Serious Addiction Problems - How To Get Rid Of Drugs

[Valium]

Hello dear fellows,

I have a serious addiction problem with alcohol, benzodiazepins and other stuff and I just can't find a way out!  I would like to describe my "career" briefly so you folks get an idea where this might be coming from. Sorry for my poor english since it is not my native language.

I was always a rather shy person who could not stand interpersonal conflicts/debates very much and in my teenager years I started drinking occasionally with some friends, just to forget about school and stuff and to have a good time. It was a fun thing to do back than and of course it was recreational. We also smoked weed sometimes and also tried other drugs like speed, cocaine, xtc, but this only on rare occasions. When I started my studies in social science I felt myself being affected by "social phobia" so much that I visited a psychiatrist, who prescribed antidepressants (Zoloft) and then after some months I took part in cognitive behavioural therapy. this went very well for me, I got much more self-assured, established new goals and found work, finally I even studied social work and earned my bachelors degree. but despite I always tried to get to meet people and find new friends I have always had feelings of insecurity / lack of confidence and even in my "good times" I sometimes needed alcohol to calm myself down, to get rid of nervousness and fear. Often I have been lonely in my studie times too. when I finally got a job after being finished with my studies, I was very soon stressed out by the sheer amout of work, so I used alcohol and other drugs (mostly benzos) as a tool to make myself cope with the problems (my main problem was my inability to cope with the high level of stress and the amount of tasks I had to do). after having worked for 2 years with disabled people I was drinking pretty heavily (daily) and needed to take a cure. My doctor prescribed to me Baclofen, what is some sort of anti-alcohol medication (at least in France it is approved for the treating of alcoholism). With this medication I maintained sober for long periods of time (many months), but unfortunately I relapsed and then also tried out Opium. last year during summertime I took opiates again and drank pretty much on a regular basis, then I quit, now I am drinking again.

 

It is not so much the drinking that affects me in a negative way, but my main problem is: I don't really know what to do with my life. I am living on my own, I have no girlfriend, only very few friends and I even don't care a lot about former hobbies or interests anymore. But while my life situation is rather boring and dull, I use drinking as some substitute for not having a rich experience of life.

 

I don't know if you find this insightfull but if anyone has some thougth to offer, I'd be glad to hear from you. If you have any questions, just post them.

looking forward to hear from you

edit: I'd like to add that besides my mental problems I am currently unemployed for over 1 year by now. this also makes me sad, since I apply for jobs on a regular basis but only get rejections. It seems that no one wants to hire me because (I assume) I appeal akward/weird to them. In contrast to this most of my friends and family tell me that I am a good guy, quite intelligent, well spoken and capable. I just can't live with this contradiction, it fucks my mind up.

Edited February 10, 2016 by Valium

[Abeo Maria]

I would highly recommend watching Youtube videos or reading books about detachment from emotions. I would also watch @Leo Gura's many videos about meditation and the mind. He describes it as monkey chatter in the most severe way. All our past experiences are non existent, the only way they stay alive is by our constant, repetitive thoughts on the subject.
A lot of us hear a negative thought in our minds and connect with, and then react to it. So for example if I'm feeling depressed and/or hopeless and I keep thinking sad thoughts or self destructive thoughts, your mind/body are going to try to react to that and cope with the uncomfortable feelings that are being suppressed. Your thoughts will tell you to have a drink to numb the pain, because the pain is uncomfortable and we try to avoid it at all costs. Self-Harm becomes our avenue of coping and it only destroys us in the end. 
I would definitely suggesting trying meditation. Just sitting with your thoughts and not reacting to them. Sit down in a room with them, and let them pass like rolling clouds. Feel the emotions, no matter how uncomfortable.
I thought about my dad recently because he's had two heart attacks and now diabetes. My thoughts were going crazy and negative and I wanted so desperately to have a shot of tequila or something to numb the pain of my thoughts, but instead I went into a room and embraced the thoughts, just let them dance around my head and sat as still as I could. Eventually the thoughts went away.
 

[Ayla]

@Valium ,

Your story is very touching. Thank you for sharing it with us. 

What comes to mind and energetically, is that you are in a state of urgency. Let me explain: 

From a state of urge to know the Truth that your inner being has placed in you, your choices and circumstances are now guiding you into the urgency to discover it. The moment you will reach emergency, the Truth will dawn on you brightly. 

It is good that you acknowledge where you are. Search for medical help for heavy addiction and plunge into spiritual work 100% for now. If you are not homeless and starving, leave the job hunting for later. Take advice from this forum and free youtube videos that resonate with you and WORK them (as opposed to just watch/read them and move on to the next). 

Leo's videos might be too much right now. Several suggestions: Teal Swan (helped me a lot when I was in your situation), Noah Elkrief, Moojiji, etc. 

Good Luck  

[Valium]

thank you for your replies. 

I tried meditation on a daily basis for some weeks but unfortunately relapsed into bad habits. I think it would be easier for me to cope with my addiction habits if I had a group of people who support me in the struggle. as my next goal I am willing to find a group where I can meet up regularly with people who are affected in a similar way, to learn how they cope with the problem.

