If the dating market is a market, then why it's not regulated,at least online dating

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

 

@Emerald  How would you go about improving the sexual relationships between men and women at a societal level without compromising the liberties and dignity of either party given that an increasingly percentage of the population is unable to get sexual relationships? 

Do you see the increasingly percentage of people unable to socialize as an issue? How would you go about solving it collectively and consciously? 

If I am not mistaken, currently 1/3 of the male population in their 30s are virgins. That used to be around 10% in 2010. 

The biggest problem right now at the societal level that contributes to this is that we live in a very atomized and isolated Stage Orange society, where most people live in their own bubble. And social media has made this a more comfortable bubble to live in. And porn certainly makes this comfort zone more comfortable for men to stay in as well.

And because relationship to community is the healthy organic way to meet partners, young men who live in such an atomized way may simply miss the opportunity to socialize with friends and potential partners. A young man may have to go out of his way to socialize in ways that his father didn't have to go out of his way for. 

So, the best solution to this issue on the individual level for the man (as @Etherial Cat said) is to integrate the feminine more which entails being more emotionally aware, more in touch with his instincts/body, and more social which will counter-intuitively make a man more relatable and more attractive to women, as intimacy is only possible with an integrated man. So, the integration of the Anima is key to healthy and attractive masculinity and it also cuts down the anxiety because the man is not grappling with and projecting his feminine side.

But collectively the best thing we can do is to connect with the feminine more which will lead us more into Stage Green which is community focused and will act as an antidote to all the isolation that comes from the hyper-masculinity and individualism of the Stage Orange paradigm.

Stage Blue was also community focused and the good part about it was the community and the connection. The bad part about it was the control and inability to be authentic and the need to fit a very certain mold.

But Stage Green community is more expansive and very inclusive while still having that tight-knit connection factor.

I think a big part of this shift to Green will be a move away from single family homes and atomized communities into more centrally planned communities like communes. 

I think you'll also see the rise of more polyamorous relationships as this shift happens. 

 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Emerald

[Preety_India]

Why are men so hell bent on controlling women ?

 

[Etherial Cat]

28 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

1 - I joined the forum not too long ago, like a month ago. So, I don't understand what you are alluding to. 

Surely a lot of people reading this post will be as amazed as I am with the coincidence. 

Quote

2 - Discussing what attracts women with women gaslighting macho men is a complete waste of time and I will not be engaging in that discussion, simply because there is not benefit to it. Unless I'd be interested in helping women gaslighting macho men, in that case it would be different. 

Fixed it for ya .

[Shin]

Op,

I have a good idea for you.

Just convert to Islam, get rich, and move to Saudi Arabia.

You can marry how many woman you want, divorce as much as you want (without consent), and abuse them how much you want (they have to give proof that you abuse them, which is almost never possible).

That's kind of what you want, but you can't admit it.

[Etherial Cat]

@Harlen Kelly

Also, feel free next time not to quote me, if you'll answer me by "I don't discuss this point with women". 

I just don't get it.  ???

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura It was more food for thought than anything else. I do not expect these things to actually be done in our lifetimes. However i do expect more awareness when it comes to what actually attracts men and females. The amount of disagreements you got on your "what women like in men" video showed how unconscious females are on what attracts them. I love stage green society but 1 thing which i do not like is how to completely destroys all polarities and treats female and male brains to be identical. I cannot even talk about stuff on "the way of the superior man" to most females i know because they will dismiss it as sexist stuff, "we are all the same, genders do not matter". Stage green is great and i prefer it over orange any day of the week, however this small technicality should be somewhat addressed. I do not think it is very unrealistic for males and females to know what they actually are attracted to. 

The rest i said like making RSD stuff "socially acceptable" wish washy wishful thinking which will not happen in god knows how long if ever.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Etherial Cat Sure.

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

 

One thing that I've noticed, yet never articulated before...

A lot of guys who try to polarize themselves into a more masculine way of being, end up with the energy/vibe of Invader Zim somehow. 

