What did I do wrong with this hipster girl?

[Roy]

31 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I don't know anything about you? I read a lot of your comments, and your success with girls, I have seen your picture in the member's picture topic. What more do I need to know to make conclusions?

I'm not saying I shouldn't have principles. Perhaps my principles are different from your principles. Perhaps not everybody had the opportunities and privileges you have/had.

Forgive the extra quotes this forum isn't working on mobile for me. Anyways don't be so eager to come to conclusions. You see what I WANT you to see or choose to share online. What if I told you I struggled with girls for a long time. Didn't have sex from age 19 to 23. And got hardcore rejected on a date as early as last week. See, your perception isn't as clear as you might think.

But once again. The principle I am advocating is a very simple one. Just don't sexually pursue someone who is taken. There are plenty of other single people, abundance vs scarcity. Of course you can still talk to them and be a little flirty to gain experience, just be mindful of that line.

Consider, how would you feel if your girl exchanged numbers with a guy who was obviously trying to be more than friends? Exactly.

 

31 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

 

31 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

 

 

[Roy]

By all means @dflores321. Reap what you sow. Just be willing to be honest about the consequences afterwards and don't pretend you didn't see the light when you (and those you affected) are stewing in that suffering.

[StarStruck]

@dflores321 what were the consequences?

@Roy OK. You are right about premature conclusions but I don't agree on principles. Life has never been good to me although I never double crossed anybody or fucked another dudes girl. 

[tatsumaru]

3 hours ago, Roy said:

If you want to be a selfish scumbag devil, yes it is possible 

You must have a really low opinion of yourself if you think you are hurting girls by being with them. This isn't about covertly manipulating girls into believing they should cheat or leave their boyfriends when they don't want to. It's about having the courage to present yourself to the person you are attracted to and respect their choice when that choice might be to be with you instead of their old partner. A girl's made the choice to leave her old boyfriend for you and you reward this by punishing her for being attracted to you and breaking her heart? Wow so mature and selfless. More like some neurotic form of defeatism and self-deprecation. A girl is free to do whatever she wants, she doesn't belong to anyone, she isn't anybody's property. She's not owned by her old boyfriend. If she wants to leave, she leaves. To suggest that this was a mistake on her part is to suggest that she has no right to free will. What is this 2000 B.C. ?
 

1 hour ago, Roy said:

But once again. The principle I am advocating is a very simple one. Just don't sexually pursue someone who is taken. There are plenty of other single people, abundance vs scarcity. Of course you can still talk to them and be a little flirty to gain experience, just be mindful of that line.

You don't choose who you are attracted to or who you love. When you love, you love. You pursue. If she says no, then you leave. If she says yes you take her and love her like there's no tomorrow. Only silly men treat great women as something ordinary that can be passed on. Great people are rare and valuable, there's no abundance there. If you are satisfied with mediocrity then by all means pass on everyone who is in a relationship. Don't mistake this for some sort of chivalry though, it's just being too much of a cuck to admit that you want what you want and allow for things the unfold as she chooses to. (The fact that a bunch of girls lie that they have a boyfriend just to test your resolve is a whole different topic that I am not even going to address here, because right now we are simply focusing on honest communication).

8 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

Theres something petty/irresponsible about going for a girl with a bf. A man whose grounded in his purpose and has integrity will have no interest in a girl with a bf. 

If you are making claims like this you have to explain why, otherwise you are just stating your opinions as if they are objective truth and being manipulative. What is irresponsible or petty about it? I would say it's way more irresponsible to treat great women as a commodity and that the actual insecurity is to think of yourself so little that you would think that you are hurting them by being with them instead of some other guy who she chose to leave for you.

Edited May 29, 2021 by tatsumaru

[NoSelfSelf]

4 hours ago, tatsumaru said:

There's no mystery about what men want from women so there's no point in pretending. You have to be clear about what you want.

 

True what i meant is that its a subtle game where you show you want her but not too much its something like she knows that you want her but shes not sure 100% dynamic that's how our psyche works lol...

