tips on being alone most of the time?

[SageModeAustin]

how do you guys manage solitude/loneliness? I'm on average alone in my apartment 5/7 days a week with little social contact. I talk to one girl, and a few guy friends. Besides that its basically me myself and I. Any tips on actually enjoying your own company?

[Roy]

7 minutes ago, SageModeAustin said:

Any tips on actually enjoying your own company?

Simply fill your time doing things you want to do. You'll be enjoying yourself so much you'll practically forget other people exist.

[SageModeAustin]

@Roy if im on psychedlics then yes..but right now everything seems so black and grey and like a chore. even games. i quit gaming a few months ago becuse it just made me depressed 

[Roy]

Just now, SageModeAustin said:

@Roy if im on psychedlics then yes..but right now everything seems so black and grey and like a chore. even games. i quit gaming a few months ago becuse it just made me depressed 

If you need to do drugs or psychedelics to make hobbies interesting or enjoyable, you might have a substance abuse problem.

Things may seem like a chore from where you are right now, but that's because you are sitting where you are right now and not INSIDE the activities giving them an honest chance.

Brainstorm some stuff you'd like to do or think would be fun, and just try them. You'll be amazed how fast you'll be consumed by positive emotions.

[SageModeAustin]

@Roy wellll its more like it feels like im missing out. almost like everyone else is having fun, while im down in the dumps clearing karma. i cant think of any hobby that could possibly suffice that. the only thing right now is stand up comedy but that high only lasts a few hours 

[Roy]

19 minutes ago, SageModeAustin said:

wellll its more like it feels like im missing out. almost like everyone else is having fun, while im down in the dumps clearing karma.

So? That's just where you're at. That's your journey. There is no script for life, that is pure cultural egoic bullshit. Maybe you're doing what you need to to heal before you break back out. It's only temporary.

19 minutes ago, SageModeAustin said:

i cant think of any hobby that could possibly suffice that. the only thing right now is stand up comedy but that high only lasts a few hours 

Then do that! And I'm sure you've got a lot more potential hobbies, or old ones you can re-spark. Actually sit down for an hour and commit to looking at the things you could do and think about them. Not just a passing few minutes of "ahh nothing came to mind right away guess they don't exist." 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Roy

[SageModeAustin]

@Roy hmmm yea maybe this is just my path and nothing wrong with that. TRUE. 

i thought of a list

sky diving

stand up comedy

exercise

exploring abandoned haunted buildings 

playing the flute 

climbing extremely tall skyscrapers 

photography 

sailing 

scuba diving 

camping and contemplating my existence 

 

[Roy]

Good long list. I'm sure you could fill a lot of time with those and have a lot of fun doin it.

 

[Ethan1]

Find self-acceptance and focus on self-care.. 

Traveling solo around the US alone teaches one to adapt to loneliness in New environments. 

Gives a different perspective on being an outsider. Going from town to town not knowing a soul. Especially feeling different when meeting different sub-cultures(unfamiliar). 

From my mind, finding self-acceptance is the key. Accepting what is and trying to dig deeper to understand why you feel a certain way. 

I've been living on the road for about a year now. Away from family & friends. People come and go. Meet strangers/friends every day if you surround yourself in the right environments. My definition of a friend has evolved from when I left. Knowing that life is always changing. Friends come and go. Leaving the friends I make in one town and meeting new people in the next. Letting go. 

For me it's been more the journey to have a relationship with myself. I think most people are seeking self-assurance and affirmation/worth in others. Escapism via friendships to meet an unmet need.

 

But still it might come down to your attachment style. Understanding things like abandonment trauma and attachment trauma helps. 

Besides all that it truly comes down to meeting your own needs and filling your own cup. If you feel satitated then awesome but if you feel you're only getting emotional crumbs then it's worth diving deeper. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 17, 2021 by Ethan1