[xXxXx]

@Valium

I can relate to your problems dude, i got my self out of this vicious circle by understanding a few things.

First your body is a machine, you feed it alcohol and your body will react. As a pharmacologist i can describe a few things that alcohol does to your body: in your Brain there is a receptor called GABAa, it regulates for example emotions, relaxation and anxiety, alcohol activates this receptor, therefore you feel relaxed short term, but excessive use/long term use will desensitize this receptor, you will feel anxious and dull if you quit automatically, and the circle starts again, you start drinking because you feel anxious and dull. Your problems are a function of your substance abuse and NOT caused by your personality.

Quit drinking and using benzodiazepines (benzos activate GABAa too.. and desensitize it too; short term relaxation and anxiety free but long term the opposite!).

This post is worth pure gold:

http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/54028-treating-anxiety-safely-effectively/

I recommend to you, stop using any substance described in this thread as promoting anxiety (direct or indirect). Get Bacopa monnieri extract (it will get your GABAa levels in order) and rhodiola rosea. These are no wonder-drugs, but they will definitely help you mid-term/long-term, without any side effects.

If you can stay off the substance abuse, you can get Schizandra extract, check if you tolerate it well, it will help your liver to recover.

edit:

And for the rest: try to be independent, independent from "getting a girlfriend", "having friends" and so on, this will not make you happy unless you are happy all by your own, nothing can give you long-term happiness outside yourself, meditate (!) and banish the negative thoughts. You can do it!

 

Edited February 11, 2016 by Locooig

[Hamish78]

Hi there mate,

i too was "diagnosed" with social phobia. It's very debilitating and you feel you're living a half life. Maybe not even that. I was addicted to heroin for 6 years. Been clean 4. Mainly because I am on suboxone. I am starting to taper down now as I feel ready. 

Addiction is an awful affliction, unfortunately brought on because of self medicating. The pain inside is unbearable. It's also perceived as a weakness to have mental disorders. People treat you differently to say, if you had a physical disease of some sort. 

What I realized is though, is that it's more self perception. With social anxiety/phobia, you believe everyone notices. In some cases they may notice. I.e. If you start to panic.

i have come on leaps and bounds practicing cbt and NLP and diving deep into meditation and self actualizating. My psychiatrist told me there is no cure and it's all about learning to live with it. I call out bullshit to that. You can learn how to live without it. Face your fears. Don't be embarrassed. Talk to people face to face about it. Admit your feelings. 

You can get off drugs and you can get over your social problems. It takes willingness and time but you can do it. Sometimes it's like climbing a mountain and you take two steps forward then fall back one. Well, your still conquering the mountain, just a bit slower because if you don't let go and gain another two steps you will eventually reach your goal. I have seen the ugly, nasty and dark side to life mate and today as I sit in the sun my heart goes out to you and people like you. We get told "take this, take that". No, that's not the way. Mindfullness and courage will get you better. I know it's not easy. In fact it is brutally hard. I just want you to know there is a positive ending to this. 

Keep strong. Struggle the struggle. 

I am fighting different demons now. Though nonetheless I will beat them as I have before. Life is hard but does not have to remain that way. You will always have good days and not so good. Try increase the good ones.

peace.

[Dhana Choko]

I would definitely recommend going into your local Drug users Anonymous. They can really help you along. Combine that with some meditation, contemplation, some books and videos and many other great tips that you have already gotten here, then you are definitely on an amazing path to recovery.  

[David1]

Have you read about ayahuasca? İ've heard many accounts of people with the nastiest addictions there are. Who tried to get rid of them for years, without succes. But who were cured after a 10 day ayahuasca retreat in the amazon. There is alot of information about this on the internet.

All the best!! 

[Valium]

I have heard about Ahayuasca before, hence I am not planning in taking part in a ceremony for the next 4,5, maybe 7 years. On the one hand it would be very expensive for me to take a flight to the rainforest where ayahuasca-ceremonies for westenrs are upheld, also the shamans take money too, so it really comes down to a money problem. Also I don't feel ready for such an in-depth experience yet. I have watched documentaries about Ahayuasca-ceremonies on youtube and was astonished but also afraid. I'm willig to invest into the struggle these ceremonies withhold, but first need to stabilize my life where I come from, in the western culture. I once considered trying DMT on my own (since this is called to be somehow similiar), but after several experiments with LSD and hawaiian baby woodrose I decided to better stay away from stuff like this. My psyche is just to voulnerable at the moment and these kinds of drugs can do serious harm. nevertheless, thanks your your replies!

Edited February 22, 2016 by Valium

[Henri]

@Valium What do you want?

