No I won't be your daddy, you poor little traumatized soul.

Are people seriously enjoying this? I mean, yeah, cool, have your kinks and stuff. I am very pro kink. But this shit is kinda twisted. And a bit sad.

It screams in your face 'daddy issues'. These girls more often than not seek a parent figure, actually. Not a boyfriend. 

Am I the only one who thinks it's kinda sick you want your daddy to f*$@ you and pull your hair?

I mean... what?

To me it seems absolutely absurd to approach a girl with; 'hey sexy, wanna be my mommy?'

Haha. The fuck.

Some of you people are nasty motherfuckers. Like, you need to sort out some shit before you start screwing around.

Because this trend sucks.

I get that it's a power play. Submission and dominance. I'm all in for that. If I enter a role play like that; I demand the girl to call me 'Master'. That seems kinda healthy, doesn't it? It is a very dominant position. And it does not involve her family. 

Am I not seeing something here?

[Preety_India]

I like bdsm and the Sub dom type dynamic but I don't like the whole daddy thing. 

 

[ivankiss]

@Preety_India So I'm not the only one. Good.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@ivankiss

Yeah, it might sound awkward and shit but I think you're overanalyzing it. It's just a chick that said kinky shit, like you saying "can I suck your tits, mum" - yeah, it's weird, but it's funny, it releases tension and makes everything more fun. It's whatever.

If that really bothers you, just ask why she said that, she'll give you her reasons and you'll discuss the solution. I don't see a problem here. 

If that's not even your personal problem, that judgement is just to feel better about yourself or something like that to justfuck around analyzing stupid shit lol.

[Preety_India]

@28 cm unbuffed it's not stupid. Sometimes it's a reflection of daddy issues and a healthy guy doesn't wish to deal with that shit. No offense 

 

Edited May 28, 2021 by Preety_India

[ivankiss]

@28 cm unbuffed It's not just about the word. Although using it in that context is still fucked up, but ok.

It's more that these girls are literally looking for their daddy in a guy they're dating. I know what's it's like to be a father to my girlfriend, on a daily basis.

It's not fun.

To you it may be 'over-analyzing stupid shit'... To me it's 'common sense'.

There is a very toxic underlying dynamic taking place in these types of relationships. That's the real issue.

[28 cm unbuffed]

@ivankiss

Yeah, ok, you're right. Hunger in Africa is fucked up too. What is the purpose of this topic again?

[ivankiss]

@28 cm unbuffed Spreading awareness?

Daddy.

[Preety_India]

@28 cm unbuffed maybe the purpose of the thread is to express a certain opinion or sentiment. 

 

[Emerald]

My actual daddy hasn’t been called daddy in a very long time. His name is grandpa now. 

So, if I were to call my partner daddy, it’s only because of the association between  sex as being the act that makes a man a father. 

And if you look at (for example) some people who speak Spanish might call their partner Mami or Papi as a term of endearment expressing sexual attraction. And that comes from the association between parenthood and sex.

So, I don’t see calling a man daddy in a sexual way as weird because it would have nothing to do with my father. I see it more like Papi is used in Spanish.

But there’s a lot of cognitive dissonance when it comes to the connection between sex, sexual attraction, and child rearing. We like to see sex as separate from the urge for procreation.

This is one of the reasons why daddy sounds so weird, because we don’t like to think of the connection between sex and parenthood.

Edited May 28, 2021 by Emerald

[Preety_India]

@Emerald the term daddy in such fetishes is generally never used in the Spanish sense where the person is the parent of the future or present children, but more like the partner is parent of the partner. 

So if a girl calls him Daddy it means her own Daddy doing it to her, it's a perverted fetish that masochistic men are attracted to because it invokes their pedophilic side and such men enjoy the high it gives. They want to roleplay the daddy act. 

That's why it's attractive to them 

That's the context of the thread as well. The way the term is conventionally used in such dirty romances has nothing to do with parenthood 

[ivankiss]

@Emerald Something along those lines crossed my mind, too. And I guess, yeah, in that context it's cool. I just would not prefer it.

