Girlfriend thinks I've gone crazy

[tommysalerno]

I usually don't talk about spiritual topics with people who aren't interested in awakening themselves, but I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend and now she thinks I am crazy. She definitely doesn't want to go down the awakening path. 

Have anyone ever experienced this with your girlfriend boyfriend husband or wife? 

I definitely just scared the shit out of her and probably made her question her entire reality... woops

[Flowerfaeiry]

I've only dated people who weren't into spirituality like I am. In fact, quite the opposite. They were very much realists. 

Depending on how good your rant was and you didn't just parrot things Leo says (that you actually have an understanding of reality being an illusion) you may be alright and she's just shocked at the possibility. 

If it's true that she doesn't want to awaken and you do, that sounds like a big disparity in your compatibility. 

[Godhead]

@tommysalerno If you want to share ideas like these, you need to be clever about it. 

You drop little hints, see how they react, and depending on how they react, you share more. Gradually. 

You also want to make appeals to authority. Prefearbly to well established sources, like Buddhism or philosophical schools. 

You don't say "EVERYTHING IS AN ILLUSION, NOTHING IS REAL".

You say "In Buddhism there is this idea of maya..." 

 

[kinesin]

@Godhead  No, don't do this, you make it sound like some kind of indoctrination or sneaky conversion.

If you want to share your insights, just share them.  If the other person doesn't respond well, they're either seeing something you're not (for example a manic, crazed expression on your face or emotions which contradict the things you're saying, such as frustration at them not understanding), or they have their own biases against this kind of thinking.

It's possible that you are going a little crazy, OP.  Many parts of the spiritual path are practically indistinguishable from mental illness, especially when insight has been gained but has yet to be grounded.  If your girlfriend isn't familiar with the spiritual path, it's no surprise that she'd be scared by some of the things you're saying.  Remember, ultimately your spiritual journey is a personal one, and other people won't always be able to relate to it at all, as they're on their own journeys.

[Mason Riggle]

My wife thinks I'm crazy, and vice versa, and we're both good with it. 

[Godhead]

2 minutes ago, kinesin said:

you make it sound like some kind of indoctrination or sneaky conversion.

Not at all, if you want to have sex with a girl, you don't straight up say, "I want to have sex with you". 

You drop hints that you are attracted to her and see if she responds positively.  

It's not about indoctrination, it's about gently introducing someone to an idea. Some spiritual ideas are so radical that no normie would think you are sane after you've shared them. There is a reason why in 1st grade they don't show you highly complex math equations.

You'd just be scared and wouldn't want to touch math ever again. 

[Tim R]

Keep it to a minimum. Don't rant. It's not cool. When we talk about consciousness, reality or whatever, it sounds completely normal and at times even boring. But to "normal" people it doesn't. Their ears are not at all used to hearing such things and of course it will make them think that you're either just woo woo at best or totally insane and deluded at worst. Even with people who are close to you, keep it cool. 

The thing with actually crazy people is that they don't know how to or sometimes even can't live in two worlds at once. They only live in their world and don'T know how to play the game of society and everyday human life. 

[Consept]

Ive had first hand experience with this with trying to explain this to four different partners. What i can say is that the best way to do it is to gauge their openness and what about spirituality might interest them. So for example if theyre religious you can bring up stuff that Jesus said or if theyre more scientific minded you can bring up some interesting stuff about neuro science and how it says there is no 'self'. 

The main thing is to realise what your intentions are behind it, dont try and convince them as a way to get them on your 'side', just look at it as a sharing of ideas and ask them questions to just challenge them a little. The worst ive got it is outright fear lol, theres also just not much interest and then theres those that are quite open and want to know more, however none have really gone too deep into it with other teachers and see me is the pinnacle of non-dual teachings (which shows that they didnt go deep at all ). But they can make for interesting conversations, it can also help you crystallise your ideas when you have to explain it to someone else. 

More than likely your gf sees at as religion type thing where you just believe something just because, which is probably why shes scared. Imagine if she said 'did you know Jesus died for your sins', youd be a little freaked out and the more she explained it to you the more youd be shut off to it. 

[StarStruck]

That is why zen masters don't rant. They give clues and riddles for the students. In my way that is the best option in my opinion: tickle her curiosity.

 

[Dwarniel]

4 hours ago, tommysalerno said:

I usually don't talk about spiritual topics with people who aren't interested in awakening themselves, but I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend and now she thinks I am crazy. She definitely doesn't want to go down the awakening path. 

Have anyone ever experienced this with your girlfriend boyfriend husband or wife? 

