Core inner game of dating.

[Spence94]

What are some of the cores and fundamentals of attraction and inner game in the dating game? What are the core concepts or areas of persoanal development that work on the nessesary sticking points and ego deficiencies that gerate the most change in a mans abiltiy to approach, meet and date women consistently and successfully over the long run?

• Eg. Non-neediness and addressing ones need to find fulfillment in other people, sex, intimacy and relationships.
• Survival, and understanding the roots of fear and survival.
• Understanding the impermanent nature of all things.
• Developing true self confidence through an knowing ones true self beyond the illusion of their identity.
• Realising outer confidence can be practiced by reading a book like the “Charisma myth”
• Oppening ones heart and using the power of the love by reading the "The way of the Superior man" "the Alibaster girl" or "the path of the heart" by RamDass
• Removing Guilt and Shame.
• Removing the need for validation and approval.
• Thinking abouts ones death and mortality.
• Understanding human psychology through a model such as spiral dynamics and thereby changing how one relates to people.
• Realising we are all chimps and bonobos by reading the book "our Inner ape".
• Emotional management by reading "the meditations" and "Letters from a stoic". Realising what you can and can not control.
• Meditation and yoga
• Exercise and weight training
• Proper sleep
• Proper nutrition
• Taking care of the way you dress, your style, feeling good by looking good.
• Keeping your house in perfect order and being clean and hygeinic, living in a clean and clear mindspace. Reading "12 rules for life" by Jordan Peterson.
• Removing addictions such as porn and junk food.
• Having a passionate life, a lifes purpose, a mission greater than yourself, fuel driving you to transform.

Anyone have experience will doing work in these areas as they relate to dating and communicating with people?

Anyone have any other ideas that helped them get the right attitude and persepectives and be an overall attractive guy that's able to consistently approach and date high quality women?

 

Edit: I understand going out is essential and a lot of inner sticking points will be resolved by that the ability to relate and communicate with women will only really happen through experience, but im curious to know specifically about the inner game practices one can do to best prepare themselves and continue to develop psychologically over the long run as it relates to learning to be good with women. Of course, to be succussfull, one has to go and meet a lot of women, but there's more to it than that, especially if someone is in the dating scene for multiple years and wants to evolve as an individual and with women.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Spence94

[DIDego]

@Spence94 I will turn this a little up side down for you 

Are your motivation dating, is that the reason to do your personal development?

[Spence94]

@DIDego No, but i think that if one has a natural and normal desire to date women and improve in this erea of their life then it can be a beautiful source of motivation that can be used as a leverage into transfromation, and that the real sollution for guys to improve with women is becoming a overall self-actualized man.A lot of probelems guys have with women would be solved by persoanal developement. Ultimatley one has to do it for themeselves and their own life and their own fulfillment and meaning, but the sexual drive within human beings is a strong one and much of human behaviour is driven by reproduction. One should move away from just women and dating as sole sources of motivation but if it gets them into persoanal developement and transformation then i think that is a good thing.

The purpose of this artical was just to discuss the genuine things that make a man attractive and internally grounded and  that helps him have the ability to meet women successfully, and the reality is, being a psychologically developed, self actualized man, is the ultimate sollution to the dating market and all the problems that men face in their dating lives.

I see people posting on this forum that are getting hung up on very specific issues in dating. Personal development and self actualization would help them solve and make a lot of those issues non existent. Dating seems to be a very big entry point for guys into personal growth and the high level solution is ultimately moving towards genuine personal growth.

Nonetheless specifics as to how it relates to meeting and dating women is welcome, i personally also just find dating, social and sexual dyamics pretty fascinating.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Spence94

[DIDego]

@Spence94 Nice answers 

How do you feel when you hear the word: Balance?

You maybe already are attractive and beautiful as you are now, in the eyes of others. ❤️

Can it be possible that, if you do personal development, find out more who you are and want to be, accept that your flaws/quality's are perfectly fine and will probably change with self-confidence, develop deeper relationships and dating will be something that comes natural and easy.

[JonasVE12]

18 hours ago, Spence94 said:

Oppening ones heart and using the power of the love by reading the "the Alibaster girl"

Amazing book.