How to not let compassion come at a great personal cost ?

[Preety_India]

So you want to be compassionate to people but at the same time you don't want to be fucked over by them.

Like if your friend told you that they are in a bad place in life and you're ready to let them live in your house and the next thing you know that in your absence they completely trash your house or or lose important stuff and you're left wondering how much you can put up with and why should you ?

I mean compassion is one thing and I always feel very good to help people, it's a nice thing to do. But often I'm left exasperated when the personal cost of helping someone runs high. I feel like I did a mistake. But I couldn't have known beforehand if a person was going to take advantage of me.

It's like I really appreciate helping someone when they need me but not wanting to lose something of myself at the same time. I don't know how to maneuver around this in such a way where I know I'm helping the right person. I know I'm not getting fucked over 

But I usually learn only when the damage is done.

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Preety_India

[BipolarGrowth]

Stand Up for Yourself and Learn to Say NO

I made this based on when I let someone I had known for years stay at my house and they fucked me over in multiple ways. Maybe it will help. At the end of the day, you can never know with certainty if helping someone in a large way will come back to bite you or not. If you get good at standing up for yourself in these situations, which isn’t always easy, you can cut your losses much earlier and move on. 

[Preety_India]

@BipolarGrowth thank you Brandon.

That video is very helpful.

 

[One Day]

Some advice I can give:

-Love all, trust few. You can still have compassion for people without trusting them or allowing them in your life.

-Set personal boundaries and write them down. So you will always be sure what to do in unsure situations.