I always end up unconsciously picturing that I'm conversing with Invader Zim every time I'm in a discussion with these masculinity-obsessed guys.

Whereas, an actually masculine man tends to have a lot of gentle, warm, and feminine undertones to his energy which makes him better at socializing and attunement/awareness.

I'm just mentioning this in relation to the comment you made about the energy of these guys.

It's like in trying to polarize themselves so far into the masculine, there is a loss of the grounded personal sovereignty that can only come from a deep connection to the emotions and intuition... which are an aspect of the feminine.

 

[Harlen Kelly]

21 minutes ago, Emerald said:

The biggest problem right now at the societal level that contributes to this is that we live in a very atomized and isolated Stage Orange society, where most people live in their own bubble. And social media has made this a more comfortable bubble to live in. And porn certainly makes this comfort zone more comfortable for men to stay in as well.

And because relationship to community is the healthy organic way to meet partners, young men who live in such an atomized way may simply miss the opportunity to socialize with friends and potential partners. A young man may have to go out of his way to socialize in ways that his father didn't have to go out of his way for. 

So, the best solution to this issue on the individual level for the man (as @Etherial Cat said) is to integrate the feminine more which entails being more emotionally aware, more in touch with his instincts/body, and more social which will counter-intuitively make a man more relatable and more attractive to women, as intimacy is only possible with an integrated man. So, the integration of the Anima is key to healthy and attractive masculinity and it also cuts down the anxiety because the man is not grappling with and projecting his feminine side.

But collectively the best thing we can do is to connect with the feminine more which will lead us more into Stage Green which is community focused and will act as an antidote to all the isolation that comes from the hyper-masculinity and individualism of the Stage Orange paradigm.

Stage Blue was also community focused and the good part about it was the community and the connection. The bad part about it was the control and inability to be authentic and the need to fit a very certain mold.

But Stage Green community is more expansive and very inclusive while still having that tight-knit connection factor.

I think a big part of this shift to Green will be a move away from single family homes and atomized communities into more centrally planned communities like communes. 

I think you'll also see the rise of more polyamorous relationships as this shift happens. 

 

So, your thesis is that it will basically autocorrect itself as society moves to a more communal stage of consciousness. 

[Emerald]

9 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

So, your thesis is that it will basically autocorrect itself as society moves to a more communal stage of consciousness. 

Well, nothing really auto-corrects itself. People have to make these moves for this to happen. I don't anticipate this will be mainstream for at least a few more generations.

So, in the meantime, we have to adopt more patterns that match with Stage Green. And a big part of that is community creation with like-minded people, which can be done right now.

A man who is currently isolated and looking for a partner would find a far more fulfilling set-up by building his own friend group/network and dating within that network than going out and doing cold approach with random strangers or meeting women on a dating app.

Not saying he should avoid that because it isn't really and either/or, but it's just that these will be sub-optimal solutions to his isolation problem compared to the community building solution. 

It will also fulfill more of his social needs and take away that sense of not belonging, and it will confer more power/status to him as social relationship (mostly platonic) is how influence is derived. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Emerald

[Harlen Kelly]

@Emerald Suggesting ''just build your own friend group/network'' it's easy to say from my point of view or your point of view. But what about the people who lack the skills to socialize and are starting from zero. 

There is a fundamental dynamic you are missing in the behavioral patterns of a man with no sex appeal or friends.

For such a man, he would have to come in contact with or interact with people in order to form connections with them and he would have to develop basic social skills not to drive those people away. This is obvious. 

[Javfly33]

You guys are making a fuss out of something is not such a big deal.

Most Guys who don't get laid, with the exception of maybe guys which are unfortunately very very ugly or weird, it's simply a lack of confidence/self love which stems from childhood trauma/conditioning or self hate karmic herency from parents. This guys don't have the masculine side developed correctly so they are not attractive and they don't behave in an attractive manner to the opposite sex chronically.

