Is Monogamy Right?

[Raptorsin7]

Is there an ideal relationship style that is closest to the highest good? Like if someone said my dating strategy is to rape as many woman as I can before I die we can all agree that is not an ideal dating strategy for living a good life. So is there is some kind of relationship style that is best?

I've always thought that find a single person to be with and marry is the ideal situation, but this is just conditioning and I didn't actually come to this conclusion on my own. Are there are better relationship styles?

Any thoughts?

[SageModeAustin]

yes, following your heart/intuition is the best way to go in every moment. especially in relationships. also being authentic. 

[aurum]

@Raptorsin7

If there is, I haven't found it.

Each relationship style could be in alignment for that person or simply a result of following their conditioning. Usually it's a mix of both.

There certainly is a bias for monogamy in mainstream culture. Monogamy brought social stability as humanity broke out of communal living and become more individualistic. But if you swim in circles outside the mainstream, like the new-age community, you can find people with a strong bias for polyamory and other "non-traditional" styles of relationships.

[Jiri Kuokkanen]

I like the saying "there aren't free lunches in the dating game". Monogamy might sound ideal and virtuous, but many of them end in vain, mostly because it is somewhat unnatural to be limited to one partner sexually. In the beginning of a relationship, the novelty makes us fall in love, but once the novelty is gone and you know the other person including their boringness and downsides, the mind might do tricks and suddenly you crush on someone new. However, on the other hand, I do find it very admirable when a married couple makes the commitment to stay together, no matter if there's problems like I tried to describe. Someone could call that "endurance" true love. But is that the ideal way to live, I guess it depends. Maybe if you find someone who is worthy of such commitment. More casual style of relationships or recycling partners to get a new rush of excitement might be an alternative option that leads to different kind of happiness and sadness. Maybe one won't feel very grounded if there's nothing that lasts long and one might feel lack of purpose because of the shallowness of changing partners constantly. I didn't even get started with all ideas I have about the topic, but anyways, thanks for the interesting topic.

[Zion]

There's maybe an ideal style of relationship for absolute good, it's just hardly existent, if at all. Jealousy & overall extreme selfishness are what I see to be the main flaws in most modern relationship styles. The ideal relationship of good would perhaps be a relationship what factors in all that a friendship has, except with sex, & no ego. Essentially no expectations. This would be a world where there wouldn't be "an ideal healthy relationship", it would be more like an open-relationship amongst everybody without the unconscious jealousy & selfishness.

[Emerald]

16 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Is there an ideal relationship style that is closest to the highest good? Like if someone said my dating strategy is to rape as many woman as I can before I die we can all agree that is not an ideal dating strategy for living a good life. So is there is some kind of relationship style that is best?

I've always thought that find a single person to be with and marry is the ideal situation, but this is just conditioning and I didn't actually come to this conclusion on my own. Are there are better relationship styles?

Any thoughts?

Well, honestly... there is ONLY monogamy in the strictest sense.

Every relationship is monogamous because it's always person to person... one to one. 

Even a polyamorous relationship is really a collection of overlapping/interconnected monogamous relationships. 

All friendships are monogamous too. 

The real question is it more ideal to have an exclusive monogamous romantic relationship... or a collection of non-exclusive monogamous relationships.

I would say the later is more challenging because of the complexity... but can be done well. 

But if the question is "Is monogamy right?"... there is no inherent right or wrong. But there is an inherent healthy and unhealthy... harmonious and unharmonious... natural and unnatural.

I would say that there are unique challenges in relation to health, harmony, and alignment with nature with any relationship because our instincts and higher nature always leave discrepencies.

Monogamy is easier in some senses because it's less complex. But harder because it's more strict. 

Edited May 18, 2021 by Emerald

[Zeroguy]

@Emerald Will you allow your bf that? 

I bet no or I beleive you will do that. 

I myself get stuff thrown at me for "overlapping". 

Edited May 18, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Zeroguy]

Want overlapping guys. Completelly sorted out all other areas of your life for that. You can't handle 1 let alone 2 women and all their needs. Lets face it. 

These questions, honestly. 

Edited May 18, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Zeroguy]

You are afraid to  get bald. I really wouldn't put myself under that risk. Don't harm yourself man. 

[Emerald]

17 hours ago, Zeroguy said:

@Emerald Will you allow your bf that? 

I bet no or I beleive you will do that. 

I myself get stuff thrown at me for "overlapping". 

I am monogamously oriented. So, no.

What I'm saying is that all relationships are technically monogamous... even polyamorous ones.

[Roy]

As long as it's consensual and healthy, I'd say anything goes.

 

[Consept]

Interesting question, ultimately it will come down to the individual or individuals, involved to work out what is best for them. There are pros and cons whatever road you go down. Monogamy has worked in that it's an easy solution and it is generally good for society especially such a large one as ours, in terms of organisation. Therefore because of the bias toward monogomy it feels like the default choice. 

Going forward I think this will really be tested especially as we go into majority green and above. I think there will be more openness about the disillusion of monogamous marriages as we're seeing with high divorce rates. Traditional monogamous marriage is sold on a false promise of the one and romantic, eternal love, not to say this can't exist but its not the norm, considering the divorce high rate and other things. So it will be interesting to see the relationships of the future, ultimately the point of marriages is to create the best environment for kids, so let's what humans come up with.