I'm crave for attention

[charlie cho]

Nothing more to be said. I crave for attention. It has become a crutch, an attachment. Anyone cured this? I've wrote about this many times saying I have loneliness. Anyways anyone cured this by themselves? Can you help me

Edited May 25, 2021 by charlie cho

[Consilience]

Learn to be able to sit with yourself alone, without stimulation (or attention) and be happy. Meditation. Hours upon hours upon hours of meditation. Slowly you will learn that the deepest levels of fulfillment are found within, not from the attention of others.

If you have a mental health condition, meditation alone won't be enough. So if you have a mental health condition, seek therapy and/or another type of mental health professional.

Edited May 25, 2021 by Consilience

[WelcometoReality]

1 hour ago, charlie cho said:

Nothing more to be said. I crave for attention. It has become a crutch, an attachment. Anyone cured this? I've wrote about this many times saying I have loneliness. Anyways anyone cured this by themselves? Can you help me

So craving attention because your resisting loneliness? What story is coming up and what feelings?

[charlie cho]

@WelcometoReality I think there is something that I'm avoiding. Someone that I avoid. It's not my inner demons. Someone that I should go and express myself to. But I avoid and rather seek attention from others. I'm just scared of someone whom I'd like to meet and hopefully make a connection, so I avoid her. Then I go to others and expect them to love my fearful cowardice self. Maybe that's why people then run away.... because they realize I'm a coward and a bitch. Maybe it's not loneliness but because my cowardice acts have bled through my body and through my actions, so people would like to run away from me: who blames them? I keep avoiding the one I should actually be attentive to, but I seek attention from them. I'm abusing myself, and they see it. I have low self-esteem and they could feel it. So I get no bargain from the two deals. Not from the person I'd like to connect with, not from other people whom I ask for attention. 

I say this is all true with conviction because this mechanical process, this programming of mine has been going on long enough, and I am now able to identify this has been a karma that has been recurring my whole life. Fear has been a great perpetrator in my relationships throughout. I don't know why though, why I have so much fear against people. Why?

At least... I have gotten deep in my inner-self to at least see that I've been fearful. This must stop. Really. I cannot let it keep repeating and ruining me.  Being histrionic isn't the problem, I think. I think it's fear that is the problem. Fear from following what I desire to do. I may have been blocking the energy that is love flowing in me..... I feel so sad. I feel so depressed and I want to cry. Nobody loves me. Not the person I like. My friends don't love me. I'm not mentally ill. I'm just really sad realizing this has been the root cause to my recent disorderly behavior, supposedly. I just feel so much regret that I have been blocking this energy in me repeatedly and this has demonstrated itself in unhealthy ways such as histrionic disorders in my mind. 

I just hate empathizing with such energy blockages! I'd like to change. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by charlie cho

[WelcometoReality]

7 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@WelcometoReality I think there is something that I'm avoiding. Someone that I avoid. It's not my inner demons. Someone that I should go and express myself to. But I avoid and rather seek attention from others. I'm just scared of someone whom I'd like to meet and hopefully make a connection, so I avoid her. Then I go to others and expect them to love my fearful cowardice self. Maybe that's why people then run away.... because they realize I'm a coward and a bitch. Maybe it's not loneliness but my cowardice acts bleeds through my actions, so people would like to run away from me. Who blames them? I keep avoiding the one I should actually be attentive to, but I rather seek attention from others than the one I should.

A nice honest introspection. Go deeper and inspect that fear.

Why are you avoiding that person? What are you afraid of?

[Tanz]

First of all you have to see if its legal where you live to have a relationship with a 16 year old.  You are still young and probably really horny so if it is not legal you have to wait for 2 years. Just be friends and get to know her.  It sounds like its going to be a disaster if you confess your love to her even if its reciprocated.  The young teenage mind is not developed so its irresponsible to try to manipulate her in anyway even if she enjoys it.  and it sounds like you still need to work on yourself and start living from the inside out.  

[charlie cho]

@Tanz it's legal. it's 13 years old in my country, Korea. I'm not gonna ask for permission from you. She's 17 years old, so don't go around telling other people what he or she cannot do. So get silent so I can focus on stopping my dumbasseries without having people make decisions for me

Edited May 26, 2021 by charlie cho

[WelcometoReality]

32 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

I say this is all true with conviction because this mechanical process, this programming of mine has been going on long enough, and I am now able to identify this has been a karma that has been recurring my whole life. Fear has been a great perpetrator in my relationships throughout. I don't know why though, why I have so much fear against people. Why?

