Ex is willing to give up sex to get back together

[Windappreciator]

@Harlen Kelly well what made it here obvious to you that it's codependency? What is codependency to you?

Wanting to be closer with someone without fucking them is codependency to you I suppose? Because relationships only have value in sex?

Edited May 27, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Harlen Kelly]

@Windappreciator I think this might be news for you but one of the main elements of sexual relationships is sex. You really believe being a doormat is somehow advanced or are you just playing thought experiments? 

[Windappreciator]

@Harlen Kelly

I address each of your problems at a time, but first we have to continue with what codependency means to you. You still have not answered that.

Edited May 27, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Harlen Kelly]

@Windappreciator Definitions of codependency vary, but typically include high self-sacrifice, a focus on others' needs over your own needs, suppression of one's own emotions, and attempts to control or fix other people's problems. 

[Windappreciator]

@Harlen Kelly And what hinted you towards the meaning of codependency mentioned above?

Edited May 27, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Harlen Kelly]

@Windappreciator Put simply, the guy is putting his needs away to allow for a sexless relationship, which you agree with. 

[Windappreciator]

@Harlen Kelly He could sacrifice his need to be with her by letting her go as well, for her sake. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Javfly33]

Holy shit the first replies on this topic.

 

[MatteO22]

On 23/05/2021 at 11:22 PM, somegirl said:

So me and my ex met up today because he told me I forgot an item in his house so he wanted to give it to me.

We broke up 2 months ago so this is the first time I saw him. We talked a bit, and I told him (since we were talking about our relationship) that I wouldn't be willing to have sex with him because I have developed aversion towards it so I feel more at peace when I don't do it.

He told me that he would be okay with not having sex because he misses so much and he wants me more than sex itself.

Is he telling the truth? 

He is obviously a heterosexual guy with needs so I was suspicious about this. 

 

I certainly wouldn’t degrade him by calling him weak or pathetic but I would make sure that you focus on what you need and want not necessarily what he seems to want out of a relationship with you

It sounds like he has given his power away to you. Don’t hold onto it, give it back and choose yourself by being clear and direct about what it truly is that you want and need.