What to do about ego backlash?

[Vynce]

Hey guys, do you have any practical advice for someone, who struggles to be present when the ego takes over again? Especially after four of five weeks of sales work (thats the longest time most do at my company because its a 6-day/week 12 hour job) my ego cripples me down for weeks. I cant have any joyful moments as it seems during that time. Even though I hate to watch porn, my ego wont let me rest until i jerk off eventually. Same with food. I have a pretty solid and healthy diet, but when the ego backlash comes around, i can only be satisfied by overeating until my stomach hurts. Right now im conscious and this sounds pretty simple to me - just stay present and observe the negative feeling. But in that moment of urge and agony presence is interupted every second. 

Is it just training or am i missing something? 

[SamC]

Make up a plan when for when an ego backlash occurs.

My plan is something like this:

1: Take a walk

2: Go meditate for fuck sake. I know you don´t feel like but just go do it

3: Lay in the bed in despair and just be in the depression-like feelings

4: Do whatever I feel like I want to do and need.

 

in other words, make up a plan - try to be with your feelings and try to do stuff you normally do but at the same time, don´t be so hard on yourself. Maybe just relax and take a day off. If you " fuck up" - then let yourself fuck up and even more importantly - let yourself be okay that you´re not okay with fucking up.

And go fucking meditate on it! ( if you can)

 

 

Edited May 19, 2021 by SamC

[Zigzag Idiot]

For me, sitting with it, when done successfully can often create some inner space. Feeling whatever you feel fully without repressing but not acting on it. Not being reactive. This is often very difficult despite it sounding so simple.

Martin Butler had a podcast recently that might be really applicable.