A Small Insight I Realized Today

[Norbert Somogyi]

Regards, fellow self-actualizers!

Even though I've been following this forum for a while, this will be my first post.

The story is that I've been having an inconsistent meditation habit for about a year, by now I reached 40 minutes. Today was no different. I woke up in the morning, and as the time passed I began to feel some sort of loneliness and deppression. I was spending the first four hours of this day with looking for things to motivate myself, especially movies as I lack a reading habit. Fortunately we had planned a program with my dad so I couldn't wait for it. Thinking back it was because I wanted to escape the feeling. As I was preparing, a thought came up within my mind. This is just part of the purification process, these days are when I grow the most. My attachment to these feelings cause this suffering, nothing else. As soon as I realized that, my mood turned upside-down, I suddenly felt a burst of excitement and happiness. I was incredibly happy realizing how I cause my own suffering, and it's hilarious how much I do it. 

It was only a glimpse, as I fell back a few hours later.

[Leo Gura]

Good, keep up that mindfulness.