GF found out I watch porn

[somegirl]

@Twega In my humble opinion, I think guys use this rethoric to rationalize cheating as "part of guys' nature".

Because if this were to be true (that guy's brains simply operate that way), then guys and girls are made to just naturally not get along together, ever, or be compatable to form any type of relationship. Do you see how impossible it would be to form any kind of stable relationships and bonds, because there will always be aversions from girl's side, or from guy's side for that matter (if they don't satisfy their sexual needs with variety of girls).

 

[Twega]

12 minutes ago, somegirl said:

n my humble opinion, I think guys use this rethoric to rationalize cheating as "part of guys' nature".

@somegirl, I think you are wrong, some guys do use it to justify cheating, but that doesn't explain why the desire to cheat was there in the first place—two different things.

As a girl, you will never understand what it feels like to be a man and what arouses us isn't the same as what arouses you. Stable relationships are not contingent upon monogamy. As I said, you can still make it work, and some guys are okay with it. But most guys aren't, that's just the truth.

I have formed a stable non-monogamous relationship.

Edited May 22, 2021 by Twega

[Clems]

I won’t talk about my past cuz I’ve been addicted to masturbating, but in the end i just realized that it’s really useless and a waste of time. And what’s the point in having a gf if you’re going to masturbate or want to fuck other girls anyway? It’s better to leave that girl if you can’t stop, i’m sure you’ll realize the same thing soon or later 

[DnoReally]

Stop watching porn

[intotheblack]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

That men should trancend their " devilry" while woman shouldn't trancend anything? ( That men are selfish and need to change and not woman becuase woman are the good guys)

No.  Both should transcend. I’m pointing out how the responses here are that women should ‘just accept it’ or find someone more secure. 
of course women should also transcend never said they shouldn’t!

and I would say the same thing to a woman who want to sleep with other men whilst in a relationship.  I’m sure a lot of guys wouldn’t want this either. 
 

Just be single and sleep with lots of people and get it out of your system, don’t drag other people into it and hurt them. 

Edited May 22, 2021 by intotheblack

[intotheblack]

33 minutes ago, Clems said:

I won’t talk about my past cuz I’ve been addicted to masturbating, but in the end i just realized that it’s really useless and a waste of time. And what’s the point in having a gf if you’re going to masturbate or want to fuck other girls anyway? It’s better to leave that girl if you can’t stop, i’m sure you’ll realize the same thing soon or later 

A smart response.  Don’t be in a relationship if you want other partners, or find someone who also wants an open relationship.  Don’t force the other person to accept something.

[SamC]

49 minutes ago, intotheblack said:

No.  Both should transcend. I’m pointing out how the responses here are that women should ‘just accept it’ or find someone more secure. 
of course women should also transcend never said they shouldn’t!

and I would say the same thing to a woman who want to sleep with other men whilst in a relationship.  I’m sure a lot of guys wouldn’t want this either. 
 

Just be single and sleep with lots of people and get it out of your system, don’t drag other people into it and hurt them. 

@intotheblack Notice how you label wanting to sleep with other people when you're in a relationship as evil and thus disowning it from yourself

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, Twega said:

@somegirl, I think you are wrong, some guys do use it to justify cheating, but that doesn't explain why the desire to cheat was there in the first place—two different things.

As a girl, you will never understand what it feels like to be a man and what arouses us isn't the same as what arouses you. Stable relationships are not contingent upon monogamy. As I said, you can still make it work, and some guys are okay with it. But most guys aren't, that's just the truth.

I have formed a stable non-monogamous relationship.

@Twega If you were in a commited relationship with a girl, would you be so understanding if she cheated on you?

[intotheblack]

44 minutes ago, SamC said:

Notice how you label wanting to sleep with other people when you're in a relationship as evil and thus disowning it from yourself

Where did I say it was evil? 

there is a difference between having a desire to do something and actually doing it and hurting other people along the way.  Do what you want but also be aware that there will be a trail of collateral damage.
Most of these desires come and go, it’s normal.  I’m not saying that having these fantasies is wrong, everyone does it.   

Something like wanking excessively to your Facebook friends is something small that can easily be transcended by simply having other things going on in your life and breaking away from that dopamine fix.  Or even just doing some hardcore workouts and grounding yourself. Plus seeking feminine energies in other ways. 
 

cos that’s all it is, a dopamine fix. I remember years ago I went through a phase of watching porn, and I realised how addictive it was, then I couldn’t cum without it.  And that’s me as a woman, becoming addicted to porn.. and that was just like once or twice a week.  I stopped it cold turkey and went back to imagination which was really hard at first. So I can imagine how addictive it would be if you’re doing it every day. 