The solution is simply mental health awareness . Dating advice and so on is a good thing for development but we should know what the basic root problem is. From that point Dating courses and social hacks and bootcamps are the "excuse" the guy will do and accomplish to finally realize there was nothing wrong with him. And of course long before that point the "incel" will stop being such since he will stop projecting any type of fault to women . Of course women are selective and like attractive guys, just as guys. It's such a duh. Unfortunately the sneaky projection of the mind makes the incel movement possible

Edited May 27, 2021 by Javfly33

[Etherial Cat]

44 minutes ago, Emerald said:

One thing that I've noticed, yet never articulated before...

A lot of guys who try to polarize themselves into a more masculine way of being, end up with the energy/vibe of Invader Zim somehow. 

I always end up unconsciously picturing that I'm conversing with Invader Zim every time I'm in a discussion with these masculinity-obsessed guys.

I get what you mean there. 

45 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Whereas, an actually masculine man tends to have a lot of gentle, warm, and feminine undertones to his energy which makes him better at socializing and attunement/awareness.

I'm just mentioning this in relation to the comment you made about the energy of these guys.

It's like in trying to polarize themselves so far into the masculine, there is a loss of the grounded personal sovereignty that can only come from a deep connection to the emotions and intuition... which are an aspect of the feminine.

It's like the difference between a bee and an asian hornet flying around a flower. 

With one, you know there might be some honey. With the other one... absolutely nothing !

Maybe even the destruction of the whole ecosystem if they keep proliferate. 

[Etherial Cat]

11 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

Lol I cannot even begin to imagine how lame and pathetic that would be?

You guys are all being softies. Just bring back the comfort women and be done with it. 

 

[Eren Eeager]

@Leo Gura

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

How about this: every hot woman in the country gets put into a jury duty lottery system. When her number comes up, she gets a letter in the mail with a pic of the incel she must open her legs for. Included is the incel's victim story of why life sucks and why talking to girls doesn't work. Incels can go to the SS office to redeem their hottie vouchers. Every incel gets 2 free lays per year with a random hottie.

(Jking)

Maybe this is why prostitution is legal in some countries like netherlands. Jobs for some women and sexual satisfaction for incels.

[WaveInTheOcean]

Why are such low conscious topics like this allowed? I'm getting nausea just reading three lines of op

To op: grow some fucking balls you fucking pussy

 

[Harlen Kelly]

@WaveInTheOcean You did not engage intellectually with the post. 

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Why are such low conscious topics like this allowed? I'm getting nausea just reading three lines of op

To op: grow some fucking balls you fucking pussy

Yeah, the framing of women as a ‘resource’ is certainly disturbing... but also unfortunately very common.

I get the response as it’s how I (and other women) feel about these kinds of posts.

But unfortunately they’re just going to turn it back on you for picking up on the ‘woman as commodity’ implication and say that you’re straw manning and misreading.

But really you’re just noticing the underlying meaning of the post... and responding to the dog whistle.

[Javfly33]

15 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

 

Incel movement is tied with the concept of blackpill, or belief that success in dating and life is only dependend on looks. They are not denying that women want attractive guys, quite the opposite. They instead believe that they cannot make themselves attractive, therefore the hopelesness and anger.

Just wanted to correct you there.

Right. They should have lived my life to experience first hand how that idelogy is so not accurate with reality  ?

[Shin]

22 minutes ago, Eren Eeager said:

@Leo Gura

Maybe this is why prostitution is legal in some countries like netherlands. Jobs for some women and sexual satisfaction for incels.

It's legal there cause it's actually more hurtful for those women to make it illegal.

Also, lots of money to make out of that, so ...

When it's legal like in Germany, you have guards and cameras, the job is regulated etc.

It changes everything for those women, cause they know they are safe, both physically (guards) and mentally (no need to live in weird places cause your money isn't legal + your job is more accepted by society).

Edited May 27, 2021 by Shin