[Roy]

You can make whatever rationalizations you want @tatsumaru, it doesn't change anything or where you'll develop to (or won't).

"Snakes in the grass tryin'a slither fast, I just bought a fuckin lawnmower." - Joyner Lucas

 

[tatsumaru]

2 minutes ago, Roy said:

You can make whatever rationalizations you want @tatsumaru, it doesn't change anything or where you'll develop to (or won't).

"Snakes in the grass tryin'a slither fast, I just bought a fuckin lawnmower." - Joyner Lucas

 

I agree.

[tatsumaru]

On 5/29/2021 at 7:51 PM, StarStruck said:

You get a lot of girls so you can have "morals" and be on your pedestal, but for the hustler with average looks, every lead counts.

This reeks of desperation. "Every lead counts" = "No lead converts". You need to realize that you don't fix yourself by getting the girls. You get the girls by fixing yourself. Seeking external validation is a downward spiral which ends in hell. Check out a book called "The way of the superior man" by David Deida. I know what desperation is trust me, you have to let it go, your life isn't about getting laid, and if you think it is you will be extremely disappointed and underwhelmed if you manage to attract some desperate gal. Start by accepting that it's okay to never get laid in life (again) and trace your way back to sanity. Focus on what your life purpose is and everything else will fall into place. Right now you are just a beggar who begs girls for a free pass. You might not be doing it explicitly but implicitly that's what you are expressing. Is it attractive to you when a girl is desperate and needy? Even though looks matter, no amount of looks can compensate for not having uncovered your purpose in life.

[Arcangelo]

On 5/29/2021 at 11:41 AM, dflores321 said:

as twisted as this sounds, I think it's perfectly fine for a newbie like myself and @starstruck to hook up with taken girls.

It teaches you lessons and shows you how far you can take things. 

I agree. Women are not objects, they are not own by anyone. If she is in a relationship and decides to cheat is her call.

It also teaches a lesson to the BF about ''his'' girl.

 

@StarStruck  When a girl has BF giving your number is the way to go. When the BF starts acting like a wuss, guess who is she gonna call?

 

I am at stage orange and IDGAF

 

[StarStruck]

@flowboy Interesting. Do you actually strategically plan ahead (in that detail) when trying to be with a girl? That is very smart but I think I already ruined my chances with her when I pushed for a number when she was reluctant to give it to me. I notice that girls are very sensitive. If they sense neediness, it can be over very quick. It is hard to turn that around in my exp.

@tatsumaru "I know what desperation is trust me, you have to let it go, your life isn't about getting laid, and if you think it is you will be extremely disappointed and underwhelmed if you manage to attract some desperate gal." I wouldn't know how to do that. I definitely can suppress the feeling of wanting a girl or wanting sex but I would just push it into my shadow.

[tatsumaru]

13 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

@flowboy Interesting. Do you actually strategically plan ahead (in that detail) when trying to be with a girl? That is very smart but I think I already ruined my chances with her when I pushed for a number when she was reluctant to give it to me. I notice that girls are very sensitive. If they sense neediness, it can be over very quick. It is hard to turn that around in my exp.

@tatsumaru "I know what desperation is trust me, you have to let it go, your life isn't about getting laid, and if you think it is you will be extremely disappointed and underwhelmed if you manage to attract some desperate gal." I wouldn't know how to do that. I definitely can suppress the feeling of wanting a girl or wanting sex but I would just push it into my shadow.

There's no how to letting go, as there is no how to seeing or hearing. It's just something you can do. Imagine like you are holding something really heavy with your hand and because of that you can't move, someone comes along and tells you 'why don't you just let it go?' and you are like 'I don't know how to let it go'. That's what's happening right now. You are looking for some formula when instead you need to make a choice to let it go and let it go. It's all about giving yourself permission to let it go so you have to ask yourself why am I not giving myself permission to let it go? If you need more help with that check out a book called "The Sedona Method". Although for some reason based on your replies I feel like you want to keep digging for some reason. Maybe you like suffering.