But let's be honest. That's not how the majority of people are going about it. It's not healthy like that. You are way too conscious compared to the majority.

The mainstream dating scene is kinda twisted.  That's the truth.

[Harlen Kelly]

@ivankiss Just be her daddy dude, no big deal. 

[ivankiss]

@Harlen Kelly Haha. Hopefully I won't be that desperate for pussy.

[Emerald]

Just now, Preety_India said:

@Emerald the term daddy in such fetishes is generally never used in the Spanish sense where the person is the parent of the future or present children, but more like the partner is parent of the partner. 

So if a girl calls him Daddy it means her own Daddy doing it to her, it's a perverted fetish that masochistic men are attracted to because it invokes their pedophilic side and such men enjoy the high it gives. They want to roleplay the daddy act. 

That's why it's attractive to them 

That's the context of the thread as well. The way the term is conventionally used in such dirty romances has nothing to do with parenthood 

I guess I just don’t see the term daddy as being about their actual dad the majority of the time.

I could definitely see it be more fetish-like than the Mami or Papi association as you’d mentioned. 

Though I genuinely believe that parenthood/sex connection accounts for most of the urge. 

But I think it might be more about the social unacceptability/taboo of the word and playing up to a submissive dynamic and to make the man feel more dominant.

I mean, it could be issues with the father. But I think ‘daddy’ is a pretty well-used taboo sexual term. So, I don’t necessarily think women that use that term are doing so out of some latent desire for their father’s love. It’s a common sex trope at this point.

 

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I guess I just don’t see the term daddy as being about their actual dad the majority of the time.

I could definitely see it be more fetish-like than the Mami or Papi association as you’d mentioned. 

Though I genuinely believe that parenthood/sex connection accounts for most of the urge. 

But I think it might be more about the social unacceptability/taboo of the word and playing up to a submissive dynamic and to make the man feel more dominant.

I mean, it could be issues with the father. But I think ‘daddy’ is a pretty well-used taboo sexual term. So, I don’t necessarily think women that use that term are doing so out of some latent desire for their father’s love. It’s a common sex trope at this point.

 

You got it all wrong. Ask most girls why they do it

My ex used to ask me to call him a dad but that was for perversion. I denied his request, rightfully so. 

Girls generally do it to impress the man who wants to feel like the dominant guy in the daddy position (think of the dirty thing) 

The main intent why a man enjoys or demands his girlfriend to call him daddy is often the corrupted reason and not the innocent reason. 

The innocent reason, like the Spanish expression is usually the minority. 

The majority reason why it's used is not for innocent purposes but for satisfying the pedophilic fetish and the urge to be dominant in being fatherly to the girl and thus deriving perverted pleasure out of controlling her. 

Ask people if you want. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@ivankiss Being her daddy, or playing out any kink for that matter is not a sign of ''desperation'', it's a sign of sexual openness and lack of judgement towards sexual activities, as long as that kink does not create collateral damage. 

Edited May 28, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[ivankiss]

Like, yeah, maybe it's about finding the perfect daddy for your children - so you're running around yelling 'daddy, daddy!'

Still kinda weird, but cool.

I get that it's a wildly accepted trend. Of course nearly no one questions it. They just flow with it. They're happy they're getting laid. They enjoy the emotions that come with the game. The power play. The kink. The nasty. All that jam.

But if I was one of those people, at some point I'd stop and say to myself: 'Wait a minute. This doesn't smell right. Why am I calling the guy that I'm screwing daddy?' There must be a reason the trend started in the first place. And I doubt it's a healthy one.

Edited May 28, 2021 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

2 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@ivankiss Being her daddy, or playing out any kink for that matter is not a sign of ''desperation'', it's a sign of sexual openness and lack judgement towards sexual activities, as long as that kink does not create collateral damage. 

Ok. Cool.

But it is, in fact, damaging. It is - in most cases - a toxic dynamic. In some; perverted.

Are you trying to say that the dating scene is perfect as it is and we should not strive to elevate the standards? Is there no room for improvement?

I'm telling you guys. There's something smelly going on there. Not in all cases - but most. That's all.

[bejapuskas]

I know cases in which it is not like that.