I feel like I'm chasing success just to get girls..

[IAmPaulQuinn]

Let me set some points for clarification:

- I like girls. And I would love to have a romantic relationship with a special someone and build a great family.

 

Let's continue:

I've been thinking a lot about this recently. With self awareness, I realize that most of my motivation for chasing 'success' is to make sure I have a wide variety of mates to acquire.

 

The only problem with this is that: I feel a sense of meaninglessness.

 

Like, what am I doing? 

 

I want to build a meaningful life, following my core values and activities that will bring me to fulfillment. I want to focus on a small number of things that is important to me.

 

Girls should be a bonus. That's it. I don't think it should be my main motivation for chasing after the weird definition of 'success' that society tells me to acquire.

 

Thoughts?

[ivankiss]

Finance before romance ? 

More success should result in more dating options, naturally. It's just not smart to chase success for that reason - imo.

Do it for yourself. For your wellbeing and comfort. The rest will follow.

[Snader]

You might be too weak to follow your ideals or too lazy to roll your sleeves up (which could also be the symptom of the first point), and for that you use girls as a distraction.

I've personally had some romances which I've ended as I've become conscious of the subtle and sneaky self-deceptions working on me through intimate relationships. After introspective contemplation and rising up from the ashes, I've found that it's been the lack of meaning and purpose in my life that has caused all that. No question about that, it's crystal clear to me now.

And I don't mean every relationship is a distraction by any means, not at all. They can be uplifting and beautiful, but in my case it was about regressing to more toxic SD Orange type of relationships.

Another perspective would be that you are just searching for oneness and union, and the most familiar source to you might be women. This also assumes that you might be suffering from lack of direction in life. You as a man and a divine creature look for unity, and when your in a big need of it, you may end up looking for that in women and relationships. Your higher self can tap into that sense or feeling of unity through many different ways, but your lower self might only know one.

[NoSelfSelf]

I found that in human psyche we dont go for what we want directly you want to succea to get girls why not get girls directly ?

[Wordless]

On 5/18/2021 at 0:07 PM, IAmPaulQuinn said:

I want to build a meaningful life, following my core values and activities that will bring me to fulfillment. I want to focus on a small number of things that is important to me.

Is the great family you mentioned one of those things? Building a healthy amount of material success and relationship experience would be a very reasonable path towards that goal.