How to cure anxiety about one’s body/appearance?

[mkrksms]

Any ideas on how to cure BDD (body dysmorphic disorder)? Or obsessive identification and anxiety about one’s body/appearance in general.

I’ve already tried everything from conventional treatments like CBT, SSRI’s etc, to psychedelics, shadow work, integrative and transpersonal therapy, gestalt therapy and such, also holotropic breathwork and other kinds of breathwork, different yoga and meditation practices and so on. But I still can’t get to the core of this issue.

Any thoughts?

[Mz Hyde]

I'm not sure what bother you about your appearance, but I had this issue because of severe scarring from skin-picking (I have dermatillomania). The way I handled this was through forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone. One day I've just said enough is enough and got out in public without makeup (which always seemed impossible to me). That was the worst anxiety experience in my life, but I managed to stay mindful throughout the whole thing and after some time of terror it was all just puff.. gone! That day I felt free for the first time in my life. I think that talking won't help you much when it comes to this issue. You need to get out there and do it (whatever it might be for you, and I bet you already know what it is). Yes, it'll be scary, but hey! You can't be brave if you're not scared. And believe me, it will all pay off by ten times in the end.

Wish you the best of luck!

[mkrksms]

33 minutes ago, Mz Hyde said:

I'm not sure what bother you about your appearance, but I had this issue because of severe scarring from skin-picking (I have dermatillomania). The way I handled this was through forcing myself to step out of my comfort zone. One day I've just said enough is enough and got out in public without makeup (which always seemed impossible to me). That was the worst anxiety experience in my life, but I managed to stay mindful throughout the whole thing and after some time of terror it was all just puff.. gone! That day I felt free for the first time in my life. I think that talking won't help you much when it comes to this issue. You need to get out there and do it (whatever it might be for you, and I bet you already know what it is). Yes, it'll be scary, but hey! You can't be brave if you're not scared. And believe me, it will all pay off by ten times in the end.

Wish you the best of luck!

I’ve done a lot of exposure exactly like that but it doesn’t get to the root in my experience. Sooner or later I relapse, although it’s not as bad as it used to be. Exposure has changed my behavior in many ways and the anxiety is less severe, but the changes are mostly on surface level. No matter how much I expose myself in the background I always feel this deep dissatisfaction and sense of being defect.

Edited May 21, 2021 by mkrksms

[Mz Hyde]

35 minutes ago, mkrksms said:

I’ve done a lot of exposure exactly like that but it doesn’t get to the root in my experience. Sooner or later I relapse, although it’s not as bad as it used to be. Exposure has changed my behavior in many ways and the anxiety is less severe, but the changes are mostly on surface level. No matter how much I expose myself in the background I always feel this deep dissatisfaction and sense of being defect.

Are you being mindful during exposure? In my case, just watching those feelings 'in the background' for long enough period of time was the key. Of course, you need to do it consistently, and not just once in a while. Since the day I stopped hiding scars I've never put on makeup again. There've been many nasty comments, but over time you become immune to it. This whole thing is very painful and takes much time, so you gotta be patient and gently strict about it. Just don't give up!

[mkrksms]

13 hours ago, Mz Hyde said:

Are you being mindful during exposure? In my case, just watching those feelings 'in the background' for long enough period of time was the key. Of course, you need to do it consistently, and not just once in a while. Since the day I stopped hiding scars I've never put on makeup again. There've been many nasty comments, but over time you become immune to it. This whole thing is very painful and takes much time, so you gotta be patient and gently strict about it. Just don't give up!

It’s just so discouraging to keep up when I don’t feel any persistant transformation. But maybe you’re right, I’ve might have done it in the wrong way.

Is it really so that you’ve become immune to other peoples judgements? It sounds amazing and hopeful.

Edited May 22, 2021 by mkrksms

[Mz Hyde]

28 minutes ago, mkrksms said:

It’s just so discouraging to keep up when I don’t feel any persistant transformation. But maybe you’re right, I’ve might have done it in the wrong way.

Is it really so that you’ve become immune to other peoples judgements? It sounds amazing and hopeful.

I know it can get very hard and discouraging, but every transformation needs a lot of time and effort. Try to remind yourself that those moments are exactly the actual reason why you are even doing this. It's easy to stay motivated and positive when everything goes smoothly, but the key is to manage that during hard times. Becoming immune to judgements took me a looong time (6 months ago I stopped putting makeup). All that skin-picking craziness started as a coping mechanism back in primary school where I was bullied, so other people's judgements have always been very big problem form me. When you are in some situation that cause you anxiety you have to let go and stop resisting. All the suffering comes from resisting those feelings, not from the feelings themselves. Let yourself watch and embrace that anxiety with every atom of your body. Realy feel it, don't try to distract yourself from it. You have to stop running away. Just face it.