[Valium]

I want to get mental health / get rid of my drug abuse and alcoholism habits, which include not only binge drinking and permanent abusive alcoholism, but also consmption of opiates, benzos, marijuana and speed/cocaine. I want to find back to a life without having to constantly crave for a drink or some sort of high to cope with difficult situations or times to comfortm myself in pure loneliness. I 've always been a shy guy so nevertheless I looked pretty ok I never had very much "luck" with the girls, I missed several opportunities in my life. sometimes I just pity myself and look back at the few nice times I had and cry over my now more or less pretty dull life which seems pathetic but may be related to a lack of self esteem/strong ego. I just want to live like everyone else, enjoy my life, maybe finde a girlfriend, get a proper job and forget about the bullshit I can't change.

thankfully yesterday I got helpful tipps on a rehab facility just nearby my place  (about 1/2 hours away), specialiced in treatment of psychiatric illness and alcohol/drug related issues. I will attend a first meeting this weekend, on Saturday at 12pm. I believe it is some kind of rehab where you have to spend (at least) some weeks if not even months, abstaining from drugs and taking therapeutical sessions, learning coping strategies to relieve stress and anger. even if I will have to stay there for more than 1 or 2 month, I would do so! I will do everything that I can to get health and brake with my addiction habbits. maybe internet use will be limited on the facility but I think I will be able to use 3G, so I'll let u know how it goes along. wish me luck!

 

just for the curious: I am sure alcohol and all other drugs (illegal, including some considered prescription drugs as opiates) are scrictly prohibited at this site, but cigarette smoking is (as usual in Germany) mostly okay in these kinds of facilities. also antidepressants, antipsychotics and mildly dozed benzodiazepines are commonly used/not forbidden.

Edited February 22, 2016 by Valium

[Henri]

@Valium That`s good!

Go for it mate!

[Dhana Choko]

On 22.2.2016 at 10:40 AM, Valium said:

I have heard about Ahayuasca before, hence I am not planning in taking part in a ceremony for the next 4,5, maybe 7 years. On the one hand it would be very expensive for me to take a flight to the rainforest where ayahuasca-ceremonies for westenrs are upheld, also the shamans take money too, so it really comes down to a money problem. Also I don't feel ready for such an in-depth experience yet. I have watched documentaries about Ahayuasca-ceremonies on youtube and was astonished but also afraid. I'm willig to invest into the struggle these ceremonies withhold, but first need to stabilize my life where I come from, in the western culture. I once considered trying DMT on my own (since this is called to be somehow similiar), but after several experiments with LSD and hawaiian baby woodrose I decided to better stay away from stuff like this. My psyche is just to voulnerable at the moment and these kinds of drugs can do serious harm. nevertheless, thanks your your replies!

When you detox from these drugs one by one, you have your own ayahuasca seremony right there.  You don't need to go into the middle of the jungle and spend a lot of money to get through this and have amazing insights and make your life better.

[renegade_bee]

@Abeo Maria Thank you, this is wonderful advice. I had never heard about emotional detachement before but I'm definitely going to expirement with it for my eating disorder. I was wondering if there are any books in particular that have helped?

[Rosie]

I do not think that it's time for meditation. I think its time to go to a group who can help ou stop the addiction FIRST. 
With this i would use this or similar hypnosis ( i seen it work on many people)

At the same time I would set achievable targets, as finding a job. ANY JOB, doesn't matter if you clean toilets or work on a proper work place, the mane thing is that you are distracted.
Put small sets of goals every day for yourself:
Have shower,
Shave
Wear clean clothes
Look for 2 jobs a day.

These are small things enough to be easy to achieve, and be able to grow. After this your confidence will grow with it slowly.
If sometimes you break your no alcohol period, don't beat yourself up. Most cases take very long time and not a straight route.

[Anna Skywords]

When it comes to challenges like addiction.....Knowing it's an addiction and owning it. That is really half the battle done. Now begins the " hit the grind" hard work. Because now you need to find a series of coping mechanisms to launch your journey to recovery. I agree with the idea of finding a support group curtailed around ending addiction. Change all friends and family. Meaning : if you have friends or family that use , don't be around them anymore. Get a Sponcer. This is someone you can call anytime of day or night should you be having an emotional struggle of some kind and feel like picking up and relaspsing. Begin a journal. Write in it everyday no matter how little or large your entry is. And no matter what the content of your mind is write it anyway. My prayers are with you. You can do this. You just gotta need to get clean more then u want to use !!!

[beckycox]

I found this TED Talks video recently and i feel it may be helpful for understanding addiction - https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language=en

it has changed the way I feel about addiction; as humans we want/need to bond, in an ideal world that would be through loving, meaningful relationships with friends, family, our partner etc. If that option isn't available to us freely then we will look for other things to 'bond' with, sometimes that thing is drugs and/or alcohol. If you view your behaviour as an addiction there is something quite despersonalising about your experience, like it is something inflicted on you, like emotional detachment mentioned earlier in this thread. If you think instead that you have bonded with something, something which is hurting you, it may change your perspective on where you choose to direct your love and attention, and hopefully give you back an element of control, or at least some understanding on why your journey has brought you here. I agree with all other posts that the best thing you can do is to work on your relationships with people, and focus on anything which may be preventing this, to try and find the support you need release this bond and redirect your energy to something more fulfilling and life affirming.

Good luck with your rehab. Much love.

 

Edited March 4, 2016 by beckycox