Help identifying shadow element.

[integral]

Looking for insight into why i reacted in a specific way in this scenario and what it is a reflection of (shadow).

Someone asked me "what company do you work for?" i responded, "why ask someone what company they work for?", my thought process was  that they wouldn't know the company anyways, its a redundant question, i also dont care about the details of my characters story. A argument continued from here where they pushed to get me to just answer the question and couldn't understand why i was being "difficult" about it. In the end i never gave them an answer because I just don't care and id like to talk about the deeper meaning behind the question. They took offense that i "attacked" them, that's how they experienced it. Of course this was a communication error on my part but what im asking is why did i refuse to just answer the question? What kind of survival agenda is this? Why did i stand my ground and refuse to have small talk? 

 

Edited May 24, 2021 by integral

[realized]

this is very intresting i have been in the same situatuon i think it has to do with your responsabillity. You didnt feel like it was your  responsabillity to answer a question that wouldt serve them in any way i think that means you are very aware of what you dicide to focus on instead of giving unessesary info that wouldn serve. you feel like thats not the utimate way to give value from your perspective and that you fellt like their perspective wasent stong enough to be able to give them value and the reasons to ask what someone is working with is very nosy and is a way to be praised from a materialist paradime but you are above that and you know it has little meaning in the big perspective atleast thats how i would feel in that situation as well hope your happy with your answer.

[integral]

@realized That seems accurate. but is this all shadow? What did i not integrate? 

Edited May 25, 2021 by integral

[lmfao]

8 hours ago, integral said:

Looking for insight into why i reacted in a specific way in this scenario and what it is a reflection of (shadow). 

Someone asked me "what company do you work for?" i responded, "why ask someone what company they work for?", my thought process was  that they wouldn't know the company anyways, its a redundant question, i also dont care about the details of my characters story. A argument continued from here where they pushed to get me to just answer the question and couldn't understand why i was being "difficult" about it. In the end i never gave them an answer because I just don't care and id like to talk about the deeper meaning behind the question. They took offense that i "attacked" them, that's how they experienced it. Of course this was a communication error on my part but what im asking is why did i refuse to just answer the question? What kind of survival agenda is this? Why did i stand my ground and refuse to have small talk? 

Sounds to me like you were bored of what the conversation was going to become and wanted to play a different game. That has potential to be positive and interesting.

Im guessing you were grumpy and moody at some point since this has become a topic for reflecting on your shadow. 

Perhaps it was a situation where you were just snappy and ready to bite beforehand, and the convo just triggered it as your outlet 

Only you can know what happened there. I can only take on faith how truthfully you recounted your motivation and events but I see no reason to doubt it.

Sounds like dumb nigga shit all in all. I personally wouldn't read too deeply into it. If I or anyone calls anyone else "snappy" or whatever label, these are passing feelings and random moods rather than defining aspects about us. 

Very funny story though 

Edited May 25, 2021 by lmfao

[integral]

54 minutes ago, lmfao said:

Sounds to me like you were bored of what the conversation was going to become and wanted to play a different game. 

Yes the motivation. A "i don't care" boredom attack.  At the same time, its not useful information to them. Its hard giving people information that will be deleted from there memory, that will have no impact, that carries no journey. I want to plant a seed. That's motivating, ill get all enthusiastic about it. 

But again, this path trampled on someone's emotions. Im trying to find a deeper shadow here that I'm missing. Is boredom induced conflict a shadow? lmao

Ive yelled "i don't care" while laughing, in front of people multiple times now. Got to be something here im doing wrong? lol

What model is your car? What foods do you like to eat? When is your birth day?: I don't know, I don't remember and i don't care. 

Edited May 25, 2021 by integral

[peqkno]

7 hours ago, integral said:

But again, this path trampled on someone's emotions. Im trying to find a deeper shadow here that I'm missing. Is boredom induced conflict a shadow? lmao

Ive yelled "i don't care" while laughing, in front of people multiple times now. Got to be something here im doing wrong? lol

What model is your car? What foods do you like to eat? When is your birth day?: I don't know, I don't remember and i don't care. 

Could see it through EDT stages. Some stages define themselves by material possessions or group adherence and so on (afaik). Thus it may be they were trying to get to know "you" through their lens, ... and you kinda transcended (and included? forgot?) cause you don't define yourself with or put much importance on these "facts".
 

[Shin]

21 hours ago, integral said:

@realized That seems accurate. but is this all shadow? What did i not integrate? 

I'm sorry, but that part of the forum is not opened as of yet,

Come back in a short while !

[Anahata]

On 5/24/2021 at 0:03 PM, integral said:

Looking for insight into why i reacted in a specific way in this scenario and what it is a reflection of (shadow).

Someone asked me "what company do you work for?" i responded, "why ask someone what company they work for?", my thought process was  that they wouldn't know the company anyways, its a redundant question, i also dont care about the details of my characters story. A argument continued from here where they pushed to get me to just answer the question and couldn't understand why i was being "difficult" about it. In the end i never gave them an answer because I just don't care and id like to talk about the deeper meaning behind the question. They took offense that i "attacked" them, that's how they experienced it. Of course this was a communication error on my part but what im asking is why did i refuse to just answer the question? What kind of survival agenda is this? Why did i stand my ground and refuse to have small talk? 

 

Maybe you don't like working there or you feel as if they would have judged you in some way if you told them. Your ego-mind felt threatened by that question for some reason so you became defensive and all that jazz. Do some shadow work