[mkrksms]

4 hours ago, Mz Hyde said:

I know it can get very hard and discouraging, but every transformation needs a lot of time and effort. Try to remind yourself that those moments are exactly the actual reason why you are even doing this. It's easy to stay motivated and positive when everything goes smoothly, but the key is to manage that during hard times. Becoming immune to judgements took me a looong time (6 months ago I stopped putting makeup). All that skin-picking craziness started as a coping mechanism back in primary school where I was bullied, so other people's judgements have always been very big problem form me. When you are in some situation that cause you anxiety you have to let go and stop resisting. All the suffering comes from resisting those feelings, not from the feelings themselves. Let yourself watch and embrace that anxiety with every atom of your body. Realy feel it, don't try to distract yourself from it. You have to stop running away. Just face it.

It’s true I don’t have any other choice than facing it. Thank you for your reminders. ❤️ I’m impressed that you’ve come this far.

[Mz Hyde]

36 minutes ago, mkrksms said:

It’s true I don’t have any other choice than facing it. Thank you for your reminders. ❤️ I’m impressed that you’ve come this far.

You got this!! Whenever you need an ear feel free to DM me.

PS. Don't know about you, but music helps me when no one else does, so here are some songs that really helped me through the tough times.. 

 

Edited May 22, 2021 by Mz Hyde

[JonasVE12]

body dysmorphic disorder is really a symptom. It's not actually about your appearance that your sense of being flawed comes from. It's projected shame. You have lost connection to that feeling inside you. What happened? What is your life story? It's mostly a systemic issue that goes very deep into the history of your conditioning. I remember myself taking 100 selfies everyday some years ago. I was trying to affirm I'm not ugly. I even went to a plastic surgeon for getting a nose job. Didn't do it eventually.

BDB is a perfect example of self-deceptive projection. It's not actually about an objective parameter like your appearance in this case. Of course your appearance bothers you, because of the shame, the emotion, that is burried inside your energetic system.

Imagine that you would feel complete self-acceptance, love, power- inside yourself. And imagine if it would all be reflected back at you by your external world. Imagine that the world would validate you, helping you realise you are loved, whole and powerful. Would you hate your appearance then?

In fact, can you lay down, put your hands on your heart and become aware/feel your pain? Feeling the emotions in your body that let you hate your appearance? Can you feel them and become aware of them? Can you welcome them? If you can, could you let some of them go? If not, can you let them be there? If yes, can you then let some of them go after you have allowed them to be there? Really feel into the body and the emotions/vibrations. Notice that tension and vibration, let go & surrender. 

Can you then welcome feelings of self-love? Feelings of power? Maybe you can open your heart a bit?

I understand that you are looking for an approach that releases this feelings permanently and that sets you free long-term. It's a proces.

Will you allow yourself to be vulerable and share your full story? Only then we can see under the surface, allowing us to see clarity in this systemic issue. Then there might be clarity about what the best path would be for you to walk to set you free.

I feel confident about myself right now. In fact, I like my appearance. Maybe you might be able to enjoy yours too in some time? Maybe you might even be able to look in the mirror and feel a sense of self-love and power. In fact, I'm confident that you would be able to do that in the end. 

[Mu_]

On 5/21/2021 at 9:19 AM, mkrksms said:

Any ideas on how to cure BDD (body dysmorphic disorder)? Or obsessive identification and anxiety about one’s body/appearance in general.

I’ve already tried everything from conventional treatments like CBT, SSRI’s etc, to psychedelics, shadow work, integrative and transpersonal therapy, gestalt therapy and such, also holotropic breathwork and other kinds of breathwork, different yoga and meditation practices and so on. But I still can’t get to the core of this issue.

Any thoughts?

Are there any others judging you besides you?  I mean do they tell you to your face and put you down?  If not, it must just be in your belief that its going on or you feel this way some how.  One thing that helped me get over my anxiety of judgement from others is realizing, I was making most of the judgements of what I thought other people thought and felt.  I just believed they thought and felt this way, I didn't actually know.

Also it helped to realize that most people are wrapped up in their own world thinking about what they want and run by their own desires, conditioning (this isn't a negative, just a way to explain one having an individual life experience) and most could care less to spend much time thinking about you in a negative way (sure it happens), but even then its easily seen and understood that they may have been raised that way or are impressioned by societal views about beauty, wealth, and worth.  Why let your self be run by their trauma and conditioning.  Basically its not personal, they are just being run by their own programming.  Find empathy and understanding and let actual verbal judgments go, sure they may momentarily sting.  If you still think they are true, ask yourself why, and see if its good enough a reason to dislike yourself.