Edited May 22, 2021 by intotheblack

[DIDego]

7 hours ago, JohnIsDoe said:

but I have been dating my gf for over two years. 6 months ago

What is dating in this case and two years, 6 month ago GF found out about your habit.. and how many days are you going to struggle with it?

Are you two fully committed as a couple?

What do you want in life and how about your girlfriend?

Where are you going, are you two using each other as distractions?

Life purpose?

Security?

Survival?

Children?

Age?

History?

Porn and religion?

Generation?

Parents?

Ye, there are much too put on this list?

Dating and girlfriend?

How long dating before relationship?

 Definition of girlfriend

1: a female friend

2: a frequent or regular female companion in a romantic or sexual relationship

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/girlfriend

 Definition of dating service

: a business that introduces people to each other so that they can decide if they want to date each other = online dating services

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dating service

 

ZOOM OUT and take the hard walk away, if too much that are behind this small issue in a big picture!

❤️?

Edited May 22, 2021 by DIDego

[AtheisticNonduality]

If it's against the rules, it's cheating.

[Shin]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

@Twega If you were in a commited relationship with a girl, would you be so understanding if she cheated on you?

Because if it's not exactly the classical monogamous relationship it can't be a commited relationship ?

 

[somegirl]

@Peter Miklis @Shin Huh?

I have carefully read what he was saying about open relationship and I know what I was asking - I was asking if he were to be in a commited relationship (which is the same as monogamous relationship) would he be okay with the cheating from the girl's side.

Since he has much compassion towards guys who seek sexual variety, would he be so understanding if same thing happened to him. 

Edited May 22, 2021 by somegirl

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, somegirl said:

Because if this were to be true (that guy's brains simply operate that way), then guys and girls are made to just naturally not get along together

When females are injected with testosterone, their sex drive increases and they are more interested in having casual sex without care for any guy in particular.

The sex drive created by testosterone is of such a character that it is indifferent to who it is having sex with. The female sex drive is different in that it is highly selective and tends to only want sex with one specific person. Whereas the male sex drives does not care who it has sex with.

This is difficult for females to accept and understand because to understand it requires having testosterone running through your blood. Which you actually could do. But then you might grow a mustache.

Male and female sex drives are quantitatively and qualitatively different.

But nothing I said is a justification for any kind of behavior. You can't derive an ought from an is. Certainly men can be in monogamous relationships. Although the more testosterone your man has the more sexual variety he will tend to demand.

Porn is actually a good way to keep your man from cheating on you, since it creates a sort of release valve. It helps to understand that your man is not falling in love with the girls in the porn. That's not how a man's mind works. Also, the porn is never as good as real sex, so you're not going to lose a man to porn.

Jerking off to Facebook friends? That is admittedly weird and creepy.

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

you have a finite amount of sexual chi energy. Instead of saving that energy for her, you are wasting in

Abundance mindset

Not saying you should do this, but: if you are a guy and you don't have enough energy to bang two girls, you've got some serious energy problems.

[egoeimai]

I only read your first post and nothing below that but keep in mind in super natural to masturbate on porn and your girl must accept that. I think he's insecure and a bit childish. 

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, egoeimai said:

and your girl must accept that.

She doesn't have to accept it.

But he also doesn't have to accept her.

You gotta find people with whom you fit. That's key. You can't really change people.

[Harlen Kelly]

@intotheblack

5 hours ago, intotheblack said:

Yep. Of course it’s purely devilish to say that from a mans point of view, and it’s benefitting them to say that it is the woman who should be more secure and that she has to simply accept that.  It wouldn’t be expected of the man to transcend himself in that area. No just the woman should change.  It allows them to keep being devils.  
also remember most the guys on this forum are young and have distorted views on relationships and love.  

Men don't owe you a monogamous relationship. Surprise, surprise. Wanting to have a monogamous relationship is mostly the female's agenda, not the male's agenda.

Something else that needs to be understood is the following: there is nothing transcendental about the craving of monogamous relationships. If you desire a monogamous relationship, fine. But don't delude yourself into thinking that you are ascending or something by virtue of the fact that you want to have a monogamous relationship. 

Obsessing over the idea of a monogamous relationship is equivalent to obsessing over the idea of having big house, or the idea of having a lot of power, etc. It's just another delusion and craving of the ego. 

Edited May 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Harlen Kelly]

23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Abundance mindset

Not saying you should do this, but: if you are a guy and you don't have enough energy to bang two girls, you've got some serious energy problems.

Lol

[Shin]

28 minutes ago, Husseinisdoingfine said:

I never understood how other men can fuck so much, it drains me way too much personally.

So that's pretty much accurate I guess

Don't be mad to be a low testosterone dude