Inquire into that question and it will be revealed to you.

34 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

At least... I have gotten deep in my inner-self to at least see that I've been fearful. This must stop. Really. I cannot let it keep repeating and ruining me.  Being histrionic isn't the problem, I think. I think it's fear that is the problem. Fear from following what I desire to do. I may have been blocking the energy that is love flowing in me..... I feel so sad. I feel so depressed and I want to cry. Nobody loves me. Not the person I like. My friends don't love me. I'm not mentally ill. I'm just really sad realizing this has been the root cause to my recent disorderly behavior, supposedly. I just feel so much regret that I have been blocking this energy in me repeatedly and this has demonstrated itself in unhealthy ways such as histrionic disorders in my mind. 

You werent aware of it so how can you blame yourself for it?

Also you say you have low self esteem. Now look at the thoughts you've written about yourself. How do they make you feel? How are they serving you? Are they really true?

[Tanz]

3 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@Tanz it's legal. it's 13 years old in my country, Korea. I'm not gonna ask for permission from you dumbass. She's 17 years old, so don't go around telling other people what he or she cannot do

You can certainly do whatever you want, I am just offering my opinion because you asked in a public forum.  If you are 22 years old and asking for someone to fulfill you that also has hardly any life experience, I see it as irresponsible.  I have both a son and a daughter and I would wish for them to be loved by someone that already deeply loves themselves before meeting them. There is so much pressure from both sides when you are with someone and you ask them to fulfill you.  

If you really love this girl, you have to be patient and work on yourself before you get into something.  That way you have something to offer her.  

 

[charlie cho]

@WelcometoReality they are not serving me at all, the way I wrote it. It only makes me sound strange. I think the way I write it, it only propagated my fear. 

[charlie cho]

i am afraid of other's opinions of me having this 16 - 17 year old girl as my girlfriend.

 I shouldn't really be, but in fact I am. It's ended. I don't care about it anymore. I stopped this fear of other opinions right now for some reason I don't know

I'm gonna stop with having other's perceptions dictate my actions. I shouldn't even be asking these questions if I didn't care about other's opinions. And it's disgusting to put legalities in place of love and to put society above love. I will stop. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by charlie cho

[WelcometoReality]

8 minutes ago, charlie cho said:

@WelcometoReality they are not serving me at all, the way I wrote it. It only makes me sound strange. I think the way I write it, it only propagated my fear. 

That's good that you can see how theybare not serving you. Can you also see that they are not true?

[charlie cho]

maybe when I said nobody loves me. I hope I get to become mature now. I've tapped into the immature side of myself just now just to un-filter and demonstrate my inner demons. 

hahhhh..... I have no choice but to leave it to the universe in the end. I will work hard and put much effort in developing and maturing, but in the end I'll have to go with the flow if I truly want to grow.

Edited May 26, 2021 by charlie cho

[charlie cho]

@WelcometoReality thank you for being such a good listener. Ps. I hate being honest, but i guessed fuck it. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by charlie cho

[WelcometoReality]

18 hours ago, charlie cho said:

@WelcometoReality thank you for being such a good listener. Ps. I hate being honest, but i guessed fuck it. 

You're welcome and thank you for your honesty. That is a very courageous thing to do and essential for growth.

[VeganAwake]

There is nothing wrong with this behavior.

When that's realized the problem ends.

There may even be less craving attention because you have allowed yourself to crave as much as you can handle.

❤

 

 

[charlie cho]

 

 

[charlie cho]

@Judi of course. the way I portrayed myself is a bit exaggerated honestly. But honestly, I do have that craving for attention inside, and .... what am i going to do with that energy? That is the question. It is not particularly a loving energy. This craving for attention is quite hateful of people and myself because it wants prestige, it wants undivided attention. ... u know what I mean.

[Zeroguy]

On 25.5.2021. at 4:18 PM, charlie cho said:

Nothing more to be said. I crave for attention. It has become a crutch, an attachment. Anyone cured this? I've wrote about this many times saying I have loneliness. Anyways anyone cured this by themselves? Can you help me

Why is that a problem. You haven't saw me surrounded by women, didn't you. 

You will be fine. 

?

[charlie cho]

@VeganAwake maybe.... hope that is the case. By being with my loneliness and not running away from it for the very first time, I've learnt much about myself..... and learning more...