How to surrender and let go?

[Someone here]

I found that the only way to find peace in life is through detachment and total let go. And total acceptance of my life situations no matter how unpleasant it might be to the ego. But I still am far far away from reaching that ideal. I'm still struggling with attachments.. Frustration when things don't go my way. And overall not very peaceful. How to go about surrendering my ego and my life to selflessness and peace? 

[lmfao]

One thing I thought about recently with letting go is the expectation of results. I.e. I might try to (let go)/(surrender) with the expectation that it removes whatever feeling or emotion I'm suffering. But it doesn't work like that. Letting go and true surrender in theory should mean that I'm actually fully with it and not resisting it, and hence aren't clinging to thoughts about whether the thing bothering me is gone yet.

I remember David Hawkins talking once about how he "sat with fear for 2 weeks straight" (which is a long time), and then I was like "aha, I'm not doing this properly".


David R Hawkins is the GOAT. Also Ralston ofc. Zen Body-Being is a great book. And I'm greatly concerned with my physical body and feeling things since I feel dissociated and floaty easily. It's hard to explore and let go of feelings if I'm not connected and feeling my body properly. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by lmfao

[Osaid]

"Live life as if everything is borrowed"

 

[OctagonOctopus]

Allow the source of pure Love to run threw you, purifying all of your being. Realize deeper and deeper how the fabric of reality is that Love, and that it is your inner most self. 

[BipolarGrowth]

On 5/26/2021 at 7:05 PM, Someone here said:

I found that the only way to find peace in life is through detachment and total let go. And total acceptance of my life situations no matter how unpleasant it might be to the ego. But I still am far far away from reaching that ideal. I'm still struggling with attachments.. Frustration when things don't go my way. And overall not very peaceful. How to go about surrendering my ego and my life to selflessness and peace? 

Well, you aren’t surrendering anything with this mindset. How do I force surrender... umm... I would say that you need to surrender to all of God which includes your ego as a very large part of what is in focus. If you see the ego as lower or a problem, you cannot surrender. You can only fight. You have an enemy. You have a shadow. You cannot fully love that which is in your shadow without first removing it from the shadow and bringing it to conscious attention. You have to love this thing to progress. You have to stop resisting this to progress. 
 

You can’t be awake if you spend all day demonizing and fighting something you claim doesn’t exist. 
 

Be your ego AND be God/all of Existence. This is the way. Love your inadequacies for they are assets in the eyes of God and the plan you as God have laid out for yourself. 

[Mason Riggle]

12 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Be your ego AND be God/all of Existence. This is the way.

Very nice.. but..

There is no other way.  I already AM [being my ego AND God/all of Existence] at all times, even when I think I'm not.  

You can't try to be what you already are.. but perhaps, if it occurs to you, you can be aware that there's nothing to do, because you're already always 'being how you are'.   

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Mason Riggle said:

You can't try to be what you already are.. but perhaps, if it occurs to you, you can be aware that there's nothing to do, because you're already always 'being how you are'.   

How will change occur? 

 

[Mason Riggle]

@Preety_India it's already occurring. 

Any attempt to change how things are occurring is just more 'how things are occurring'. 

Edited May 28, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[BipolarGrowth]

37 minutes ago, Mason Riggle said:

Very nice.. but..

There is no other way.  I already AM [being my ego AND God/all of Existence] at all times, even when I think I'm not.  

You can't try to be what you already are.. but perhaps, if it occurs to you, you can be aware that there's nothing to do, because you're already always 'being how you are'.   

Yeah, you’re getting it. Nothing you do will change Truth. It’s about finding a way to release the resistance which occurs as a result of believing separation & survival. Your survival will do itself. You do not need to be there for any executive functions to be handled properly. 

Edited May 28, 2021 by BipolarGrowth

[Mason Riggle]

@BipolarGrowth

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
 

[BipolarGrowth]

1 hour ago, Mason Riggle said:

@BipolarGrowth

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera, sera
 

?

[Kambido]

I don't understand... what's wrong with having attachments? What's wrong with frustration? What's wrong with going through pain? Why do you want to detach from these when these could easily be a most powerful asset. 

[hyruga]

Read Letting go by David Hawkins.

[sholomar]

Accept the emotional reactions as they occur, and try not to become involved in the stories these emotions try to create... merely mindfully observe the emotions and sensations and let them flow out until they are used up. Books that can help achieve this state of being... "Letting Go" by David Hawkins ... "The Open Focus Brain"  ... "Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself" ... these three come to mind but of course there are many. "Disappearance of the Universe" .. whatever clicks with  your ego mind and helps undo the karmic entanglements it has.

Some good videos of Leo's that come to mind... The Happiness Spectrum, 40 signs you are neurotic, How to deal with strong negative emotions, Meditation Techniques: Do Nothing, Overcoming Addiction, and of course, 65 principles for living the good life.