I definitely just scared the shit out of her and probably made her question her entire reality... woops

Yeah, I have the same situation with mine. He usually gets annoyed because I have this habit of talking about absolute nothingness and death before we go to sleep. He told me I give him nightmares so I had to stop 

[Mason Riggle]

Don't underestimate their perspective. Crazy is a relative word. If they told you how they really see things, you might think they were crazy, and so like the advice given on this thread, they reign it in, closer to the status quo.. they suspect you might 'do something wacky', if they push too hard to get you to see it their way...

And so progress is slow, but when we're open to each other's ideas, we find common ground and build our mutual understanding. 

 

[ajai]

You've done the ryt thing, really!

Dont worey.

wwooppss

???

 

[kag101]

10 hours ago, Flowerfaeiry said:

you didn't just parrot things Leo says

Lol

9 hours ago, kinesin said:

If the other person doesn't respond well, they're either seeing something you're not (for example a manic, crazed expression on your face or emotions which contradict the things you're saying, such as frustration at them not understanding)

Yes

9 hours ago, kinesin said:

It's possible that you are going a little crazy, OP.

Yes

Very thoughtful reply, @kinesin

 

12 hours ago, tommysalerno said:

I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend

Why did you have this need for ranting about reality to her?

 

I've done that in the past many times, and I was one of the most unpleasant persons to be around with -- worse than an overly religious person.

I thought I was on a higher level spiritually, but in reality my life was a huge mess, and I was desperately trying to use spirituality as a shortcut for magically changing how I felt. 

 

Here's a quote I really like:

"My family hates me when I'm a Buddhist, but they love me when I'm a Buddha."

[Eternity]

It's hard not to share the latest spiritual realization with others.  My husband is not into spirituality (he does pray now and then) and I have been since as far back as I can remember.  In our first years I tried to explain some to him and he acted like he might be interested.  But we've been married a long time and he gets quickly bored if I start on it .  So I finally asked "does talking about this make you uncomfortable?" and he said it sounded crazy to him.  At that moment I gave up on sharing and came to the conclusion his path is on a completely  different timeline.  He has a mental disorder also that was diagnosed about 10 years into our marriage and I have concluded that he is deeply afraid of having his mania come back by listening to airy fairy stuff as he puts it.  So it is probably wiser not to push.  And that is what I advise those with gfs or bfs or partners who are not into spirituality.  Don't push it.   Just let them learn their own lessons in life.  Be supportive during their bad times when that happens the way it does to most of us, and don't try to convince them your way is better.  Also there are some interesting  videos about our own built in DMT system if you are using psychedelics and how it unlocks spiritual connections.  So let them observe you over time and see how these experiences make you a better person.  My husband tells me I have changed for the better since we married and I just say it started with my readings of spiritual books.  I can see his eyes start to glaze over and I stop talking right away.  After all, I'm not here to make his life harder.  And remember even if you are sure that you understand the real and absolute, spiritual truth, you should never undertake to enter another realm by starving yourself or hurting yourself or leaping off something to end this particular dream.  You will find only the same lessons will have to be learned in the same manner possibly harder lessons.  All that may do is change the scenery and maybe make your development harder.  To me it would be disrespectful of yourself as God and your spiritual path which is here now, always in the present.  This dream is part of the growth process and integration that your level of understanding requires and it makes no sense to take away the opportunities you have to develop in the present where you always are. When your psychy is fully developed, you will naturally be transformed into the full expression of the Godhead without letting ego steer the ship.

Edited May 26, 2021 by Eternity

[Zeroguy]

13 hours ago, Mason Riggle said:

My wife thinks I'm crazy, and vice versa, and we're both good with it. 

That's average and normal healthy marriage. Congrats. 

[LastThursday]

17 hours ago, tommysalerno said:

I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend and now she thinks I am crazy.

Doesn't sound crazy at all to me. Self delusion is always possible though, never assume you're right.

[Bodhitree]

Yeah, where you went wrong was not having a gradual introduction to the topic, and then ranting is also not cool. It’s best to be gentle with the uneducated. I usually start sending quotes in texts, things that are relatively inoffensive, a little Buddha or some Nisargadatta, and see how they respond. 

[Leo Gura]

21 hours ago, tommysalerno said:

I just ranted about how everything is an illusion to my girlfriend and now she thinks I am crazy.

You mean your illusory girlfriend?

 

[Carl-Richard]

You gotta be strategic when interacting with normies. If they show signs of walking the path, give them some bread crumbs, but don't overstep it. Feed slowly. Besides, nobody likes a preacher.

[Anahata]

@tommysalerno Maybe you should consider introducing her to meditation & breathwork first. Be strategic and consider a lighter approach at first. Then, see if she opens up for more. Good timing is king