Experiencing hypnagogic-like, sleep-paralysis-like interactive hallucinations

[Brandon Nankivell]

It's only after my 4th what I call a 'interactive hallucination' that I've finally considered that this may have something to do with higher levels of consciousness, but I'm not sure, and that's why I'm writing this post.

Hallucination may not be the correct term but bear with me.

Background: 26 now, been doing the whole personal development stuff since 17 and overall live a peaceful life, apart from one main thing that's been knocking on my door which is the call to intimacy.

Hallucination 1

I experienced my first one about 1.5 years ago after waking up a little hungover and drowsy. I lost my notes on it but from what I recall, it was lucid-dream-like but not a lucid dream. It had a dreamy feel to it. I was in a room, without my body, a point of consciousness, and I got sucked into a point across the side of the room that I recognized as DMT dust.

There was a profound message that my Dad was hyper-committed to my Mum because of love, in spite of the hardships of caring for someone with heavy mental illness. This has always scared me, but I understood why Dad stuck around after that experience.

I woke up in a shock which I can describe as neither good or bad.

I had 2-3 more between then and now, spaced about 6 months apart.

Hallucination 2

Another one during my 6-months of my stint of unconditional love outpouring and absolute joy!

I was drowsy in the afternoon, and in minutes I entered this sleep-paralysis-like state and I started seeing clear psychedelic geometry, and my body was merging with everything other than my body! Buzzing sounds...

This is why I describe these experiences as interactive. They involve more than just seeing something. It typically involves the body merging with the outside, and I'm completely awake, yet kind of in a dream space and my body is immobile.

It also has a spiritual presence to the experience, unlike previous sleep-paralysis experiences I've had when I was a young teenager, they had nightmarish themes.

Hallucination 3 (today)

Context: Around 2pm, in bed on a work break

Journal entry:

Was feeling tired, wasn't sure why but biggest suspect was the amounts of fat I'm eating on a non-keto diet. The 2 giant strips of bacon, 4 eggs, and butter I had this morning.

Anyway...

Shit got interesting...

I was listening to Leo from Actualized.org talk about Jordan Peterson.

Just 5-minutes-ish in and suddenly I found myself with my body paralyzed, fixed in place.

The voice of Leo in the background.

Conscious. Aware.

I heard a continuous stream in the background, something that was similar to the 'bye woody' scene in toy story, that echooey 'byyyyeeeeeeeee wooooooooooooddyyy' with a bit of chime, ring and spin.

Subtle.

I saw blackness.

I felt my body on it's side, slowly beginning to automatically penetrate.

There was a feeling that this is all my body wanted to do. It was begging for it. Maybe my minds projection, but nonetheless that was what was happening.

Automatic penetration. The dick wants to penetrate a woman.

***I was not using my will to do this, it was automatically happening, it was as if I was an observer of it yet feeling it at the same time

Maybe the mind speaking again, but whilst and upon awakening from this experience, it's clear to me that penetration into a woman where I'm truly aware and loving, is what needs to happen to break through.

***note - this has been a recurring theme for a long time now, including on psychedelic experiences, to get intimate with a woman - it's been a long time and I often avoid it because I find it more comfortable to do things on my own

It feels like there is something to break through.

I felt my body merging with everything outside of me.

At one point I saw visuals. Like a blurry painting right in the centre of my vision, taking up 15% of the composition. The rest black.

It's a divine space.

Common themes:

• Happens when I'm drowsy in the afternoon
• Lasts no more than 5 minutes
• Pretty clear visions
• Peripheral is always black
• Feel completely conscious
• Body immobile
• Ringing, buzzing, or feint spiritual ambient music
• A slight 'holiness' feel to the experience
• Merging of the body with the environment outside of it
  • This is probably the biggest reason I feel this isn't an ordinary dream, lucid dream, sleep-paralysis, or hypnagogic experience - it's so potent and lines up with many accounts of experienced meditators - I can best describe it as 'merging with the universe'
  • I feel like if this merging were to get any stronger, I would become everything and completely engulfed in euphoric bliss, it feels amazing, although I don't feel there would be 'me' anymore in my body, just one giant all encompassing infinity - I don't really have the words

Thoughts on what I'm experiencing?

[JimMorrison]

I have had these experiences before as well while being conscious at work. It felt very exclusive to a psychedelic trip. It was like being completely aware of everything around me and how I just felt euphoria.

 

Come to think of it I had an experience kind of similar in feeling like I was engulfed in a sexual experience with the Universe.

Edited May 21, 2021 by JimMorrison