I see the guy above me had the same idea. Chuckle. I guess that means you better read that book!

Edited May 29, 2021 by sholomar

[RickyFitts]

I think having compassion for yourself rather than beating yourself up for not being able live up to your spiritual ideals is important - that doesn't make you a failure, it makes you human. And the more you fight your apparent inability to surrender, the more stuck you'll stay.

[mivafofa]

...

Try bottom gay sex.

[hyruga]

 

[Jacobsrw]

On 27/05/2021 at 9:05 AM, Someone here said:

I found that the only way to find peace in life is through detachment and total let go. And total acceptance of my life situations no matter how unpleasant it might be to the ego. But I still am far far away from reaching that ideal. I'm still struggling with attachments.. Frustration when things don't go my way. And overall not very peaceful. How to go about surrendering my ego and my life to selflessness and peace? 

Great ideal! I share this also and have been working on it more particularly and directly in recent times. Lately I’ve been exercising detachment far more than ever and it’s been very rewarding.

Here are some things I have found helpful during the process:

1. Establish clear body awareness. Notice what state of tension and feeling you are in throughout the day, especially when unable to let go. I found just observing my body more frequently eased tension and impulsivity ten fold. It’s also helpful to repeatedly throughout the day take moments to consciously relax the body and take in some deep inhalations and exhalations.

2. Admit of your flaws and errors, become undeniably vulnerable. I’ve found it extremely helpful to notably announce when I am wrong or to shed light on some area I am presently flawed in. This isn’t an exercise of self criticism and in constructive negativity. It’s being intentional about where you are presently at in life. For example, in multiple occasions, one being a date, I admitted that I am incompetent with affection and this probably has to do with my inability to properly receive it as a child. I therefore come off as unintentionally cold and distant sometimes. I also admitted I aim to improve this and am seeking to do so at present. Believe it or not, on my date this seem to increase attraction not squander it. I also confessed to a friend areas in which I feel de-masculated and poorly attractive. This allowed me to accept these things more deeply and look at ways to improve them. I became more authentic and genuine as a response, as if a distinct burdensome shadow began to disappear. I let go of the need to defend myself as I laid bear what I would usually defend.

3. Take long walks in nature without technological interference. Do this daily and you will be surprised of the benefits. Nature has this sort of oozing ambience that loosens the mind and the body. It tends to quiet thoughts too if you just simply take in the surroundings.

4. Observe your ego defences. Really begin to take note of what you defend most, whether personality traits, beliefs or just simply things you have been told to. This is extremely important for advancing your ability to let go. A large degree of resistances are maintained by the numerous self-defence mechanisms that have been erected. Every time you feel a need to defend, argue or resist a situation/person/idea really take a moment to be silent and observe. Take longer to respond and ask where this response is stemming from. Better yet, I’ve found it even more powerful to explore the other persons view when I am in a conversation. Speak less and ask more. You tend to learn more about yourself when in listening.

5. Think of what you have, not of what you have not. This is a principle from Marcus Aurelius, from his book Meditations (amazing book by the way). Really learn to recognise the good in all things you already have. In other words, cultivate gratitude. Not superficial appreciation but really joy for the great blessings you have. Some of these for me have been a warm shower, a comfy bed, books, a car for transport, internet, art and creativity. Put attention more on what you have and you will notice a subsequent jetting go for the things you do not.

6. Enjoy simplicity. Antithetical to hedonism, simplicity is really the act of being with what is. Or at least, being far closer to this state. Enjoy simple things.  Like reading, going for walks, catching up with a friend, doing something creative, a tea, morning sunshine, sitting in silence or nature, watching the stars, a board game, cleaning your house and reorganising old belongings etc. Really allow yourself to get grounded in simple everyday things our ego mind typically ignores. These things really are joys to be had. Becoming more aware of them will decrease the neediness of attachment to more grand things. It will humble your ego and decrease the incessant need for pleasure seeking.

There are many others but these are just a few from my experience that I can right now think of. Hope this helps to some degree!

[Someone here]

It seems strange that the more you let go, the greater the peace and happiness that comes to
you. The more you try to achieve anything like peace and happiness, your problems, your chaos,
your confusion, it comes with the so called happiness you try to achieve.
 

[Bodhitree]

On 27/05/2021 at 1:05 AM, Someone here said:

I found that the only way to find peace in life is through detachment and total let go. And total acceptance of my life situations no matter how unpleasant it might be to the ego. But I still am far far away from reaching that ideal. I'm still struggling with attachments.. Frustration when things don't go my way. And overall not very peaceful. How to go about surrendering my ego and my life to selflessness and peace? 

You’ve gotten quite close. If you examine your attachments one at a time with insight then you can see their roots. It will usually be some kind of ideal thats held in your mind, maybe an idealised image of how things ought to be. That will lead you to the emotions that lie behind these.